Friday, May 16, 2008

506. What Will Be

We walked down the beach for what felt like a longer time than it was. She seemed elsewhere. I had the feeling she was not seeing what I was seeing, not hearing what I was hearing, not thinking what I was thinking. And I wondered if she could feel the fear in my heart, could hear the question I couldn't bring myself to ask.

She stopped and look out over the ocean. Her eyes looked distant. I watched the breeze blow her coal black hair around her porcelain face and I imagined what she must have looked like to papa or even to the crew in those early days on Bravo. Her bearing, regal, dignified; a natural ease, much like how she described her grandfather in his white tunic or so I thought.

You want to ask me a question she said. It's okay, she added, the answer won't change in the asking. So I asked. And she said, maybe. I think she saw a glimmer of hope in my eye because she quickly added, probably. My eyes dropped. I didn't know they had until I felt her finger under my chin. Nothing stays the same she said. We suffer because we want what can't be. We want the world to stop, for us. We want to live in a photographic universe, a place where love last forever. Look at me, she said (I did). Enjoy this. It will pass. But don't miss it now because you can't stop thinking about what will be.

28 comments:

Trée said...

Special reward for the first one to tell me what question I asked Kyra. :-)

j said...

Oh.


That last paragraph was lovely. Absolutely lovely. Bitter Sweet, Poignant.

It makes me glad that the Story isn't written all at once. In completion. It gives me the opportunity to sit with that for a moment, and enjoy it. Where as if I were reading through to more chapters, I could miss some of the emotion in this. The quietness and gentleness of this scene.

Her finger under his chin and her soft words. This was such a nice chapter, even though it seems to carry a heavy weight.

j said...

*wail* I don't know!

going back to read, to try to puzzle it out.

Trée said...

Jen, you are allowed multiple guesses. :-D

Thanks for the kind words. You know, I could almost feel that finger under my chin. ;-)

j said...

Looking into my crystal ball ( )...

I see, I see....

I'm feeling finality, and ending, a knowledge that she possesses of, what, change in the current realm?

Close, or no cigar?

Trée said...

Not quite that profound. Here is a hint. I'm very fond of Kyra. :-)

Trée said...

Okay, I can't keep a secret. Here are two questions. I asked one of them. How I love to tease. LOL

(1) Are you staying? (as in on earth)

or

(2) Are you leaving?


This is my big grin----> :-D

j said...

Oh LORD! You beast. Loftier words Tree. Visions! Dreams! Not baser needs.

Satiated readers are very creative. Not where my mind went, AT ALL.

j said...

Is she not older? I had a vision of a very mature woman, looking back on her experience. The part about Papa and white robes and how she must have looked to the crew made me think that.

Not that an older Kyra wouldn't be a lovely Kyra.

So, ultimately, is the Story a complex Love Story? I know there is Love in it, but I wouldn't have thought of it as a romance. And I guess that is odd too. Cause there is a lot of romance, but I think of it as a Science Fiction Thriller.

Lord, I'm talking to myself in your comments. Not a good sign. I'm about to turn in.

Trée said...

Oh Jen-nay, the writer is a gentleman. Besides, if she is leaving there is no reason I can't ask to go too. Or stowaway. Imagine the story continuing in a post-earth phase with me writing in the first person. :-D

Trée said...

She is older, but keep in mind, Hynerians live much longer than humans, so although she is older than me in earth years, we are fairly close in relative age. Besides, I like older women. :-D

j said...

You could simplify even more and say "I like women."

Which is why you have a large female fan base. We like it when we are genuinly liked, not, well you know. It is easy to be friends with someone like that.

Heading off to sleep now. Such a nuisance, the need for sleep.

Hope you rest well too!

Jen....... nay!

Trée said...

Twist my arm. Okay, I admit it. I like women. :-D

Sweet Dreams Jen-nay. :-)

Autumn Storm said...

