One week later.
Bravo slipped through the silent blackness of space as if pulled by the invisible hands of fate or, as Kyra solemnly mused, like Papa’s river carrying them forth; to the next bend or the fall was not theirs to know. Only Emy had joined Kyra and Von. One week removed from departure, one week to contact, the ship had never felt so quiet or so spacious.
“How are we doing Em?” asked Kyra, watching with pride as Em stood watch over the control panel, her sea legs planted firmly in command. Kyra only imagined this was how her father must have stood.
“All systems green. Not a problem in sight,” sighed Em as if disappointed. “I suppose now we just sit and wait. You know, there is something sterile about space travel, something lacking,” Em searched for the right word . . . .
“Something soulless?” offered Kyra.
“Yes, soulless. Do you feel it too?”
“More so since we departed. No offense, but Bravo just doesn’t seem the same without Rog and Yul and Trev and Mairi. Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure Kyra. Anything. And by the way, no offense taken. I feel it too.”
“Do you agree with the others?”
“In what way?”
“Do you think this mission is imprudent? Foolhardy? Misguided?”
“Yes, I do.”
Somewhat surprised Kyra sat up. “Really?”
“In a way, yes.”
Kyra searched Em’s face. She was not joking. “Care to explain?”
“I’ve already told you why I’m here.”
“No, not that. I meant why you agree.”
“Oh, well, my father always said we sail to the sun, not from it, which I suppose was his way of saying we move forward, not back. I do understand the desire and need to pursue this signal, but I believe all we will find is answers for our ghosts, not for us, and I think the bigger question is, why are they still haunting us? Or to phrase it another way, why do we still allow them to haunt us?”
“But you don’t agree?”
“Agree or not agree is not how I would frame the question. I think the question is more, as you might say, one of love.” Em smiled.
“Love?” Kyra smiled back, the kind of smile that said you have my attention now.
“I love you Kyra and so I am here—for you. The mission, I believe is sailing into the void, it doesn’t move us forward. But I’m not here for the mission, for missions will come and go, as will this one. I’m here because, as my father also used to like to say—often, the relationship trumps the circumstance. This mission is important to you and so it is important to me. I’m here to honor you, to serve you. The mission matters little.”
Em paused and Kyra allowed the silence. Em began again. “Now, having said that, I do believe as long as we are haunted, as long as we live in that darkness, then I believe we must seek the light and so I like to see this mission as a ghost busting exercise. What we find on that vessel will matter little in comparison to what we find in the dark reaches of our soul, that place that compels us forward.”
Kyra just sat, her jaw slightly open and her eyes a little wider than normal. “Em, I don’t know what to say.”
“No need to say anything. The look in your eyes right now has given me more than a library of words. On the open water, miles from nowhere, my father would hug me tight; tell me he loved me as he whispered, as fathers do, that without each other we had nothing. As I said a week ago, I am thankful you welcomed me on this mission, welcomed me to travel with you and Von. Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure Em.”
Em’s eyes widened and a sparkle seemed to appear. “Did you see that performance Trev gave?”
Kyra busted out, tears of laughter blurred the corners of her sight. Wiping her eyes and catching her breath she said, “Yes, Em. Yes I did.”
“And?”
“And what?” teased Krya.
“Whhhaaaat did you think?”
“I think we saw a side of Trev none of us had ever seen before.”
Em’s eyes drifted away. “I’m sailing to the sun Kyra.”
[ed note: this chapter is the first of what I am calling an "outtake," which is to say, I'm not really sure I like what is said and how it is said enough that it makes the official story, but it has enough redeeming value to be included. So, with that said, enjoy.]
Categories: Story, Kyra, Emy, Outtake
29 comments:
If the case can be made to move this chapter from outtake status to official story status, my ears are open for business. ;-)
I like it, don't quite see how you consider it an "outtake"? What would you change about this chapter? One thing is for certain, the graphic that goes with it is really stunning.
Beautiful fractal, looks like golden thread weaved together meticulously. Light and glow, soft and rich, just beautiful.
You should take that note off before anyone else sees it. You have no need for it, no need to think that this chapter doesn't fit well into the straight line that is the story. Some chapters are spectacular in content, some are more quiet, but all move the story forward and this is the case here too. Like a piece of music where each note takes us to the next.
