Day: 9

sense of sarcasm is gone--pleasant inviting tone in my voice is surprising to myself--sadness surfaces as an intellectual experience, still felt within the body, but lacking emotional energy--the feeling is similar to being cut with a surgical scalpel, a beautiful clean cut, of a knife so sharp, no pain is experienced and the idea of the cut is strangely held in the mind as a thing in and of itself--a sharper sense of love beyond lust (equal parts or somewhere between platonic and postcoital)--cognition and perception changed--still trying to understand the subtleties--there is an element of 'not caring' that is more complex than prima facie awareness--somehow, this ties into lack of irritation and I cannot tell if I'm simply sedated or rational or some combination that shuts down emotional reaction--a need to analyze things rather than create them--to try to comprehend the effect and affect of psychoactive drugs, which brings into question issues of personality and identity, which by implication calls into question relationship, for the question then becomes, relationship with who--sense of not being completely clear-minded--certain sense of detachment (body/mind/environment)--pettiness is less--concrete preferred to the abstract