The reference to Papa and his white tunic did the same for me, I envisioned someone looking like Livvy, the picture that she posted at The House of Bravo, where she was standing on the beach, the wind catching her white attire and blowing wisps of hair about her face, a grace about her, and a look of being delicate, but as would be the case of Kyra, a heart to room the world and a strength that could move mountains, to be cliché. Until I read of her hair.
Exquisite piece of writing, deep-seated and far-reaching, beginning with the title (though for a second there I did see M on stage at Oriental City of Colindale London singing her little 4 year old heart out in front of an audience with a mike in hand). Something so different about this chapter, than all the ones that came before, the beginning of what may be, as you enter into the story, such poignancy - amendment, it is to do with the writing in the first person, and there have been others that sounded this way too, Kyra's remembrances in the first, to mind springs the chapter, to cite one, after she had destroyed the compound...regardless of the question, though written in words, and because of it, his fear emanates off the page and she must be able to feel it, for it looms large. The distance between them that he feels, whichever question that he asks, it is clear what he hopes, to spend more time with her, to hold onto her for a while longer. The scene before them, and going back to the chapter before this, there is very much a feel of him wanting to absorb her, to be close to her, and as such, as he moved closer in the previous chapter, that he feels she is moving away in this one becomes all the more gripping. Going back to the above, and her resemblance to Papa, it is as it should be with so much of him in her, with her memories, his influence and teachings so much a part of her, it is right, and there is a thankfulness that bubbles up for things that fit, fate, when nothing that one can tie down but chance made things perfect, that she should bear so much of him within her that can be seen, if not known. Standing there, more wet, less clay-like, as Jennifer said, there is a wonderful, nostalgic sense of looking back, of having stood looking out to sea with others, of Papa being held close, now in this moment, and always, of her thinking back to those times when she was a young child, through her ages on Hyneria, and to other times, where she stood alone, with someone else, and with the same sense of times passing, that it is learned and not only taught that what will be will be and to embrace the moment. Momentous does this chapter feel, as memories come of the seven mirrors with another great wave of nostalgia that brings tears to my eyes, the love of the story and how it sits warming in my heart and beautifies life as it is lived will do that to a person, :-), as the mirrors, and Papa's words, and the fractal with the seven (or was it eight) floating globes comes to mind, Kyra becomes Papa here, the air that surrounds him, the bearing perhaps that 'T' comments upon, the natural ease, in tune, the knowingness and willingness to meet the turns head on and in the flow, floating as he wants to grab on - too much, it is subtle and beautifully done, no grabbing involved but a natural, to use that word for the umpteenth time, questioning and wanting. The finger under the chin and the change of from maybe to probably as she sees the hope in his eyes. So very, very beautifully done, words do not suffice to tell you how incredibly touching and thoroughly lovely this chapter was. It brings everything to mind, all of it. And I'm done. Filled. Here they all are. :-)
Loved this chapter completely.

Mona said...

You asked Kyra " You will never leave me will you?"

In clinging to the past & in anticipation of the future we tend to miss the only reality that is there : The Present.

How are you Tree?

I am still recovering from my angina attack...

Autumn Storm said...

Have a wonderful day today, Poppet and Co, smiling for you, x

Wamblings said...

OK having read the comments I see I was off base with my idea of the question. Gahhhh here comes momma to sit close to me again. Last night she was squeezing me into the corner of the sofa.
*focus girl, focus*
So first I'm thinking along the lines of "will you always love me" which I amended to "Is there a chance our love will grow stale and die?" I wasn't thinking about leaving so much as loss.

Oh and we know you love us all. :D Though the aging dyke might not hold your imagination quite as long as some of the younger beauties.

Scarlet said...

You ask a line from Meatloaf's "Paradise By the Dashboard Light."

"Will you love me forever?"

Trée said...

Scarlet, that's not a bad question. Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment, always appreciated. :-)

Trée said...

W, the mind (and heart) is (are) the most attractive part(s) of a woman. Physical beauty is highly overrated. Age, in my opinion, is an asset, as long as that age is accompanied with maturity.

The question asked, in this chapter, was No 2--"Are you leaving?"

Always nice to see you W. And happy naked dances will forever and always be welcomed. I'll bring the fans. :-D

Trée said...

Mona, so nice to see you again. I was aware something had happened but didn't know what. I hope and trust you are on the road to recovery. As always, your comments are so very close to my heart that sometimes I wonder if you know what I am thinking even before I think it. :-)

Trée said...

Sweetest, what can I say but your comments are the water under my boat. :-)

One thing I have not established, nor decided, is the time gap between the current story on Bravo and when they actually made it to earth. I think we are all assuming it was a long, long time, but we don't know. Bravo, in theory, could have arrived on earth just a few years from where we are now, which would still put Kyra younger than myself. Interesting that so many took the picture of Papa in his white tunic to mean that Kyra was herself of similar age--never occurred to me that others would make that kind of connection as to determining her age. Personally, I've always pictured Kyra to be of middle age when they make it to earth, but I'm not opposed to her being just a tad younger. ;-)

Jamie Dawn said...

You've got a cool thing going on here.
Terrific writing skills and imagination!
Thanks for dropping by my blog.
I guess we can surmise that Kyra is either staying or leaving. Other options seem improbable.

Trée said...

Hi Jamie. Thanks for the return visit and the kind words. :-)

Kyra is leaving, he knows it but is afraid to ask for to ask is to remove all doubt so she presses the issue, gets it out front. So, with her prodding, he asks: "Are you going to leave?"

She says maybe, sees the hope in his eye and quickly adds, probably.

Thanks again for stopping by. :-)

Cléa said...

This might sound way off base, but as I read it (and marked it in my RSS feed), I got the impression that this was not fiction.

Trée said...

Cléa, I've included many biographical elements within the story. I can see why you might think that of this one, but I'm afraid this chapter is pure fiction. Nice to see you stopping by again. Martinis on me. :-)

Miladysa said...

Beautifully written!

Trée said...

Thank you Miladysa. :-)