Thursday, December 18, 2008

612. Poppy Red



Trev again. Slipped under Em's door. Translated from the original Hynerian.

I think of copper coins tossed
our palms to the sun
our fingers gently splayed

And the splash
to seal the wish
tied like bows with our smiles

Your lips, that day
I remember
as I traced them with my finger

And your eyes
wet with intent
looked at me as I was looking at you

We kissed in the sun
before the fountain
soaking in the eyes upon us

To be adored
and envied
a universal connection to all who witnessed

I remember your waist
as I pulled you tight
and the small of your back

And in your hair
a flower I placed
poppy red, a crimson solitaire

You looked at me
as no one has ever looked before
with eyes lost in dance

And I swung you to
and dipped you fro
a wish complete (come true)

6 comments:

Autumn Storm said...

M has taken over the internet. (I can have the nighttime shift she tells me. :-D)

Sorry that it has taken me so long to begin a comment. I wonder what this might sound like in Hynerian. :-) Original language, for this to be this beautiful of sight and sound in translation.
The words swirl the senses like a heady aroma, permeathing through one, enclosing all the others, until what can only be compared to a drowning, pleasurable, immeasurably so, occurs and one feels almost drowsy, in a laying on warm sand basking in sunshine type of way, warm, relaxed, quietly joyful. Such a warm, melodic timbre, the alliteration in those first couple of stanzas is particularly noticable, copper coins tossed to begin, such a wonderfully resonating symbol-like opening, sun splayed, slash, wish, bows, smiles, just the sounds as those words are rolled across the tongue compel the corners of the mouth to rise. Your expression, talked about at length and not nearly enough, phrases such as wet with intent and We kissed in the sun so lovely in their direct simplicity, their faithful honesty, these are words to pause breath and heart alike. Before The Kiss, we knew, in The Kiss, we saw, poetic prose throughout these pages and here again, concentrated in fully-fledged poetry, shining starbright, dear poetic soul, making the world still more beautiful.
Love this chapter.

Trée said...

In the original Hynerian, they sound like music. As always happens in translation, a little something is lost. :-)

Kimmie said...

Oh my, I am lost in my own emotions that you have instilled within me through your words in this chapter. Quite possibly my favorite thus far, and oh so lovely.

Trée said...

Kimmie, I think this is my favorite so far too. I like the lightness, the imagery and the overall positive feel of this one.

j said...

"A wish complete".... lovely.

I am sending Christmas warm wishes to you Tree. I hope that today will be for you, a wish complete.

Merry Christmas my Friend.

Yours, Jen-nay :)



psst... the house is quiet, the Christmas tree is glowing, the presents from Santa are under the tree waiting for joy to be found in the morning... nice scene, huh? Life is good.

Trée said...

Thank you Jen-nay. :-)

And yes, that is a lovely and evocative scene you have painted. I can see it as clear in my mind as I imagine it is in your heart. Merry Christmas to you and yours on this glorious, magical day. Hugs.