Saturday, July 17, 2010

775. Aborted 2: no map, no warning

Yul sighed, begin to tap her fingers, louder and louder, nail on wood. Rog ignored her, more omission than commission. He had done something, just what he didn’t know. But it was something. He started to speak, then stopped. Started again, stopped again. Every road looked the same and none of them familiar, none of them right. So he said nothing.

Their room, later, was as quiet as his mind was not. She laid with her back turned. He sat up searching for words that would never come. Wherever they were, he had no map and contrary to her version of events, no warning either.

5 comments:

Trée said...

Aborted chapters are chapters that just don't make it off the cutting room floor. Sometimes because of subject and plot direction and sometimes because of the writing. In this case, the latter. I post it as a way to let it go and mentally move on with the characters in question. In short, Yul knows what she has with Rog is not what Em has with Trev and it just isn't sitting well with her. Rog simply is not grasping the finer points of her sensitivities.

autumn said...

I beg to differ of course, :-),coming in clean, reading it as it stands, there are a great many particulars about this piece that make me very glad that you posted, even if your only reason was to move on.
Firstly, the sigh. Oh so telling and as such an excellent literary device. The nails tapping in addition and the scene becomes excruciating before it even begins...as you know, I have a particular fondness for Rog, the good and the 'bad', and his cluelessness not that something is wrong but what it might be, combined with the knowledge, fundamental, that he cannot ask, makes me feel bad for him.
There are particular phrases in this that I absolutely adore and that are the main reasons for the aforementioned gladness, the omission turn of phrase is excellent as is the last part of the post (map..) but I really, really love Every road looked the same and none of them familiar, none of them right. So he said nothing. You may not have captured precisely what you wanted to with this chapter, but you have certainly secured a wonderfully emotional tone.

Trée said...

I have missed your comments like one misses bread and water. You nourish me and from that sustenance, I find the strength to write again. Someone once asked whether your comments, so many and all so beautiful, ever got old. I need and needed only one word in reply: No. You are, my dearest Natasha, a gift to me. How else to say it. Thank you.

autumn said...

Entirely my pleasure. I hope you know, still and always, whenever I am not on here, I long to be. Apologies for being so far behind, hope to catch up over the course of today, xo

ghrency said...

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