Ed note: The following bits and pieces surfaced on the flight yesterday. They may or may not have happened in the story. The image is what I call "Place Your Bets," an allusion to which bits below you think really happened.
Internal Affairs visited Cait. They wanted to know where John was. Said something about a chip.
Mairi finds Trev. He's a mess. Camera pans away with Mairi holding Trev in her arms like a frightened child, her hair blowing in the wind. She is wearing a long pleated skirt with a mustard colored blouse offsetting her auburn locks.
Dr. X discovers that Châtelaine's undergo three months of training to communicate with their eyes.
The signal Rog recognizes comes from Kyra's Zing Tao ring.
Taren is forced to destroy the ring, and under duress has to do it in front of Kyra.
This unleashes a side of Kyra never seen and she destroys the entire compound.
When no one is left alive, she collapses in a heap as a light is seen around her--Kieran.
When Mairi finds Trev he has blood caked on his upper lip, his eyes stare unblinking, lifeless; he can't form coherent words or thoughts. His body feels strangely cold and he trembles uncontrollably.
Mairi puts hands on his head, closes her eyes and has flashes of his mind. She cries, something a hardened Châtelaine would never do.
Kyra spares Taren, barely. The number of dead in the compound count into the hundreds as she moved of body and mind.
Von said it was the most terrifying and beautiful birth he had ever seen.
Emy couldn't talk about what she saw for months.
Mairi feels guilt at encouraging Trev to sow his oats.
BC is pissed Lil' let Trev go and not kill him.
Kieran holds Kyra as Mairi holds Trev--tells her he has someone that wants to say hello, someone that did not take the last ship out of dodge.
John writes in his journal that "After the Kyra Incident" he is losing his moral compass with Cait.
Mairi looks to the heavens and cries out, "My Janus, what have they done to you." Tears streak down her cheeks and she looks back down at Trev's blank stare and through her tears she utters, "My dear child." She wipes his hair away and shaking her head says, "How will you ever forgive me?" She is rocking back and forth as a mother might rock a frightened child to sleep.
"Papa?"
Kieran says she can't directly connect with him but that he can act as a conduit.
Message from Papa: "We can still get there from here."
Von: (Looks at Rog) I hope you brought some snoot?
Rog: I did.
Von: Good Hynerian.
Rog: I drank it--all.
Von: (deadpans)
Rog: But I have a plan.
Von: Yeah?
Rog: Looks at John.
John: What?
Von and Rog: (Start laughing)
I Love You, I'll Kill You by Enigma is the Soundtrack for "The Kyra Incident."
Interview from Earth:
T: Can you explain what happened?
K: Taren's hammer was like a pickaxe. The down stroke to Papa's ring broke, and I shiott you not, to my mind's eye, I saw it as clear as day, but broke layer upon layer of inhibition and doubt while harnessing a synergistic melding of practice, theory and application that took years of pieces and in an instant painted, how would you say it, a Mona Lisa.
T: Wow.
K: Don't ever say that word again in response.
T: Okay.
K: (starts laughing) I'm just shiotting you. Bring more whiskey--nine glasses.
T: (just smiles)
48 comments:
I really don't know what to say to this one, you've gone rendered me speechless. The other day, I spoke of gentle waves, this chapter was more big crashing waves, momentous impressions that reigned down one by one to create a whirlpool within as before one has a chance to explore the meaning of one new piece of information another comes along. The above all adds up to one of the most heartfelt wows of the story yet. You speak of cameras, were one watching this in a theatre with the lights dimmed down, it would be one of those scenes (series of scenes) where one is so involved in what is going on, the reminder of the world outside at that moment would be a shock.
I think I may need to have another coffee before I can even begin to tell you just how the mind races at the events as they (may or may not) unfold here.
Amazing.
One more in the long line of reasons to think you are so is yet another milestone reached at the WCG - congratulations on the accumulation of 100,000 points for Team Bravo!
The image of Mairi holding Trev, tears streaming down her face as she sees the state he is in and reads some of what happened to him is visually one of the most powerful you have created. There have been other such heart-crippling moments within the story, where watching from the outside, knowing there is neither nothing we can do to change the events nor comfort in any way has been as unbearable. You are able through the lives of fictional characters to evoke such strong empathy that the reactions are physical, a smile, tears, and in this case too, I have to tell you, my stomach is bunching up with concern.
I'm torn, not really wanting to imagine what might have gone on at the hands of Sal for Trev to be in this condition or what we will see from him as time moves on. The pain etched in both their faces, one by the lack of expression, one by the multitude, seen in the mind's eye by that acutely vivid description, becomes inexplicable. Heartbreaking, to see Trev this way, silent, regressing, and to witness Mairi's heartbreak at his wretchedness and the unbearable sense of guilt that is flooding her.
