Kyra walked down the corridor to the bridge with steps light, steady and deliberate.
John’s carain pulled inside the central courtyard of his estate.
Von and Em were on the bridge, both hunched over the central control panel.
John stepped out and to his left stood Cait and Ariel, who shot out from her mom like a rocket, half running and half skipping, to John’s open arms.
As Kyra approached the control panel, she took note of the red glow illuminating Von’s gray beard.
John hugged Ariel like a great coat one size too large, and his bundle of energy put her tiny head on this chest, her ear next to his heart. Cait stood at a distance and then John noticed two figures in the shadows to her right.
Em looked up first and then Von. Without speaking they both stepped aside and Kyra glanced down upon the sea of red, like distant stars, twinkling and winking.
John picked up Ariel and put her on his hip. Cait looked nervous. As he approached she motioned and the two figures stepped into the light, slate in hand, faces somber.
Kyra opened the comm link. There was no response. She looked at Von and he looked back, neither upset nor anxious but rather peaceful, in a resigned sort of way, as if he had opened himself to the hands of fate with complete trust.
John looked at the slate, looked at Cait. She held her arms out and took Ariel. “Go,” she said, strong to the last, resolute in duty. John hesitated and she repeated her order. “Go, for you can’t come back till you go. And I want you back, here, not back there. So go.”
“Options?” asked Kyra.
“If you believe in Janus, pray. If you don’t believe, pray anyway,” said Von. “Either way, do it now.”
Categories: Story, Kyra, Von, Emy, John Discovery, Caitlin, Ariel
21 comments:
Wow, wow and wow again. This is one of the tightest scripts that I have ever read and its brilliant. I love the juxtaposition of John / Krya, Em and Von. Very well done indeed. I want more. Lots more. Preferably now :)
Thanks Jenni. I wrote this in a fifteen minute window between the end of my meeting and lunch, so knowing I only had a few minutes probably played a part in keeping the prose tight. When you only got a few minutes, you only got a few minutes. As always, thanks for the very kind words. Always appreciated my friend. :-)
Whiplash fractal, to the max!
And what a chapter, cliffhangar to the max. :-) Love too the interchange between scenes, you've left us somewhat where Von is, wondering what happens next and awaiting it, and safe within the knowledge that something will indeed happen.
A few minutes and you were able to create such a brilliant chapter, for that is what it is.
Looks like I am good to go, will be back a little later to finally catch up on comments (sigh, sorry for the continuing delay, you write such wonderous chapters and I've hardly told you so.)
Hope the rest of your day is a good one, xo
Thanks Sunshine. I've started sketching out the next chapter and have a pretty good idea of how it starts. We may be getting close to our first "flash-forward" chapter. :-)
This chapter, although I alternated the action for dramatic effect, actually takes place in two separate time frames. The scene at John's estate actually happens just after the scene on Bravo. John is about to learn what happened, or I should say, he is about to learn what they know of what happened, which is not as much as he wants to know.
Bravo is in a world of hurt right now, and I'll leave it at that. Now that I'm thinking about it, I might need that Mairi and Trev chapter to juxtapose the life and death situation with a more frivolous episode by those unaware. I like that idea, like soldiers in a firefight, losing limbs and lives when at the same time their fellow countryman half a world away just go about their normal lives with hardly a thought of what is happening. That's when, as that soldier you realize a few things. First, ain't nobody gonna come help you; second, the guy next to you is your world; third, life can get damn lonely in times of trouble. Mmmm, food for thought. :-)
As always, thanks so much for your very kind words. :-)
It feels very much like anticipation-wise where we were before we the Marauders to name but one. When the signals on Kieran's monitors went dead to name another. As Rog walked in on Yul to name a third. Just waiting, fearful but no less eager to know.
The emotions you evoke through your storytelling are intense to say the least.
And with the timeframe of the two scenes confirmed and in place, this chapter is still more.
just fab my friend, popcorn in hand awaiting the next installment :0)
HI AUTUMN!!!!!!!!
OK, my heart sunk at the end! I was so excited about the reuinion then it came to a halt when I read they had to go back. *sigh* Frustrating but another great chapter.
Hi!
You seem to be an amazing Dad for keeping your writing a secret from "C" and expecting him to find out and appreciate you!
Am sure your C would read these chapters aloud to his wife one day...
Always felt that - Nothing really matters...
But reading your words through Von, have to ponder upon - "everything matters"
Thanks..
