intense anxiety (family/holiday/finances)--diarrhea and nausea resulting from stress--fitting for the last day of the year from hell--have to smile--still, I am thankful that my internal mood/wellbeing remains steady/strong/healthy--there is no darkness originating from within the brain, which is remarkable considering that the current stress makes reading impossible and eating undesirable
anxiety under control with meditation--an old practice that has always paid dividends that I abandoned when times were good--I continue to watch my brain, my internal compass and regulation and I am thankful and grateful, circumstances aside, my mind feels grounded, rooted in the storm--humility feels good--to resist not my failings and weaknesses--nor to judge them--my anxiety keeps me company, a trusted companion--a teacher--kind and gentle with the lesson--waiting for me to acknowledge and accept--willing to stay with me for as long as necessary--how many friends can we say that about
12 comments:
My dearest friend. I am here holding your hand, holding you. As you say today is the last day of a year from hell. Tomorrow starts anew. Take care.
Continued thoughts and Prayers!!!
TIGHT HUGS...I promise not to let go.
Sigh
Love
H
Things look worse on the page than I think they are. I'm very excited about my emotional health. If I can find work soon, I'll be in good shape. I am grateful for the lessons unemployment and lack of money teach. After ten months I see the world differently than before. We didn't have much to "give" by way of presents this xmas, but I'd have to say, it was perhaps the best xmas I've had in some time. I liked the fact that the focus had to be on family and not on how many presents were under the tree. Don't get me wrong--if we had had the money we would certainly have spent more, but necessity was a nice gift in and of itself.
Sometimes my postings appear darker than they are because I've made the commitment to document everything I feel, without edit or filter, so one gets a look inside my mental/emotional world that one would rarely get to see. My desire is to create as accurate a record as I can, within my abilities to do so and often what gets noticed and recorded is the negative, which can skew the impression.
All said, thanks for the hugs and Happy New Year!
How brave you are to keep sharing your process. It's also so nice to read all the comments from your loving friends. Have a Happy New Year!
Thanks Kass. Happy New Year to you too!
Through these last ten months you have come, bringing with you the lessons, the experience, having left some baggage behind perhaps to replace with something more useful. Your tomorrows will be better days for having travelled through hellish yesterdays. You sound good, great, despite some present circumstances. A belief, positive and expectant as can only be the best way to start any day, including this day. May you be blessed, larger, greater, in 2010. Love and hugs.
Its a New Year Ms Storm. From where I stand, everything is looking up. ;-)
"Rooted in the storm." Everything in this post seems to point towards this -- despite the "hell" you have found a strong position to work from. That itself is a huge achievement. Wishing you all the best for 2010 Trée.
Hi !
How are you?
Have not been here for a long time.
Looks like a lot has changed over here!!
I sincerely wish you THE VERY BEST LIFE HAS TO OFFER in the coming decade.Happy 2010 !!
(*_*)
Uma
hugs and love to you, Tree.
--snow
Thank you Snow. Sending hot chocolate your way. :-)
Uma, so very, very nice to see you again after so long an absence. Life has been a challenge this past year but I am still here and still moving forward, maybe a little slower, but still alive. :-)
All the best to you in this New Year!
Ian, wishing you too all the best in 2010. Thanks for stopping by.
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