There have been in the grand scope of things few scenes that cut the way this one does. I'm in complete awe at just how deeply words on a page can touch.
I thought of River, when I read the scene where Kyra, so to speak, loses her cool. We needed only see the aftermath to understand what happened. The trigger, the destruction of her papa's blue onyx ring and the simplicity (matter-of-fact) of the words written; This unleashes a side of Kyra never seen and she destroys the entire compound. bears witness to the extremity of what went on there. That closing scene of her encased in light creates a great sense of before and after, of a kind of rebirth almost, as she realizes what she is capable of.
I just re-read Von's words, may or may not have been influenced by them in my use of the word birth. :-D
I imagine never was Papa's wisdom more welcome than at this moment. One wishes that Mairi and Trev could hear it too and for it to offer as much instantaneous understanding and hopes that Kyra will be able to bestow some of this comfort upon the two of them.
The answer now given as to whether papa stayed on Hyneria or not, now given (as much as in he is with Kieran in the spirit world for lack of a better expression), even as this knowledge becomes clear, there's great solace in seeing him again, knowing he is still present. Footsteps in the sand, I just love how you did that, alluding to the chapter from long ago where the words were similar, alluding to to the fact that he will always be with her.
I could go on for days about what he actually says here. (sigh) So beautifully you write!
If today belonged to me to do with as I pleased, it would belong to this chapter entirely, :-), as it is, no doubt it will accompany me during my working day. Overusing the word amazing doesn't apply when it comes to DT. ;-)
Sweet dreams when you get that far,
& happy day ahead. Love and hugs, x
Sunshine, as I mentioned on the post, I wrote these bits and pieces on the flight to Phoenix. I didn't feel like reading with a screaming child onboard, so I put on my headphones and plugged in my iPod and with the music, scene after scene came flooding to mind. Also every little snippet you see here was pushed and prodded onto paper by a different song.
Now, what you see here is what I wrote, which is to say, I was just jotting down ideas--each of which could be a chapter, more fully developed, in its own right--and that was my original intent. In fact, on the top of the page of my moleskine I wrote "Story Ideas."
Once the music started playing and I saw the knock at the door of those agents from Internal Affairs, my mind shifted into movie mode, which is to say I slipped from writing to seeing, to watching, to visualizing what was occurring as the soundtrack played. In part, this attributes to, as least for me, rather plain and ordinary prose. I was not writing as much as feeling and seeing these scenes, imagining where the camera would be and what techniques of film would be used to try and capture the "giss" of what I saw in my mind.
As you know, I cry easily. And, from time to time, when I imagine a scene, tears come to my eyes as I play it out in my mind. This was one of those times where it happened twice.
First, and the first bookend of this chapter, is the bloody brilliant images of Mairi holding Trev. I originally thought I would parallel a knock on her door to mirror Cait. Mairi would look out the peep hole and see nothing and walk away. A few minutes later she would hear some odd sound, like a moan and approach the door again, see nothing from the peep hole and begin to walk away when she heard the moan again. Upon opening the door would be Trev, lying as a rag doll, dirty and discarded.
The only problem I had with this beginning is the image of Mairi holding Trev does not take place at her doorstep, nor does it take place in her quarters, which is where she would have dragged him in. However, I think this is the way Mairi discovers Trev, with whoever dropped him off, knocking on her door.
Having said that, this scene with Mairi and Trev takes place in daylight with a fairly strong breeze. I saw both their hair moving in the wind and the lighting is of late mid-morning with a slight bluish tint, a cooler filter on the lense (I could change my mind on that one--lol). Here is what I didn't write, because it was so clear in my mind, and only reading it later did I realize the reader might not see it this way, but this whole scene takes place with Mairi sitting on the ground, her skirt spread out like a cape (we see no leg) and she is wearing very "smart" and conservative pointy leather shoes, maybe red or a darker shade of red. She looks great--a contrast to Trev. Trev is limp in her lap and her arms, his head oddly twisted so that it is looking in the direction of her face, like a doll face in that the expression is bland, but in a wide-eyed way, that if properly portrayed would have a haunting quality to it, and, of course, this only furthers to send Mairi to tears as she cannot help but feel the weight of that stare, the guilt that somehow she is responsible for what has happened.
So, the camera begins from a distance. We don't know exactly what we are looking at at first, since so many story elements are currently in the air. The music picks up intensity as the camera zooms in and we see two figures, we can't see the faces yet, but we can see the poses and we know this is not good, that someone is hurt and someone else is in pain over that hurt and we wonder if this is Kyra. Then, the music, as if on cue, heightens just as the camera comes into focus and we see Mairi and Trev and we are shocked at Trev's condition, since we know only what little we know as to what Trev experienced at the hands of Sal. The camera zooms in on the faces, we see the stare and the tears and it begins a slow 360 pan, pulling in and out. About the time it returns to center is where Mairi looks up into the heavens with her "My Janus" and then it zooms in for a close up and we see her eyes, those eyes with three months of training and they say more to us than she could in ten years.
