On the day prior to Karaoke, Von and Zoe spend the entire day together. Below is the first of what I hope are many snippets of that conversation:
Von: Tell me how you met my son?
Zoe: (with a tear filled smile she searched Von's face as if to judge his capacity for what she was about to say) I was walking one rainy morning to the center. The streets were crowded, gray with mindlessness. I watched an old female hynerian slip and fall. I started to move toward her when the utter heartlessness of the crowd, like a river flowing pass a boulder, bypassed her. She looked up, rain in her face, hair white, wet, sticking to her languid cheeks. I watched her hand rise, fingers outstretched; and I watched in shock as leg after leg brushed her hand aside. I was too far to see the look on her face. I was too frozen to move, my mind racing, wondering, is this what we have come to. (Zoe paused)
Von: (sitting patiently, his eyes nova intense, his mind Tao focused) Please continue.
Zoe: She was dressed in a gray overcoat and wore a black cap. Then as if the sea swallowed her whole, she disappeared within the calloused wave of indifference. I dropped my bags and started running, bouncing off of irritated faces as if spume off implacable breakers. When I reached the spot where she had fallen, she was gone.
Von: (lifts chin, eyes rolling along the bottom of his quivering rims)
Zoe: I looked left and right. Nothing. Then I heard a voice, his voice. I couldn't make out the words, but the tone was unmistakable and I watched in awe as the sea of grey parted before his words as if he were Janus himself, and the faces of indifference stood stuck like broken clocks. And from that parting I saw him, jaw set, arms held as a lift, and cradled to his chest was that old hynerian, her arms wrapped around his neck, her eyes looking up in supplication, apparently as in shock as I was. I knew right then, in that dying world, there was hope. And, as strange as this is going to sound, I knew, there walked the father of my child.
Von: (looked down as if her words were a sacred blessings)
Zoe: So I followed him and I watched from a distance. As he succored the one in his arms, my heart beat as such to ache, as if the vision was but a dream and I felt a fear, a fear that if I blinked, all before me would disappear. And then--
Von: What?
Zoe: And then he turned, saw me standing as if my feet were nailed to the floor and called out. You know what he said?
Von: (shook head)
Zoe: He said, "Hey, I could use some help over here." And you know what, he was looking right at me. I'll never forgot that look of love in his eyes as he knelt over the one before him. And you know what else?
Von: Tell me.
Zoe: (with tears in her eyes) I see that same look right now.
50 comments:
The world you paint with your words is so clear and the people so beautiful. In so few posts already I know these people, though I know very little of their history, and I love them.
My weekend is coming to a close. I'll go home now and my computer will likely stay in its carry bag till Monday morning. Have a good rest of the weekend.
Wamblings, travel safe and stay warm. Your very kind words are very much appreciated. It is hard for me to see my characters as others do, almost as if they are too close to me for me to see them accurately. For the most part, I like to create a story and characters that I like spending time with, and as such, the story unfolds. See you Monday. I'll have the tea ready. :-)
Amazing images - this one looks like another piece of jewellery [I collect *grin*] and I love the 'blue film clip' image in the header.
For some reason, and this is not the first time, I cannot separate Hynerians and Romans in my imagination when I picture these scenes.
Love the river, sea, wave etc. references!
Not for the first time I picture the writer as a former sailor/marine/naval connection - I don't know why - I have an image on you on a boat or ship! lol
Miladysa, your kind comments are always much appreciated. Thank you. :-)
I agree with Wamblings on so many levels. You are an expert at finding the intensity of character depth that I know I crave (and assume others do too) when becoming engulfed by a story. I can tell you that if I'm in love with the characters, I am hooked immediately.
Have a great weekend, Tree and I will talk to you soon.
And thank you so much for you comment about Snickers--it really meant a lot to me.
--snow
I've made it safely home and managed a few minutes to peek in before I head off to sleep. It was fun seeing the big printing presses at the newspaper. Absolutely amazing actually. (alliteration :P ) Anyway it was very cool and I think I'll be back to the paper with my recital "article" somewhat edited for the local paper. Anyway, I've decided which way to jump on the writing contest I have to finish off in the next three weeks so I might not be hanging out very much online while I churn out the permitted 6,000 (or 5,000 depending on which part of their website you read) words.