(*_*)
u
Karen, take heart, that in the end, on earth, as least those that survive and or stay with Bravo, will be together. :-D
Thanks so much for all the comments and for keeping up with the story. Both Jack and I most appreciate it. :-)
Uma, I really do believe everything matters. Just a day ago I received this email and it reminded me of this very point:
WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING
> (Written by a former child)
>
> A message every adult should read, because children are watching you
> and doing as you do, not as you say.
>
> When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on
> the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.
>
> When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I
> learned that it was good to be kind to animals.
>
> When you thought I wasn't looking , I saw you make my favorite cake
> for me and I learned that the little things can be the special things
> in life.
>
> When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I
> knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in
> God.
>
> When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it
> to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take
> care of each other.
>
> When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and
> money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have
> something should give to those who don't.
>
> When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house
> and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are
> given.
>
> When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your
> responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I
> would have to be responsible when I grow up.
>
> When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and
> I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.
>
> When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted
> to be everything that I could be.
>
> When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons
> that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.
>
> When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say,
> "Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking."
>
> I AM SENDING THIS TO ALL OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW WHO DO SO MUCH FOR
> OTHERS AND THINK NO ONE EVER SEES.
>
> LITTLE EYES SEE A LOT .
>
> Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher or friend)
> influence the life of a child.
> How will you touch the life of someone today?
> Just by sending this to someone else,
> you will probably make them at least
> think about their influence on others.
Thanks Tubie. Days like this I wish all I had to do was just write and write and post several chapters, one after the other and just let the popcorn flow with the story.
Thanks so much for the kind words. :-)
Sunshine, as if you can't tell, there are two things, well maybe three, that I really enjoy in storytelling. (1) a good metaphor; (2) a good cliffhanger; and (3) a good sex scene.
Than again, I do love the lessons from Papa or Von or Kyra or wherever else they may come. But you know, I suppose the best chapters for me are the ones that somehow someway touch a reader and for that, sometimes, what happens in the comments is the best part of a chapter. :-)
Beautiful... like a feathered mask.
Thanks Chicky. That is a beautiful interpretation of this image. :-)
I love the creation of Janus. That is ingenious! A holy being in the future. Awesome! I LOVE the story line and cant wait to see where this takes us next.
Kahealani, welcome to the original DT. Always so nice to have a new reader and to see their first comment, which by the way, comments are very welcomed here and I do try to respond to each and every comment.
Hynerians have a pantheon of gods or divine entities, but Janus is the one that always gets mentioned, probably because Janus is the only one I've named. :-D
If you look in the archives to 2 December, 2005, you will see the chapter called "The Chapel."
Here is the text of that chapter and what we know about the Hynerian Canon:
Doubt, fear, worry. Not on the flight manifest but certainly as onboard as any Hynerian.
Space is a cold silent deadly place. Only a thin metal wall and a bit of technology stands between life and death. One systems malfunction, one failure of a simple mechanical part determines who lives and who dies. Weighs on the mind. Preys on the soul.
What does tomorrow bring? Where are we going? Will we ever get there? Why does the universe seem to conspire against us? Are we strong enough, bright enough to survive?
Who has not asked these questions. On Bravo-Four-Zero, they banged around the vessel like a steel hammer inside an empty, tumbling, fifty-five gallon drum. Echoes of thought unanswered; a non-sound as tangible in the mind as the knots twisting upon knots in each passenger’s aching tired fatigued muscles.
Hynerian canon worshiped two gods and eight precepts. Love. Joy. Compassion. Peace. Faith. Hope. Truth. Mercy. Moving at the speed of light into parts unknown, prayer poured forth minus the filters of reason and doubt, beyond prejudice, without limit. The chapel became the meeting place of choice.
Once again, welcome to the story and thanks so much for your first comment. :-)
Hi Tree,
Love it when I have the time to really read and catch up with your post. Its like an easy Sat. afternoon when your still in your pj's and its raining out and your all comfy and you sit down to read a really good book - and nobody bugs you - its that kind of good feeling while reading your post. Thats why I never want to rush thru yours....
love this direction!!
Meg
Meg, that is a wonderful thing to say about the story. If my writing can provide someone that experience, of a lazy Saturday afternoon with a good book, then all I can do is smile and feel as if I'm doing something right. Thanks for such heartwarming and kind words.
Take care and have a great weekend Meg. :-)
Is this Kyra's John?!
Wait till you see the sketch I did of John. Looks a bit like a certain actor many women find rather attractive. Just looks like a regular guy to me. :-D
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