J, brother, thanks so much for sharing. Mission accomplished, your post has taken my mind off the tragedy for a few minutes and for that I thank you.
Some things we learned last year after our hurricane encounters:
* Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.
* No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work
without electricity. But you still do it over and over again.
* Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in
their hand.
* Cats are even more irritating without power.
* He who has the biggest generator wins.
* Women can actually survive without doing their hair--you just wish
they weren't around you.
* A new method of non-lethal torture--showers without hot water.
* There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.
* TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful. One day at a time, brother.
* A 7 lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz Budweiser's to a drinkable
temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14-pound turkey frozen for 8 more hours.
* There are a lot of trees around here.
* Flood plan drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong.
* Contrary to most Florida natives' beliefs, speed limit on roads
without traffic lights does not increase.
* Aluminum siding, while aesthetically pleasing, is definitely not
required.
* Just because you're 35 doesn't mean you can stay out as late as you
want. At least that's what the cops told me during a curfew stop.
* Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14
generators.
* People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line is for.
* When required, a Lincoln Continental will float--doesn't steer well, but floats just the same.
* Some things do keep the mailman from his appointed rounds.
* Tele-marketers function no matter what the weather is doing.
* Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as the
battery remains charged.
* Cell phones don't work when the cell towers have no power but your battery is fully charged.
* 27 of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than you,
and they are quick to point that out!
* Laundry hampers were not made to contain such a volume.
* If my store sold only ice, chainsaws, gas, and generators...I'd be rich.
* The price of a bag of ice rises 200% after a hurricane.
* Your water front property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole.
* Tree service companies are under appreciated.
* I learned what happens when you make fun of another state's blackout.
* MATH 101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30%
higher electric bill ?????
* Drywall is a compound word, take away the "dry" part and it's
worthless.
* I can walk a lot farther than I thought.
* Your house can sleep more than the 'posted occupancy'
* Cancel all pending trips by relatives that may coincide during a hurricane. The questions about hurricanes get old fast.
* No matter how much deodorant you use-you still stink.
* The neighbors are pretty cool (well most of them).
* Stump grinders will also cut phone/cable lines.
* Newscasters all wear black during/after a hurricane.
* You cannot read the crawl at the bottom of the screen on a handheld battery operated TV-and that's usually where the info you need is.
* Insects do not like it outside during/after storms and decide inside your house is the place to be.
* Your Hurricane deductible is MUCH higher than you ever thought possible.
* I will never take gasoline for granted again.
Take care everyone and I hope this at least brings a little smile to your face and they are all very, very true... God Bless.
* No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work
without electricity. But you still do it over and over again.
* Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in
their hand.
* Cats are even more irritating without power.
* He who has the biggest generator wins.
* Women can actually survive without doing their hair--you just wish
they weren't around you.
* A new method of non-lethal torture--showers without hot water.
* There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.
* TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful. One day at a time, brother.
* A 7 lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz Budweiser's to a drinkable
temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14-pound turkey frozen for 8 more hours.
* There are a lot of trees around here.
* Flood plan drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong.
* Contrary to most Florida natives' beliefs, speed limit on roads
without traffic lights does not increase.
* Aluminum siding, while aesthetically pleasing, is definitely not
required.
* Just because you're 35 doesn't mean you can stay out as late as you
want. At least that's what the cops told me during a curfew stop.
* Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14
generators.
* People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line is for.
* When required, a Lincoln Continental will float--doesn't steer well, but floats just the same.
* Some things do keep the mailman from his appointed rounds.
* Tele-marketers function no matter what the weather is doing.
* Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as the
battery remains charged.
* Cell phones don't work when the cell towers have no power but your battery is fully charged.
* 27 of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than you,
and they are quick to point that out!
* Laundry hampers were not made to contain such a volume.
* If my store sold only ice, chainsaws, gas, and generators...I'd be rich.
* The price of a bag of ice rises 200% after a hurricane.
* Your water front property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole.
* Tree service companies are under appreciated.
* I learned what happens when you make fun of another state's blackout.
* MATH 101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30%
higher electric bill ?????
* Drywall is a compound word, take away the "dry" part and it's
worthless.
* I can walk a lot farther than I thought.
* Your house can sleep more than the 'posted occupancy'
* Cancel all pending trips by relatives that may coincide during a hurricane. The questions about hurricanes get old fast.
* No matter how much deodorant you use-you still stink.
* The neighbors are pretty cool (well most of them).
* Stump grinders will also cut phone/cable lines.
* Newscasters all wear black during/after a hurricane.
* You cannot read the crawl at the bottom of the screen on a handheld battery operated TV-and that's usually where the info you need is.
* Insects do not like it outside during/after storms and decide inside your house is the place to be.
* Your Hurricane deductible is MUCH higher than you ever thought possible.
* I will never take gasoline for granted again.
Take care everyone and I hope this at least brings a little smile to your face and they are all very, very true... God Bless.
1 comment:
That was beautiful and so much fun. Reminds me of my childhood. What a precious soul J is.
Let me add: Toilets will flush. You have to use the water from the neighbor's pool to make it happen though.
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