“What’s wrong Rog?” asked Yul. Rog lay still, staring at the ceiling. “Talk to me baby.”“I don’t know what to say,” said Rog.
“Say something, anything. Let me in that mind of yours.”
“Door’s always open.”
“Then show me that door, because I can’t seem to find it.”
“I’m sorry darlin’.”
“What are you sorry for?”
“Just haven’t been myself since—“
“I know. Talk to me. Tell me what you saw.”
“I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“I don’t know what I saw. I don’t know what I felt.”
Twirling Rog's hair, “Go on baby.”
Silence.
“I can’t help you if you won’t let me.”
Rog sighed.
“Let me help you baby.”
“She loved him.”
“I think we all knew that.”
“I don’t think you understand.”
“Explain it to me then.”
“What I saw and what I felt,” Rog just shook his head, “Yul, I couldn’t begin to tell you.”
“Try Rog. For me, try.”
“The room filled with an energy I can’t explain. Kyra glowed. So did Kieran. The light was blinding. The energy flowed toward me, over me.”
Rog stopped.
“Go on hon.”
“Ever see someone cry tears of blood?”
“What?”
“She was losing him. She cried tears of blood.”
“Are you sure?”
“Not sure of anything anymore.”
“What does that mean?”
“I felt those tears.”
“What are you saying?”
“I can’t explain it. I felt those tears and they ripped my heart wide open.”
“We all cared deeply for them both. I under—“
“NO! You don’t understand because I can’t explain what it meant to be in that room. Let me put it this way. I saw light. I felt light. Yul, do you hear what I am saying.”
Yul sat up in bed. Her playful look gone. “Baby, have you talked to Trev about this?”
“He wouldn’t know anymore what I’m talking about than you do.”
“Give him a chance, maybe he can help.”
“Fuck. Help what. What the fuck do you think he can help with? Tell me Yul.” Rog rolled out of bed and walked to the panoramic view. Fully nude the Hynerian was nothing short of a specimen. Starlight highlighted every ripple of hard flesh.
“Rog, I’m just trying to help.”
“You don’t understand because I don’t understand. But I will tell you this, and mark my words, what I saw, what I felt . . .”
Rog stopped.
“Go on hon.”
“Don’t know how. Damn it. I don’t know how to shake this thing. Do you hear me Yul?”
Yul moved to the edge of the bed, hesitating to walk over. “I’m here.”
“What would you think if I told you I saw darkness?”
“I don’t understand hon, I thought you said you saw light.”
“I did. I saw light. I felt light. And when—“
Rog ran his hands through his hair, grabbing a handful.
“When the light receded, I felt a void, a darkness.”
“Maybe the light affected your eyes.”
“A darkness of absence, a darkness of heart. I felt it Yul.”
Yul looked concerned. This was not the carefree happy-go-lucky Rog she knew. Walking over she placed her arms around his torso pulling him tight to her. “I love you Rog and I can tell you without any doubt there is nothing dark in your heart. Do you hear me?”
Rog tried to smile as he placed his hands on hers.
“I don’t know how to explain it. I’m not who I thought I was. I don’t know what I thought I knew. I can’t shake this feeling.”
Yul started to cry, her tears running down his back.
“I feel heavy,” said Rog. “Everything seems hard, everything is an effort and I’m just tired—all the time. Baby please don't cry.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t help it. Can we sit down?”
“Sure sweetie.”
“Hold me Rog.”
35 comments:
that is just stellar darlin
(so since you removed the disclaimer at the top, is this version the keeper? was trying to read earlier and talk on the phone at the same time, wasn't working, this needed my full attention LOL and now that I've read it with no distractions, its just fantastic! oh and love the description of Rog at the window, got a nice visual of that one goin on LOL)
**“Ever see someone cry tears of blood?”
that was very profound...cos I know I have cried those tears and I have seen someone else crying those tears too...
Ur writing gets deep into one's soul Tre...good work!
Glad to note that it's not clay any more so I commented :)
Keshi.
