Saturday, July 07, 2007

308. Patterns


"John," Sue whispered as if John's ears and not his eyes were damaged, "the commander will see you now." Standing, Sue took his arm, the two walking in slow step like mother and groom through the door to the solitary chair sitting quietly in front of the commander's large ornate desk. Pictures, a virtual who's who lined the walls between shelves of multi-colored tomes on topics of leadership and men, or war and not-war. John didn't need his eyes, the room breathed history, decorum, tradition, right and wrong, black and white. Taking a breath, the familiar smell of spit and polish mixed with buildings academic, which was to say of government issued paint. Go to any military base on the planet and that smell was there, unmistakably, like some warlike god had marked his hallow grounds. And with that smell came the memories, the shouts, the triumphs and disappointments, the long runs and crappy food. The smell was not just a smell, the smell was military life itself. The sounds would come later as would the images of sweat and blood, but before them all, was the masculine aroma of wood and metal, of cleanliness and government issue.

"Thank you Sue," said the commander. "That will be all."

John sat, his back upright at attention, bandages over his eyes. He heard the sound of a chair skirting across the floor, of heels clicking on wood, of papers lifted and placed, of heavily starched clothing resisting the tug and crease of measured movement. John marveled at how quickly his sense of hearing had developed, as if a whole world he had never taken notice of before was dancing before his mind, delighting in the attention as children before relatives. The commander breathed and John felt his heavy bulldog eyes settle into a pregnant gaze. Whether the commander paused for effect or simply because he didn't know what to say to his most decorated soldier, John could not tell. Either way, the silence was unnerving.

"John, as a career military man, I've been taught all my life to look for patterns, that patterns don't lie. Men lie. Men rationalize. Men plot and plan, scheme and dream and change their mind more often than women, but one thing remains true--the patterns of a man's life, the decisions he makes over time. Free will; that is bullshit. We aren't free. We are programed, from birth. Me, you, and everyone else on this god forsaken planet. You understand what I am saying?"

John shifted slightly in his chair. "Sir, I'm afraid I don't quite follow you."

The commander picked up a folder, flipped through it like a professor bored, and placed it back down on his desk. "I've known you for more than twenty years. Saw you graduate first in your class, the best fighter pilot our academy has ever produced. Then I saw you enter medical school. Graduate in three years with honors as a world class neuro surgeon before you reentered the academy and virtually rewrote our leadership training. I've got an entire filing cabinet of your exploits since. Not a single solitary blemish. On a personal note, I attended your wedding to Cait, was present at the birth of Ariel, and have enjoyed having you as our guest on many dinner occasions. You see John, I know your patterns. I know your choices. I know you inside and out, probably better than you know yourself. What you did John, fits no pattern that I know."

"Yes sir."

"You know, there are limits to how far I can go to protect you?"

"Yes sir, I understand."

"Damn it John, do you? Do you understand the trouble you are in? And I'm not just talking about your career or the thought of prison, I'm talking about Cait too. Do you know how many times she has come to me. Asking me what was going on and I had no answer? Do you know she loves you like you were the last man on world? Do you know the pain and anguish you have put her through? Not to mention Ariel."

John's head bows as the weight of a sigh forced itself free.

"Well? Do you son?"

"I do."

"I do? Is that it. I do? Care to elaborate? I'm all ears."

One hour later . . .

"So her name is Kyra."

"Yes sir."

"And I should believe all that you have said?"

"Sir, at the risk of sounding sarcastic, what does my pattern tell you?"

The commander stood up. Without taking his eyes off John he clicked his comm, "Sue. Come in here, right away."

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi!

Just Speechless

(*_*)

Uma

Getting hooked again

Trée said...

Oh Uma, so very, very, very good to have you back! :-)

Karen said...

That was powerful; although John made a huge mistake, he's man enough to take the punishment.

Damn triangles ;-)

*HUUGS* to you and Jack! I hope you two are having a great weekend.

Trée said...

Karen, I leave first thing in the morning for a week in Southern California--all business I'm afraid. Tonight, strangely enough, feels like a Sunday. Thank you for your kind words. Jack was most grateful this morning. :-)

Karen said...

It was my pleasure ;-)

Enjoy southern California! Too bad it's all business but I'm sure Jack will see to it that you have some fun. Have a safe trip and hurry back! Lots of HUUUGS!

Autumn Storm said...

Opening description was fantastic, the atmosphere grew more pregnant with each passing minute (each line) as we waited for those first words from the commander. The way you used his sense of smell and sound to convey the scene into which he entered, not only gave us some insight into what it must be like to be John at that moment, waiting to answer for the actions that he took, not being able to look his commander in the eye when he might need to most was so very, very nicely done. The weight of what repurcussions he might face on a personal level within his marriage and family life seemed more loaded somehow here, perhaps due to the fact that it is a third party, someone who knows them, cares, a friend, who is expressing such. Not for the first time, but definitely initiating the most serious consideration thus far in a single chapter, is the thought that John potentially will have caused some serious damage to his relationship with his wife and daughter and though he will (and I want to add 'of course') hopefully be able to make amends with them both, because he is genuine in his love and care, it will not be easy. As the commander said, this course of action did not fit his profile, it is not who he, or Cait (or Ariel) knows him to be, and so, though he may be able to explain Kyra (to summarize) to the Commander, doing so to Cait is not going to be quite as straightforward. Which is not to say that he didn't use that hour well.
Drawn to the part where the Commander spoke of the concept of Free Will not existing other than as a theory. Very much the case with most of us, though in theory every choice may be open to us, who we are determines the decisions that we make. Really liked that whole passage on patterns of behaviour and expectations, free will and that is/when a person does sway very much from their curve, everything else becomes questionalbe though little or nothing has really changed. A great piece of writing, and so perfectly befitting of the story. :-)

Trée said...

Sweetest, I'm sighing at how enjoyable it is to read your comments again. After a week like this week, when I have been away from the story completely and comments have been few and far between, it is moments like this that I could see the story just drifting away, as something that I did at one time but do no longer. Then, I come back today, and your comments, like a rope thrown to a man overboard, pull me back and I want to write again and get back into the wonderful world these characters live within. You, my dear, have more influence on this story than you know. If you were to go away, I'm not sure the story would survive. :-)

Autumn Storm said...

However long such a period would last, soon you would remember the enjoyment and satisfaction that comes from letting the words flow out onto the page. Though you may not once have believed it of yourself, you are a natural and a great, great talent, and as much as these characters have become a part of my life, it is thereby that I can begin to imagine how you must feel about them being they come from within you. I'm not worried, you love these guys and gals too much. And if I was, thank goodness, one thing above all else is certain, DT is stuck with me. For better or worse. :-D

Trée said...

Sunshine, those are words to make me grin--wide. :-D