Thank you Snow. I have to "feel" a chapter to be motivated to write it. I knew I wanted the meeting between Zoe and Ceru to be something like what we see here, but this morning, I was watching the official video for The Pretender (Foo Fighters) and the combination of the music along with the visuals, well, this chapter just popped in my head by the time I had finished. Ten minutes later it was on the blog. I wish I could capture what I felt when I wrote it, the emotion coursing in my veins--sometimes I think I live a very solitary life in that few seem to see what I see or feel what I feel. I will tell you this, when I write a chapter like this one, it is not with dry eyes. And I make no apologies for that. :-D
Please keep me updated on Snickers. C has had a very similar challenge for the last several years and we have not found a solution other than to hope and pray he grows out of it. So far, we aren't making much progress.
Wamblings, welcome home. I'll throw the blanket in the dryer to warm and fix a little special nite-time brew for a fellow blogger. As for being online, no worries, I'll leave the light on. Been here three years and counting. Don't plan on leaving anytime soon. :-D
Now this I can understand. "gray with mindlessness" I really love that. She seems to be developing a father/daughter relationship with Von (right? very inoccent and the reference to what she sees in his eyes is definitely NOT sexual, right? just making sure...) and laying the ground work for an awesome relationship, grandparental, for her unborn child. I like tender scenes like this, and it gives me a warm, cozy feeling. Now, I am going back to where I left off last night with the Hood. Jennifer
Jennifer, you are absolutely right in that the relationship between Von and Zoe will forever be daughter to the grandfather of her child--and nothing more than that. When I wrote that last bit, I wrote it from the point of view of what Von would want to hear--which is to say, he would want to know that his son was just like him and that his son was everything he had taught him to be. Zoe gives him that with that comparison at the end. When I think of my own son, I am always most proud when someone points out one of his good qualities and says "he is just like his father." So, that was what I was trying to do here. I do see where it could be seen the other way (especially with the way I write at times), but this is a purely, 100% face value sentiment expressed. Thanks for giving me a chance to make that clear. And, as always, thanks for those very kind words. I really enjoyed writing this one yesterday morning. :-)
I love this picture. It's lovely. I love how the bright colors stand out against the black.
Thanks Marsha. I rendered this same image in shades of red and pink--we may see that one in the story some time down the road, if the baby is a girl. ;-)
You did a great job of making this an acutely intense conversation. I was eager for each word as it came. Can't wait for more!!
Thanks Jane. My heart can only take so many of these kinds of chapters and I need a break. :-D
Always nice to see you stopping by. Your writing of late has been nothing short of spectacular. Thank you for sharing your talent.
Hi Tree.
The pictures on your blogs are really creative and unique. I loved this story, in just a few lines you conjured up a vivid image of the whole scene. Great stuff to check out on this blog.
Priyank, thank you for taking the time to leave a kind word. I've worked very hard to do two things which do not come easy--art and prose. I've been blessed with the greatest and most loyal readers who have showered me with encouragement for a very long time. One day I will find the words to express my gratitude in equal measure. :-)
You have such a way with conveying emotion in this post.
The fractal reminds me of wisps of hair and fading thoughts. Great combination.
