completely normal upon waking--anxiety intense (employment/money issues) but mood is clear, steady--sensation on crown of head remains as from the first day--music and poetry remain other than before but closer to premed status than a few weeks ago--sexual function is within an acceptable range, which is to say everything is working as it should, although the meds continue to make orgasm slightly more difficult than before and it is clear why anti-depressants have been used to treat premature ejaculation
on the eve of seven weeks, the meds are all but transparent and unless I knew I was taking them, I think it would be hard to know that anything was operating on cognition and perception--I am aware of changes in music and poetry and sexual function only because I have watched so closely--if I had simply woken today with no knowledge of taking meds, I don't think I would give much notice to these slight changes as they exist today--my personality remains somewhat detached from emotional minefields; and circumstances that in the past would have created turmoil are handled without consternation, and as mentioned before, on an analytical and logical level more so than an emotional plane--my emotional register remains truncated on both the top and bottom end, although I am not certain to what extent--the range appears to be expanding, albeit more slowly than a few weeks ago
stress continues to grow through the day (holiday stuff)--rather intense--feel physically ill--I mention this only in relation to mood/illness/darkness--stress notwithstanding, mood remains unaffected--my stomach is in knots, yet attitude/mood/well-being/mental state is perfectly normal/steady--external stress and inward mental health may overlap, but in my case, the overlap is so small as to be insignificant and I would even venture there is no overlap at all
12 comments:
holiday-related stress also here, too much to do, too many people to see!
thinking of you, sending you my warmest of wishes for the New Year, big, big hug!
Thanks Roxana. Wishing you the Happiest of New Years! Returning the big hug. :-)
The holidays seem to add stress to everyone. They are almost over, then a new year will begin. I am confident that the "New Year" will be a "better" year. However, looking back at the year, even with the downside, there were many good things. I'm sure this is true with you also. With the New Year you will get a new job and your financial situation will become more tolerant and your stress level will become more tolerable.
Wishing you all the best in the New Year.
Love always
Thoughts and Prayers
TIGHT HUGS
hH
I believe strongly in rhythm, in timing, in symmetry and in readiness, and though tonight at 00.00 is merely a minute, there is significance in beginnings, a new decade, a new year, a new day. Reading your posts these last couple of weeks, there has very much been a sense of change, of newness and renovation, of approach. My intuition tells me many things about this year ahead for you, but to list them would sound merely like wishes. And I do wish for you all that your heart desires. Happy New Year, sweet heart, x
Thank you Ms Storm. Happy New Year to you too!
LotL, with as many challenges as this year has brought, I am still thankful for all that I have. As I document my experience on meds, it may not seem that way, but in the back of my mind, I know I am more fortunate than most. Wishing you a very Happy New Year!
Tree, the holidays put us all in an unnatural place and so now, on the 'eve of the New Year, which really is nothing at all but a calendar construct, we'll leave this behind us and get back to normal. I laugh. Normal. For any of us normal is such a fluctuating thing.
much love, Tree
happy new year
xo
erin
T- Take a look at matthieuricard.org, the website for my new favorite monk. And may 2010 bring better times for all of us - be brave, my friend. That's what I tell myself on a regular basis.
Victoria, thanks for the link. Looking forward to exploring his site. All the best my friend.
Erin, I like your kind of normal. Makes me feel at home. Take care of yourself. Love, hugs and kisses.
Your stress is understandable. Wishing you continued healing through the New Year.
Thanks Judy. Happy New Year!
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