Like anxious miners exploring an unknown vein, Kyra and Von starred down the aphotic hall, their headlights glassing left and right, an extension of their straining eyes. The dank corridor walls starred back as a thousand beads of condensation reflected their miniature images like the mocking eye of a giant insect. Their thermal skin suits kept them temperate, or so said the teal data floating before Kyra's iris, but warmth, or in this case, bone chilling cold, was more a function of mind than body.Kyra nodded toward the door and Von powered his las pistol, a steady growing hum of lethality in the mausoleum quiet of nervous anticipation. Time elongated and space felt thick as muscles resisted the invisible strain of adrenalin, an ache stored by urgency for tomorrow. Kyra placed her gloved fingers on the handle and with a turn of hand quicker than Von could follow, opened the door. A dim flow of pale light enveloped Von's raised las like a gentle hand; and where violence was braced, the numinous sight before their focused eyes dissolved the fear in their minds the way a miracle bathes the darkness of heart and soul with light.
Von froze, as if an old eidolon had appeared from the halls of his worn memory, the primrose light reflecting off his faceplate like a hazy projector before his unblinking gaze. Kyra moved forward cautiously, her mind resisting what her eyes were registering. Her hand moved to her comm without conscious effort. "Rog, put Trev and Dr X on standby, now." She walked closer. Von had still not moved. Reaching out like a child for a bubble, she placed her hand on the glass enclosure. A more beautiful female Hynerian, hair golden and shimmering as summer wheat, she had never seen. Kyra plugged into the dataport, checked the feed and then checked it again. This one was alive and from all outward appearances, with child.
17 comments:
Awesome post.
There is something special about that first paragraph.
"She was alive and from all outward appearances, with child."
Now I am really worried!
*Congratulations on becoming a Blogger Blog of Note - your readers already knew you were!*
Miladysa, some chapters come easy and some come forth like a breach birth. This chapter was the latter, in part from trying to write while having canine and woman hovering over me with expectation of backyard squirrel and lunch to plan. :-D
As always, thanks for reading, the finest compliment one can give a writer. :-)
Whoah.
Very exciting stuff.
I was a breach baby.
I came out ass first. Folded in half.
It's no wonder I have such a fascination with that part of the human anatomy.
:-D
Strump, I've just got one thing to say:
:-D
:-D
:-D
And if you need more, which I have a feeling you do, I've got more from where that came from. :-D
Very nice.
Surreal stuff.
Great blog name as well. Like weed scum on the surface of a deep, dark pond, ringed round with somber ash trees. Nice...
Light in the darkness. Good. As for those real life distractions, they are what keeps you alive and strong as a writer, aren't they?
Thanks Tate.
Daniel, well said, very well said. :-)
Victoria, I'm not sure what I would write about if I didn't have some of those "real life" distractions. Now I just need me a horse or two to keep me grounded. Until then, I'll have to lean on my characters and the things they whisper in my ear. ;-)
Perhaps I have some subconscious associations with the name Zoe, but as soon as I heard it, a lovely creature appeared in my mind's eye, which I mention for the fact that here her hair is written as golden, precisely as I saw her. :-)
You've been busy in the box, warms my heart immensely to see.
Like anxious miners... It never ceases to amaze me just how adept you are at creating an image with words, already in the first three words of this chapter you create a strong impression of what it must be like to enter into those corridors not knowing what lies ahead, knowing only that something does. Having to overcome natural apprehension, instinct that would have one turn back, but having to go on anyway. The silent communication, I imagine a scene like this must be easy to picture and more difficult than most to put into words. The detail slows the scene down to the pace that is felt by the characters, a good example of that is when Kyra's gloved hand turns the handle quicker than Von can follow it, though the pace of the turn is fast, the anticipation of what is behind the door, for Kyra and Von, and for us as we watch them makes it all appear in slow motion. Not explaining that very well, but suffice to say, the technique is brilliant.
A dim flow of pale light enveloped Von's raised las like a gentle hand; and where violence was braced, the numinous sight before their focused eyes dissolved the fear in their minds the way a miracle bathes the darkness of heart and soul with light. This part was especially well done, the imagery of the light falling over Von's raised hands, their readiness for battle should it commence and the last part especially of fear dissolving and the darkness being bathed in light. Hats off to you for the whole piece of writing, as always it's a stunner, immersing the reader from start to finish, not only in what happens which in this case is a big deal but in the sheer skill and beauty of the way in which you have layed it out.
Four, one of those an unborn child, and if they were visible on the Bravo equipment where whomever was travelling with them was not, presumably still alive.
Bite-sized information being provided, :-), a master too at prolonging the anticipation, excitement and pleasure as though we know what they see, we really know very little else at this point.
In and out here, so a messy, incomplete comment, but one thing is certain beyond all else, this was a wonderful chapter, another notch on the belt of love for the story. So to speak. :-D A lovely Sunday to you, Poppet, I hope to catch up a little more here and at the playground tonight, x
Sweetest, your comments are one of a kind and a gift to me beyond measure. I've said it a thousand times and I'll say it a thousand more--thank you.
As a little bit of a teaser, some food for thought, Zoe, as far as this story goes, does not have golden hair by accident. Just think Trev, his current emotional state and the fact, according to Kyra, that Zoe is beautiful beyond compare, well, let's just see what that does to our boy. :-D
Almost wrote a short piece yesterday of Em alone in her quarters after Trev was called away; and she was "feeling" something not good, a premonition so to speak of the world not in order or at least her world--not a good feeling to have one day before the bandages come off. :-)
cool blog! go to www.evironment101.blogspot.com go to it today
Coming from someone with a deep passion for writing: I love the concept of it...all of it and I will definitely be passing by from time to time.
Kate, thanks for stopping by. I love engaged comments and would welcome you back with open blogging arms. Your kind words are appreciated. :-)
"Just think Trev, his current emotional state and the fact, according to Kyra, that Zoe is beautiful beyond compare, well, let's just see what that does to our boy."
Tease!!!!!
It's already tea time here - I'm waiting for the next part :)
Oh you love it. :-D
Great graphic blog - it reminds churches and some Bibleic moments. But I dodn't get the idea from the texts:(
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