Ahh, I have run out of time and must run to my meeting. You've been saved, at least for now, from another 1000 words of commentary for I haven't even touched on the other elements of this chapter. :-D
Interesting, the characters are starting to form in my head as I read more of your work.
Annie
Annie, on my sidebar under the title of "Story Labels" you will find one label for Sketches and one for Paintings. I have either sketched or painted all the main characters. Some readers say it helps them to actually see a sketch, so by all means take a peek. Then again, you may prefer to use your own imagination and that works too. So nice to see you stopping by again. :-)
oh my oh my i've missed so much.....what with Interviews from earth and wine glasses.....haha!
i'm back~! well, sort of ;)
Meg, so nice to see you surface in blogland. :-D As for the interview from earth, as you might not know, this story starts on earth and from time to time I've brought the story back to earth in the form of interviews with the various characters. That technique is perhaps my favorite of all, if for no other silly reason as I feel like I am communicating directly with my characters in a way, out of the interview technique, that doesn't happen. :-)
I think we need some audio on this one. :-)
Delightfully detailed description of the scene here in commentary, I can almost imagine it, and I can certainly imagine it would be one helluva shot, it doesn't quite cancel out the Catherine/Heathcliff windy moors image that I was envisioning (complete with long skirt too:).
One has to wonder how writers are able to hand their work over to be directors.
I agree with Autumn on this. You went from smooth and flowing to a tornado action and with it a raiing of information.
I feel sad somehow and I am not sure why. I like loss and yet life... make sense?
Sunshine, oooooh, an audio request. Haven't had one of those in quite some time. Mmmm, let me give that some thought. By the way, thanks for all your magnificent engaged comments on this chapter. Really, really enjoyed reading them last night. :-)
Inside, I always write from the moment rather than from a plan, so, from post to post, you never quite know what you are going to get or even where the story is going to go next--I am often as surprised as my readers at the various twists and turns, many of which literally write themselves in the moment of writing. The only rule I have is to have no rules, which if you've read enough chapters you've seen me jump around in style and format with no rhyme or reason--and I like it that way. :-D
Not sure I completely follow you other than in a sweet and sour fashion, which is to say I think most of us enjoy pain and pleasure in the sense that they are one thing rather than two.
Peace my friend. :-)
What a way to spend a flight! It'll take another read or two to grasp what it all means, but what vivid, powerful imagery.
I've been watching (and re-watching) the Moving Rubber commercial starring Kimuya Takuyu, I'm surprised to see it here too!
The power of subconsciousness :D
SJ, if you continue to flattery me such, I might be tempted to share my pillow. ;-)
Thanks you for those very, very kind words. Always much appreciated. :-)
Saffy, you've completely lost me on that comment. What the heck are you talking about? :-D
Now you're tempting me to greater flattery because I really, really need a pillow.:-)
Seriously, the more I read, the more I can "see" it. It's very compelling.
SJ, me tempt? LOL. All I can say is Mairi, my dear Châtelaine has red hair, and doesn't look so different from yourself. If you think you can hang on my pillow, as I recently heard, bring it on. :-D
Well, I need a pillow and if you've broken it in properly and it's a good one, yep, I think I can hang onto it.:-)
Haha, Moving Rubber is a new hair product from Japan and the commercial stars the hottest Japanese idol.
I have a link to the commercial from SaffronSaris:
http://saffronsaris.blogspot.com/2007/06/moving-rubber.html
The product resembles this fractal, that's how my incoherent comment came about :)
SJ, I have, and I am very particular about my pillows. You could almost call me a pillow connoisseur. But I must ask you this, in all seriousness. I also believe in the art of the kiss. If you don't know how to kiss--no pillow. So, can you kiss, and I mean with panache?
What, the pillow demands a kiss before it may be slept on? Hmmm. I think I could probably do it. With panache, even. IF the pillow is good enough.:)
My pillows, SJ, nestle your sweet auburn locks in firm softness divine, eliciting sighs deep and utterly sincere. Thoughts of wonderland, of sun and snow, of warmth and glow, swim with beats of heart as dolphins in warm waters.
Now, having said that, I must tell you, I don't pay for the laundry bills my pillows made elicit.
Are you game?
Oh, my. That's some wondrous pillow you have. If it will do all that, of course I'm game. With a pillow like that, I wouldn't even need a glass slipper to be guaranteed fairy tale dreams. I would even go against my principles and do the laundry.:-)
SJ, I have great confidence in my pillow, and truth be known, sometimes all it takes is a smile to melt my resistance. ;-)
The shadows of a headless monument move on mourning still some loss... go on seeking still the sun...trace a line on space,and go on tracing the ruins. Ruins, lines, lanes..lane... this lane...abode of the cruel goddess...herein somewhere shadows fall apart:right outside the bolted door..[bolted for a tomorrow], bones pierce its hardened wood to usher in time and sunshine with the creaks of the slightest motion at the hinges...but they break up soon...scatter...like dreams scatter in prisms... of our transparent testimonies to fate...