Wasn't planning on writing tonight. Was just about to go to bed early and for some strange reason this chapter popped out of my head in all of ten minutes. Since I was posting as I wrote I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out.
I was afraid when I was writing this one that it might be just a bit too dark, thus the disclaimer. Once I finished it and let it sit I decided I liked the little bit of complexity it gives Rog. I like knowing not everything goes well in his world. I also like the "expansive" experience the iso ward may have been for him. We may see a Rog with a bit more gravitas and perhaps see some interesting dynamics with Kyra now that they have had this shared experience and Rog has seen "the light" so to speak.
I will say this, he will never see Kyra quite the same way again--and that is a good thing.
So, the chapter stands.
Hey my solitary friend. I feel that I walk beside you on many of your postings, especially the one today. Thanks for your very sweet and kind words Keshi. I guess the clay has hardened. :-D
Fascinating and very emotive. You did that perfectly, brought across the confusion and the unknown and the trying to make sense of something that cannot be explained. Rog knows something now that few know and it's changed him, he's set apart - and though that may change later, at the moment, he comes across as wishing he could go back, he saw and felt too much and he cannot express it. I'm thoroughly intrigued by whether he was shown something of himself, or whether what he saw and felt just opened up some sort of new truth, a clarity I suppose, and he is just now on some other level than he was before.
I'm babbling of course, sure sign, that this was considered by me to be an absolutely amazing chapter. Excellent dialogue, I can't imagine a better job. That teacher from way back when should have the pleasure of reading these chapters.
Sweet dreams, handsome storyteller.
PS The frac is great, an old favourite.
Really, really intriguing path you're taking here. I am fully engrossed, and can't wait for whatever is going to follow...
Very fine writing Trée.
morning sweetie, happy wednesday, hope you have a great day :0)
Good morning :-)
Afternoon Sunshine. :-)
Have I told you how much I appreciate your detailed comments that get under the hood of the story and the characters. I know what I know, but I am delighted to no end to hear and read and see what you and others think about the same chapter and what it means.
I know how much you like Rog and I was a bit worried you wouldn't like this reflection of him, so I am much relieved this morning. I do think his experience takes us down a different path of his personality and allows us to explore and get to know more of what makes him tick. He seems much more real to me after this chapter than before.
Morning Tube. :-)
Thanks Deb. The last few chapters have tried to move the story off of the "sweet" plane and onto other dimensions of these characters. Everyone I know is complex and a contradiction to some degree. I want these characters to reflect that same sense of depth--good and bad--with a range of emotional reaction and response. I'd like them to have more options and a deeper, richer history. Thanks for noticing. :-)
Still fancy him rotten, no worries :-D
I think Rog needed to have a bit of angst in his life. He needs a few bumps and bruises to round him out and perhaps make him a little less predictable. I'll let him know how you feel. :-D
Speaking of which, wouldn't it be fun to introduce a guest character into the story, someone they meet along the way, that is actually a reader of this blog. Could be you. See, you could interact with Rog within the story as a character. Now how much fun would that be. :-)
Or, how bout this. We could do an interview between you and one of the characters. You travel to the island and can ask any questions you like from any one of the characters like a reporter for a major magazine.
Rog seemed quite ravaged by life anyway, certainly he has an edge that the other two male characters do not have (my impression), like he has seen a little more, experienced a little more, but these experiences are also what gives him have a better understanding of many things. Loyal and reliable, intelligent and witty :-) (sigh..lol) Predictable is not a word I would associate with him, not in any boring sense anyway.
Not sure I would do a good job as an interviewer :-), but both ideas certainly sound like a helluva lot of fun :-D
Having a great afternoon, I hope!
Sunshine, I share your view of Rog. Not sure the story told us this as much as perhaps our imaginations. But I think these last couple of postings are bringing the story in alignment with with who we think he is.
I envision that interview taking place over AIM. You ask the question and Rog answers. If we like how it goes, then we publish it as a chapter. Give it some thought. I too think that could be a helluva good time. Besides, if it's crap no one else will ever know and we still had a hulluva time. LMAO!
