Dr X removed the bandages with the care of a grandmother unwrapping a gift. Em blinked, her lids moving in morse. "I can't see," she said, the words as cannon shot, the standing, floored, shock echoing in ringing ears, limbs frozen by minds in retreat. "I can't see," she repeated, as if in the repeating someone would say something in debate. Silence alone, however, minded the gap between thought and word, cruel as night upon the cold.
"Look straight ahead Em," said Dr X, holding a canary finger, honeysuckle sweet, before her pugish nose. "What do you see?"
"Shapes. Colors. Everything is blurry."
"Okay."
"Okay what?"
"How many fingers do you see?"
"None."
"Okay."
"Okay what?"
"Okay, I need a minute. Trev, can you excuse us?"
15 comments:
Oh my. All pent up, to open her eyes and see nothing, how well you have put across what she must be feeling, the repetition and the expectaton that someone will deny what she reports, challenge her perception so to speak, and yet it is not quite nothing, she sees shapes, colours, and so the thought becomes whether her eyes are just in need of a period of adjustment...
Dr X appears almost casual in his 'okays', as though he were expecting it, or rather were things quite as bad as Em fears, they would not be leaving her alone this way. Maybe, maybe not, maybe I just hope for happy endings, hoping for it here too, but to summarize, that first part, a little piece of excellence.
It is OK - here eyes are just becoming accustomed or... it is psychological... right?!
her not here! :]
Ooooooo....you just love to tease us...
Anticipation is simply too much fun hanging on the edge of my seat dripping with excitement.
I, too, am thinking positively.
It's gotta be like when you get a cast off and using your leg again hurts cos you haven't used the muscles in so long.
You EXPECT that it's gonna come off and you can just start hopping and jumping and dancing around the room....but no, that's just not how it works.
Anyhow, I don't think I wanna get my hopes up TOO much over here, cos one never knows with you....
Maybe Dr. X just has some fun things he'd like to DO with that honeysuckle sweet finger of his, and wanted some privacy...you know...alternative healing methods and so forth.
Oh no! Really? Come on, master of the story...please let her SEE! But the good Dr. seems calm. And then again, how else would he act; Wail, moan, and nash his teeth like I would like to do right now? And is Trev in the room or outside the door? Poor Em. Jennifer
Strumper, have you been reading the archives? You know, Dr X has a history of taking a little literary license with his patients. Just ask Mairi. :-D
Jen, Trev was in the room when the bandages came off. I think Em is going to see again. Keep in mind, she chose to go the mechanical route. I have a feeling the good Dr just needs to make a few calibrations. :-)
Miladysa, you are always one step ahead of me, just as a good woman should be. ;-)
I did not know this, Tree.
But, you know...
...you tell a girl his fingers are 'honeysuckle sweet' and an imagination like mine just starts a racin'.
And I think I've told you that I like Dr. X before, but was weary because of comments that were made about him.
Seeing as I don't know everything about The Story and am still learning...I was going to listen to the comments!
But, I still kind of dig on 'im.
Sssshhh...don't let the Hood that though!
Strumper, you might want to check out this chapter: Dr Goldenhair Surprise
Enjoy my blogger babe of walnut and butterlicious delight. Is that a Chevy Van . . . :-D
I LOVED that Chapter!!!
Yeah, definitely don't let the Hood in on my crush on Dr. X.
Cos it's starting to grow.
Strumper, I thought you'd like this one. I'm just telling you, don't sell the Dr short. :-D
Have a good trip, Poppet, take care of those monkeys, couldn't be without neither one of them. Missing you already, x
A few edits to tighten up the prose and add a touch of clarity. Enjoy.
How very well you have conveyed her disappointment and fear.
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