I don't need a tussock of the earth pointing towards my nose angrily to remind me of a hole within..a hole I suspect I musthave been born with...through which peep gods today..tomorrow maybe heretics...so it grows...Some day from this hole will leak a whole range of holograms: Dazzled by the artistry I myself will be reduced to a hollow hologram...
then approach me from various directions...
Trev...
tightly held in palms..Tears...stains of the past slip into future..defying well pressed fingers...defying well pressed eyes & merge somewhere between the thighs...
then those colors, those strange colors...myrid manifestations of transparency...dance like dreams to death...
thus the stains are washed...
I often creep into a stone to watch the whip decend down on it..
Black blood flows...
Freas wounds anchor me to earth...but they cough up, vomit soon afterwards..blood...pools in fact, on the brimming surface of which writhe clots of dreams...
afloat in pain....
For such a special pillow, I think that I could smile for as long as it takes. I'm sure it would be beyond my abilities to resist the promise of the pillow.:-)
Mona, I feel like I've been walking down the beach, looking for shells, and then this morning I come across four of the most interesting and beautiful shells I've ever seen. You have no idea the gift you are to me. I may be back later, when I'm not popping in and out of meetings, to reflect on the mastery of your supreme vividness. :-)
Well, the pillow does reward sincere intent and genuine passionate desire. :-)
Say no more. I'm in.:-)
& what is this! a scene behind the scenes???
LOL...a pillow shared is a laundry earned!
& no pillow for no kiss either!
Wooo!I am reminded of someone>>>
..............
As his lips draw closer...freud whispers in my ear...a kiss is vulgar...genital contact natural...
But I always fell for the vulgar!!!!
May or may NOT have happened? That's toying with us. Which are true and which are not? Until I hear otherwise I'll just assume they all occured.
By the way, sorry I haven't been commenting (but I have been reading). The end of this school years was much busier than I ever thought.
SJ, I was thinking words would not be necessary. I like the way you are thinking. :-D
Mona, I discovered, quite by accident, or was it a post, that SJ and I have a mutual interest. Just wait till she finds out my story has a "Magic Pillow" in it. Click on the label "Ariel".
Speaking of vulgar, I was in the airport yesterday and I noticed two gentlemen in brown hooded robes with white rope like belts. And I thought about how they view life, the ideas and concepts that shape everything they do and the thought "concept warriors" came to mind. I might need to use that idea in the story some day. Anyway, having studied a little religion, and having a very, very bright uncle who was a priest for ten years (was--lol), I have some idea of the world of ideas, of beliefs if you will, that mold and shape everything they see and everything they do.
So, vulgar or not, label it as you will or Freud or anyone or anything else, but a kiss still, in my mind, remains the single most delicious moment, of sharing, of intimacy. There are women I have kissed and no more and then there are women I have done more but not kissed. But best of all, are those I want to kiss and want to do more. Those are the special ones. :-D
By the way, my flight home was delayed and I didn't get home till after 2:30am and my coffee has not clicked in yet so I take no responsibility for the incoherence of my comments. :-D
Jack, I had no idea you were still reading. I've seen so many bloggers come and go, I was fearful you had given up the endeavor. So very nice to see you comment.
As for the story, I would say it is safe to assume, until further notice, which I reserve the right to exercise, that everything in this chapter is true--for now, maybe. :-D
By the way, how is the Italian coming along?
There are times when no words are necessary. You simply exist in the moment and actions speak much louder than any words ever could. I'm thinking that bonding with a Magic Pillow would be one such time. But ... I can't find an 'Ariel' label.:)
SJ, look down my sidebar for the "Story Labels" heading. Just under that you will see Ariel. Click on that label and it will pull up all the chapters, not too many, that Ariel is in--one of which, is the magic pillow. :-)
I agree, there are times where living between the notes is where all the action is, and words or notes become intruders, uninvited, unnecessary. :-)
tree! LOL
You have an excuse at least
I have none..for the incoherence of mine!!
But they stay put...
Excuse to me are like what you have for the desires gone wanton...just like those of the debtor's, who are unwilling to pay! :)
Mona, I think your comments are brilliant! I want to dance with your mind, follow your lead, and let you show me vistas I've never seen before. Be gentle, my sweet heart can only take so much. :-D
I found Ariel. How charming! Absolute magic.
Thank you SJ. I've enjoying writing about the relationship between John and Ariel--sometimes good, sometimes not so good. And, our little friend has a magic pillow. :-D
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