I like very much the reasons Em gives for coming along, they follow on from what I read before, now whether this part was actually included in the end, I cannot recall, but in Em's case, worded perfectly in the part that I read, her place is on the vessel so long as it is moving through space, just as she spent her youth on a vessel slicing through water.
You can erase this message and I'll write you a new one, if you remove that first bit :-), for I have to say, it dampens the enthusiasm in the sense that the first thing on my mind as I read it was wondering why you were disatisfied with it. You put up a filter so to speak.
I liked this chapter. I liked Em's reasonings, that there is only ever one place we really can go and that is forward, but at the same time that it is impossible to do so if we are still looking to the past. And I very much like, given the letters that we have seen from Emy to her father, the suggestion that she is feeling tentatively hopeful that perhaps the way forward could include Trev. I like too that Kyra, wonderful being that she is, is able to open herself to other people's thoughts in this way and to take onboard something that may be very different from her own way of thinking. That said, she would never have asked the question of Em were it not a question she were asking of herself. Choices aren't in reality what they are in theory, and that is why they are headed the way that they are, it seems to me. Whenever we make them, we make them based on who we are, where we have been and what is inside. As Kyra said somewhere, there really was no choice, so whatever the reasons, and everyone is clear that there are reasons like the ones that Em voices, not going, not seeing whether there was any answers or better to find, was in reality never an option.
Forgive me, half awake comment, had a longer nap this evening than I sleep some nights.
In short, I very much liked this chapter and it is 'a chapter'. xo
Jenni, my main concern is the idea that the crew and Emy are questioning the value of the mission. I still haven't gotten my head around why they would question it, in spite of what Emy says to justify this position. Could be, since we don't know what was in the transmission, that that would shed some light on the crew, and John, feeling that Kyra is letting her emotions get the best of her. Perhaps, also, the next chapter or so will give Kyra a chance to explain to Von why she felt this mission was necessary.
Then again, it could be, I just feel a little uncomfortable giving Emy such a strong philosophical voice in this chapter and wonder if this is a little out of character for her, but if you read her letters home one would know this is not the case.
I guess I'm saying I not sure why I'm uncomfortable with this chapter as a legit chapter, but I do have a feeling of uneasy-ness. Could be nothing more than been awhile since I've written a chapter and I just need to get back in the flow.
Thanks for the kind words on the image. Enlarged it really is spectacular. :-)
Sunshine, I'm in the middle of dinner and waiting for James and the Grammy's to start (about 15 minutes), so forgive my short reply as I type and eat at the same time.
All I'm going to say right now is, where were you one hour ago? LMAO
Sometimes I think you know this story better than I do, or at least what these characters could or couldn't do.
Then again, are you just defending your image-sake on an emotional level? :-D
Just teasing. Let me finish eating and I'll give you legit answer.
The sun is brilliant.
I think It's ok to have a "conversation" chapter. Makes the story lively.
Tree - you questioning this???
I hope you always put some time inbetween writing and analyzing what you wrote. Don't overthink, its fabuous as always!
Have a great week Tree,
Meg
Hey Autumn :)
(need to catch up soon)
Saffy, your kind words on the image are always much appreciated. Thanks for stopping by and leaving feedback. This chapter may yet make it to non-outtake status. :-D
Morning Meg. My question on this chapter falls on two points: (1) would the rest of the crew really feel this mission was not worthy and could a legit argument be made to that effect (I suppose since I identify with Kyra so much, and like her, I would feel compelled to take this mission, to know what happened, to bury the dead if nothing else, that I'm having a hard time not thinking that all the other hynerians would feel the same way. I guess I'm in a little bit of shock that they don't. But I'm open minded.); (2) I'm still settling in to the voice I gave Emy and the way she interacts with Kyra in this conversation. Emy is much more forceful in her opinion than we have seen before, more willing to state a philosophical position opposite of Kyra's than perhaps before. Of course, we really don't know Emy that well, and my hesitation could be my own need to discover (peel back the onion) on who she is. The dialogue itself, perhaps, needs a bit of a rewrite in that I wrote this chapter very quickly and I'm not entirely comfortable that the words would have rolled off both Kyra and Emy's tongue as written. There is a fine line between what works as "prose dialogue" (which is to say, it works when read) and what would work in a "real world" conversation.