Cléa, you have nailed my thoughts on the image, which is, in my mind, how I see Zoe, or at least her hair and the love radiating from her heart. As always, your comments, as a writer yourself, are very endearing. Thank you C. :-)
The world you paint with your words is so clear and the people so beautiful. as Wamblings said. There it is, right there, the essence of what is so lovable about your writing. Your scenes are so easy to imagine, like a remembered dream rather than something see in the here and now, not every detail one would be able to recount, but the things most of us would notice and remember, these are what are felt more so that seen. The expressions, the intonations, the atmosphere, the exchanges, it is as if for a moment one enters into that character, sees what they see, feels what they feel and has the thoughts that they have, or at least the imagined. :-D One changes here between then and now, between Zoe and Von and the two merge into such a heightened sense of emotion, so beautifully written and laid out, so that it is a memory and a first time hearing of the events at the same time. The last days of Hyneria and the kind of fear that ensued is difficult to imagine, how insular individuals would become, difficult for most to find any room left over for compassion, for thinking about others when there are loved ones, spouses, children, oneself to worry about. All to easy I think it would be to lose those things and you show this so exceptionally well, also for the plain fact that these are regular Hynerians, a large group of them and everyone of them passes the fallen female without so much as a backward glance. How near must the end be for them to have lost all sense of compassion and fellow-feeling, how little must they feel that a life matters when the end is so near. What this passage reminded me of is ourselves, and I'm sure all of us have seen this for it happens too often that someone needs help and too many pass by, and there is that feeling of dismay and shock that Zoe feels, again so wonderfully described, realizing that nobody is going to help and feeling frozen by it, almost as if wishing, hoping that she will not have to be the one, that those around, someone, will feel as she does and stop to help. And then there, in the midst, not only does someone stop, but they pick her up, take her with them, and here again, the image is just touches to the core, and just to give you once again the physical effects of what your writing does to a person, my eyes closed, my hands raised thereto, a smile spead, tears fell, my heart ached and rejoiced, shivers went up my spine and I kid you not about any of this though it seems so silly almost writing it down here, but the depth of your characters, the pure goodness of Ceru and of Zoe when they are faced with the same fate, knowing Von is listening to this recollection, listening with all that he is consumed with the love for his son, whom he will never speak to again, whom he has just had to say goodbye to, listening to the woman that his son loved and whom loved him and is carrying his son's son, the thought of what is felt in Von's heart, what is felt in Zoe's heart and what that elderly Hynerian must have felt when someone finally came to her aid, so close to complete and utter dejection and then to be lifted, like a child (beautifully evocative image), protected, loved, your writing does things to me that are so much more 'silly' than the things listed here. From your heart to your fingers and the words as they float off the page make a beeline straight to the heart of the reader, or at least this reader and the others who have left such wonderful comments here also. I meant to talk about that image of Ceru, of him walking through the sea of grey and I missed it somewhere above, but gosh. Gosh. The great love that Von feels, and Zoe, the book of letters and the discussion of their parting, the scene where Ceru meets with Papa, and again 'just' because the love that Von feels has filled so very much, Ceru immediately embedded himself deep within one as one read about him, and now, to watch them share, to know that his unborn child is present, to know that he will not, but that in their hearts he will continue - the beauty is indescribable and I have babbled long enough. I loved this so much!
Dear Trée,
What exquisitely emotional writing, only possible from a soul whose values are equally exquisite.
This after reading no further than your first entry. My passion for fractals as well as the word makes yours a blog-to-die-for!
Thank you so much.
Constance, your comment touches my heart as few do--I'm not sure exactly why and I've learned not to question these things, but to accept without resistance. Thank you. The gift is mine. Please come back and visit me again. See you soon. And one day, I want to see those beautiful hands. :-)
Tree,
I live in a really big city.
I really big, SLIPPERY city.
Amongst all the hustle and bustle when downtown, there is almost always someone sliding around in the slush and falling down.
It always amazes me that most people pass the person right up and let them fend for themselves in the grey sloshiness.
I always stop and ask people if they are alright if they've fallen. And more especially try to make them even just FEEL better about falling on their ass in front of a Loop full of people. Some little quip or something to make someone laugh goes a long way when you are feeling like an ass.
It's not quite the same thing as a fallen elderly woman on a dying planet, but when another person stops with me to talk to the person who fell, I always make sure to look right in their eye. Cos I want to see into the soul of people who are truly that kind, because they are so rare.
I've never had the 'oh, he's gonna be the father of my children feeling' and that's not really what I'm lookin' for, but when most people are too involved in their own little worlds to stop for just a second when someone falls in the snow...it really makes you feel sad, so it's nice to experience a moment with someone who's not like that.
Anyway, once again, you paint a world that I wish existed in my reality. I don't know people who are this close with their families and go out of their way to form relationships like this with loved ones. I wish I had something like that in my life. I come from a pretty fucked-up family so when I read your amazing shit, it's so foreign to me that all I can do is tear-up out of a simple longing for it to be even a smidgen of what my reality might one day be.
I want to have the sort of compassion and love that is created here upon the canvas that is your blog with the most heartfelt of brush-strokes.
Strumper, when I read a comment like yours, I feel as if the entire story has been worth the time and effort and that the continuance of the story is as much a duty as a right. Your comment speaks to me and the childhood I had and my own family situation. Let me just say, when I read what you have written, there is more of me than not that knows what you are saying. My overwhelming desire is to tell you to breathe out so that I might breathe you in (with or without the wisconsin butter). I want to hug you and be hugged, not with words or arms or tears but with hearts and souls and love. The universe I've created here, starting with the bedrock of the story (the relationship between Kyra and Papa), is me creating the world as I know it can be, as I know it should be. Notice I didn't say "as it is or was" but as it can be. What I did not have as a son, I have given to mine, and what I did not receive, I have given.