"Besides, if it's crap no one else will ever know" :-D
Have to say I think, it's less imagination and rather an impression that is gained from in between the lines but moulded by what we experience of people in life.
Just the manner in which he speaks, his wit and the energy, the choice of vocab and just seeing him interact with the others in the situations that have arisen so far, it all makes for a pretty extensive, if hard to explain in any great detail, impression of what kind of life he has led and what his values are. lol, listen to me, maybe it is just imagination and there was I thinking all the while I didn't have much of one :-D
This one was really moving, Tree. It's still happening in my head. Wonderful and amazing.
Thanks Liz. Always a pleasure to have you stop by. So glad to see you reading the story. May I get you some cookies or tea or both?
Sunshine, I think you have a wonderful imagination residing just in the back of that very sharp brain of yours. I do so enjoy reading your take on these chapters and your insights into the characters.
I'm just catching up - fabulous!! I love the fracs too. The one below reminds me of long strands of hair blowing in the wind. Freedom.
Happy hump day to you and Jack! *HUGS*
Good to see you again Karen. You got the one below just right--it's Yul's hair and she is a free spirit. :-)
Beautiful piece of solid clay ;-)
Have a blessed long weekend mate!
Keshi.
I'm undecided as to how this has impacted on me. I've been back twice and I'm stuck at crying "tears of blood".
Good morning, hope you have a wonderful Thursday, x
Chicky, keep in mind we still don't really know what happened in the iso ward. We only know what little Rog has told us, and he was like someone listening to a phone conversation, which is to say he only knows what he saw. What actually happened between Kyra and Kieran is still largely unknown.
In human terms, when one is under extreme pressure, the blood vessels in the eye will burst--I've seen this happen with Tour riders. What is uncertain and unknown at this point is whether what Rog saw was the result of extreme physical stress on the part of Kyra or whether the tears of "red" were the result of some other phemon we haven't learned about yet.
Rog's interpretation may or may not be correct.
Thanks for reading the story. I appreciate your feedback.
Thanks Keshi, I'm looking forward to it. Same to you dear. :-)
Afternoon Sunshine. All the best to you today. :-)
Powerful stuff ya got here. Its amazing what can come to the surface in such a short amount of time. These are the kind of chapters I like, the ones that go to the inside of the relationships between the characters. Nice work.
Meg
Thanks Meg. I could write the whole story from the inside of the ship and never venture beyond the interaction and relationship between the characters. I like the sci-fi/fantasy genre because it allows me to make stuff up and not be tied down to historical facts or circumstances but at the end of the day, walking through the doors of my characters' minds is what fascinates me the most.
Thanks for sharing your feedback. I like hearing what others like or don't like about a particular chapter or direction the story or character takes.
Have a great Easter weekend Meg. :-)
Thanks for the clarification, Tree.
You're welcome Chicky. I didn't want you getting upset over something not even known yet. Sometimes you have to take what Rog says with a little grain of salt. ;-)
I like that added depth of character you gave both Rog and Yul. The entire story you are writing touches me on so many levels it stays with me, makes some small change or adjustment in me that I didn't even know I needed. And am unable to quite put my finger on. Seems like more than a story. It feels like it has a life and energy of it's own.
Thanks Oliviah. Each post seems to take us deeper into the characters and the story. I'm learning about them just as you are and having the time of my life doing it. :-)
I read a couple at a time and then I need a break, short though they might be for I cannot stop once I start, a break to allow my heartbeat to slow back down to normal, to swallow past the lump in my throat, to delight in the warmth and smiles induced, to stay with them for a few moments where they are before they move on. I read and I feel it in my heart. Deeply touching, always. Again.
I felt those tears and they ripped my heart wide open.
Sometimes agonizing, sometimes pleasureful, each extreme as beautiful, it's touch as welcome, as the other.
For those moments spent reading, everything is here, beyond it too, sometimes for much longer than the next might consider sane, :-D, loving every minute knowing while there, every part is.
Magic. :-)
Post a Comment