Sitting on Trev's desk. Debating on whether to slip under Em's door. Translated from the original Hynerian.
Around I wrap a blanket
of confusion and pain
and I am of the belief
it keeps me warm
so as I get colder
I pull it tighter
and tighter
My fingers grow white
and tremble
my nose red
and runny
the world blurry
still
and what I see
is not of my eye
but of memory
a strange mix
like sleet and snow
what was
and
what could have been
The movies in my mind
play
over and over
and I watch them
again and again
same movie
same result
but all the same
I watch
I watch
and I watch
and I would be lying
if I were to say
there was not
some part
however small
that thinks
if I watch long enough
the ending will change
8 comments:
Forgive me Tr'ee, I am only saying this because you tell us how much of your own thoughts and feelings are put into your writing. Today, I felt as if I was reading more of what you are feeling than what Trev is feeling. Very raw and emotional today. I apologize if I am way off.
Kimmie, I'm tapping into emotions from many, many years ago so, to that extent, it is me, but this is still Trev, if that makes any sense. In other words, this is not me writing about me in the present. We are still in the world of fiction, of Trev, and what he is experiencing. ;-)
No need to apologize. I prefer to answer these sorts of questions rather than leaving them for the world of assumptions and you know what they say about assuming. :-D
Oh, I know that Tr'ee. I guess what I was trying to say is exactly what you said. I think we all have past moments in our lives that come back and play a role in our present lives. For you, being a writer, you have the gift of weaving those emotions into fiction. That my friend gives you a such an advantage. To be able to let them go through your writing must be a huge release for you. Hugs to you my friend.
Kimmie
Well, I wish it worked like that. It helps, to write of these things, and perhaps the pain is lessened somewhat, but emotional pain has a life of its own, like a cat with nine lives. And this is not all bad. Fodder to tap into again, for The Story, when need be. :-D
Once in a while, though I know not how, you exceed even yourself. Perhaps that has to do with Hope itself, but it is the way that you have written of it, resignation within and yet still holding the candle. This is exquisite, in ways I cannot even begin to describe. Soulful. Unfeigned. A touching of the core. When words come that can speak some of just how special this is, so will I, come back that is.
You know, I try, with every chapter, to write with a 'realness.' Real not in the sense of Real, but real in the sense that I am being as true to myself as I possibly can, that I write from what I know, not to write, but to document, so to speak. That, I think, has power. Everything else is just preening and pimping, not that I'm beneath a little pimping, of course. :-D
This is a very powerful statement. Watching is the key to awareness & surely & certainly one gets the power to change the ending by doing just that!
Mona, I like the way you think. Hope your back is feeling better. :-)
Post a Comment