I write this story for my son. He doesn't read it now, and that's okay, but there will come a time when he turns to my blog and the images and the chapters and the lessons and the audio and the video and he will see, that all along, I have been speaking to him, sharing with him, giving him a piece of me that I know not how else to give. I may not be around when he finally reads it but I have a vision of him reading in bed one night and his wife leans over and asks him why he is crying, and he says, as Kyra wrote in the book on Luin, "my 'dad' wrote this.
I am in love with your writing skills. :-D Can I steal it for my English class? haha! The picture is amazing! And how do get so many comments?! I'm a bit jealous...
Evening Jennifer. If you can teleport me into your computer, I might be able to help. ;-)
The compliment is very much appreciated. Thank you. :-)
As for comments and commenters, over the history of the story they have come and gone. I've had times where several people are following the story and commenting (like now) but I've also had long stretches where the comments on a post are few. When I started blogging, I lived for the comments and in the high water mark of blogging a few years ago, I had a lot of readers. Then, blogging as a whole seemed like it had run its course or at least the crowd I was blogging with, and my comments dwindled to just a few per post and stayed that way for quite a while.
I have, however, had a handful of very loyal and faithful readers and for that I am eternally thankful, for I know, in the blink of an eye, they could decide to move on and it would be just me and my blog again. So, I do my best to always show appreciation and I try to respond to each and every single comment. Over the last three years, I have responded and engaged 99.9% of the comments left on my chapters. I believe the heart of blogging is what I call "engaged interaction" and I love building relationships with other bloggers all over the world. I do believe in taking a sincere interest in the bloggers who engage me and I visit their blogs, I read their posts, and I try to leave comments that are positive, engaging, and sometimes, with judgment, playfully flirtatious. I believe blogging should be fun--a place to come to at the end of the day where one "wants" to come, to relax, enjoy meaningful fellowship, and share a shoulder for those who need one (our cancer fighting team Bravo, serves that purpose as much as the research).
Keep blogging, keep being real, engage others in a sincere and genuine way, and in time, you will find some very loyal readers, and, I hope, some very great friends too.
As always, thanks for taking the time to visit and leave such positive feedback. Thanks Jennifer. :-)
You know, Tree, the biggest tear that will probably be shed is when he reads that very comment!
And it will be a tear of so much happiness that you have given him.
You have got to be the best dad ever, dude.
The happiness and love that you give will continue on for generations to come, through your little guy, and his little guys.
Your story gives me much, Tree.
But, most especially, it gives me HOPE.
xoxo
and
:-D
...with butter.
Sweetest, your comments are the air in my blogging life. I don't know how else to say it. For twenty six months, as faithful as the rising sun, you have visited and engaged and encouraged without fail, on every single chapter (and we aren't even talking about the labor of love you have poured into the fansite). I'm running out of ways to say thanks. :-)
As for the writing, well, I always feel as if it could be so much better, so much more vivid, so much more alive. I know what I see in my mind and what I feel in my heart and I know what is written on the page and the two are, for me, not the same. The series of chapters on The Book of Letters, which I conceived in a rain of tears on the drive back from Atlanta, and the reason I did the video commentary, was to try and capture what it seemed had slipped through my fingers, and still, the commentary, by the time I did it, lacked the power--in part because I was drained by having lived it for the previous forty-eight hours. In short, the writing can get better and it will get better and one day, I will write a chapter that makes you wet your pants and your cheeks simultaneously. :-D
Watch the official music video of the Foo's The Pretender. That is the energy I felt when this chapter was written--in fact, it was what I was listening to and what triggered the inspiration. :-)
Strumper, I'm heading to the fridge for butter. I'm grabbing two sticks. I'll leave it there for your imagination. :-D
You are making me smile all over again, just so you know. :-)
You have to save me a stick, Tree!
=P
Strumper, I buy in bulk from Costco. So no fear when it comes to QST. :-D
Man,
I need a fucking CostCo card.
I freaking love CostCo.
But, I only go there with my Mom.
You wanna go to CostCo with me, Mr. Tree?
We'll buy one BIGASS bag of frozen peas.