So, all in all, when I added all these things together, I just had a slight uneasy feeling about this chapter that has not been there in any of my other chapters. Of course, I had just watched Serenity and enjoyed the outtakes included on the DVD, so perhaps I was influenced in that regard. :-D
I suppose at the end of the day, if you enjoyed the chapter, then mission accomplished. :-)
Sunshine, I've taken to heart your comment about the "ed note" placing a filter so I've moved it to the bottom of the post and I may change it entirely. I'm feeling better about this chapter this morning than I did last night when I wrote it. More later. :-)
Good man. :-)
Happy day ahead, x
Hi!
Just a quick login to capture the beauty and magnificience of this image...[from DT on wordpress, ofcourse]
Omigosh!
You call this Outtake?
well...No Way!
Wonderful explanations by other readers
(*_*)
U
Btw
"You write so well" is definitely an understatement.
....the relationship trumps the circumstance....
....what we find in the dark reaches of our soul, that place that compels us forward....
Uma, thank you for those very, very kind words on both the image and the prose. Sometimes, perhaps, one can be a little too close to one's own writing and unable to see it clearly. I can tell you it warms my heart to read such a wonderful comment. Thank you again, very much. :-)
"...the relationship trumps the circumstance."
Oh, I love this line. It's so so so true !!
This chapter an "outtake"? I don't think so Trée. hehe
Keep writing these words of wisdom. They're definitely keepers!
Deb, that is one of my favorite phrases too. I'm not certain if it is one of mine or I picked it up somewhere along the way, but I've always tried to maintain perspective by putting the relationship above the circumstance. Sometimes this is a very hard thing to do and I have not always succeeded. But I try.
I do appreciate your kind words very much. Thanks for being such a faithful visitor and commenter. :-)
Happy Valentines!!
Saffy, Happy Valentines to you too sweetheart. :-)
Hi!
Just felt like
wishing you [and your's] a GREAT TIME on this special day.
Enjoy!!
(*_*)
U
Thank you Uma. And the same to you and [yours] too. :-)
whew, that had me worried for a minute, like showing up and your key not fitting in the lock. Ok I found you and all is right in the world again :0) and its the perfect snowy day to try and get caught up on the story :0)
Hello my friend, how are you? Never enough hours in the day, but y'all are never far from my mind (or my heart).
Ok, gonna go read now :0)
Tubie, knock yourself out on the story. Good to see you again and Happy V-day. :-)
I'm not quite sure which captivates more, the pictures or the prose, both are just too
cha-cha for words :0)
I know I have said it before, but I know its been a while, you are very talented my friend, I still say this should be in book form eventually and of course I will be first in line to get an autographed copy (especially if it comes with one of your quaidesque grins, mr educated southern--I may be engaged but I'm not dead LOL)
Hope to get the chance to visit again soon, hugs and kisses my friend! and happy VD to you too :0D
Tube, so good to have you back and commenting. Your kind words on the images and the prose are very much appreciated. A lot has happened in the story and I think there are actually a few characters that would be new to you. Welcome back and I hope to see around again.
"Mr Southern Educated" :-D
I like the sailing to the sun metaphore; it's positive and shows courage and what papa would want Kyra to do.
OMG, this is the most beautiful frac. You amaze me!
*HUGS & Kisses* to you and Jack. Enjoy the weekend!
Thanks Karen. I'm back in Phoenix on business and I find my time to blog is very much reduced on these trips. I do very much appreciate your kind words and this image is very spectacular in the full version. I must agree. :-)
Keep warm. Jack and I have been thinking of you. :-)
I like the relationship between Em and Kyra. I am not sure I (fully) understand it. But I like it.
On the open water, miles from nowhere, my father would hug me tight; tell me he loved me as he whispered, as fathers do, that without each other we had nothing.
Reminds me of something I read recently. :-)
Fabulous!!! chapter still. Interesting to read this one in light of Kyra's recent conversation with Em before making the decision to Kulmyk.
An outake? Bl**dy cheek!
I love everything about this one - it is a favourite :)
Lovely fractual too!
Miladysa, your kindness is noted and deposited in your blogging account of good will. Thank you. :-)
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