It'll be fun.
Strumper, it's a date. :-D
SWOONING!
:-D
` Strumpet - it's not 'fucking', its not 'freaking', it's frailing!!!
Thank you S E E Quine. Correction always comes better from a woman. :-D
Strumper, you can bless my hide later for that one. With or without the Wisconsin butter but I insist you play No One Knows in the act. :-D
Thats such a lovely dialect! She sees a bit of his father in him. They have the same heart. She loves the father of her child and she loves where he came from. Its beautiful xx
Thanks Elise. You're seeing exactly what I saw. We may not have Ceru but we have Von and Zoe and the baby to be and between the three of them the void will be filed. :-)
Somtimes a girl's just gotta say 'fuck.' =P
I say 'frailing' sometimes!
And sometimes I gotta get my 'freak' on....
Variety gets me hot and wet.
And here at DT, I always have that additional frailing option and that fucking rocks my freaking world.
We have had many a discussion about my use of the word 'fuck,' Tree, so I know you are just saying that to get me all riled up.
It's working.
So, on your knees, Mr. Tree.
No butter for YOU.
Think you're ready for me?
And damn frailing straight QOTSA's gonna be on!
Fuck yeah.
Get home safe and we'll talk about what we're gonna do with your frailing hide...
In the meantime, I'll be in the frozen produce aisle.
Pick up some string.
Sidenote: When SeeQuine corrects me, I also get all hot and wet.
one day, I will write a chapter that makes you wet your pants and your cheeks simultaneously. Who says that hasn't happened already. :-) All I can say is, I shall not doubt that you can get better, you have proved that you can add to perfection many times before and make it only more so and that when the day comes when you do write that promised chapter, well, given the reactions that you get now, I'm not sure any of us will recover.
Big love to you, sweet pea, watch the road and have a good journey.
Hello my friend! I answered you over at my place. I was checking in to see if you were safely home and spinning pure gold on your site. I'll check in again later - I have to get the kiddos to Karate just now. Keeping you all in my prayers - Jen
Hi Tree,
Your imagery is captivating and I find myself feeling as though I have missed half the ball. That first paragraph was absolutely delish. I'll be lingering :)
Take care,
Dena
Dena, this ball is just getting started. I haven't told anyone this, but my goal is for The Story to exceed one million words. Right now, at just over 180k, this story is sitting at a very green 18%. :-D
Thank you for those very kind words. Hope to see you stopping by again. Comments are always welcomed and engaged. :-)
Wonderful words..I see the folks, I feel the rain..and the chill..
Smiles, Deena
Jennifer, thanks for checking in on me. Just arrived home after a quick eight and a half hour drive thanks to Jackson Browne (Solo Acoustic Vol.1) and The Foo (Skin and Bones). :-D
Lots of ideas for chapters played out in my head on the drive. I might post a "preview" of things to come, which would be a first in the story, and if there is anything I like, it is continuing to do new and different things. Stay tuned. :-)
Hard saying goodbye to my granny today knowing I will probably not see her alive again. Her face was like two glassy eyes in a deflated saddlebag. Still, she seemed to recognized me and I was able to tell her I loved her. Thank you for the thoughts and prayers.
Deena, so very nice to see you stopping by. I've been on the road all day. Please forgive me. I'm on my way for the night shift. My body may tire but my heart and spirit know no such limitations. Thoughts and prayers my dear beacon of courage, a light unto the darkness. Love and hugs. :-)
Sweetest, I drove faster than I should have, but I was anxious to get home and sleep in my own bed again and work out of my own study. One day, what I see in my mind and feel in my heart will make it to the story with as little separation as possible. Oh, and there was a little something waiting for me when I got home. :-D
Strumper, there are many bloggers but there is only one Strumpet; and she is a Frailing Blogger! :-D
Pick up some walnuts while you are there. I'll explain later. :-D
Ahhhh....walnuts....
I've been getting turned on lately just going grocery shopping.
'I am Strumpet.
And I fucking blog.'
You were close.
You must REALLY not want me to use butter....
=P
And, yes, that's my tongue.
Ah! I see strumpie & seequint here :D
There goes the father of my child.
That is very significant. Women have a strange instinct of knowing that...I think They ARE nature's contrivance for perpetuating its behest ( Used that line second time today :D)
Mona, I very much agree with you. Women are, without a doubt, the superior sex.
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