496. Neither
John slouched in the chair, the green glow of the data slate illuminating his haggard face against the pitch blackness of his thoughts. The message blinked as if alive.Kyra for John.
The image of Ariel floated as an angel before his mind. She didn't deserve this. Neither did Kyra.
10 comments:
You can do it, John!
I know you can!!
Tree - I am so excited to finally be able to comment! It has been a treat to look at all of the wonderful fractals, and the story is simply breathtaking. Very intersted to see where the story goes from here. Just wanted to say hi and I thoroughly enjoy your work.
(I am also so happy that Zoe's character was introduced! I was waiting for a blonde to show up :-)
Oh-oh, what now?! ;-)
Ever a master of the cliff hangar, you are able to put a reader at the edge of the seat in anticipation of what comes next in just 50 words. :-) Dramatic, mysterious, well done you.
Sunshine, not sure how I get John out of this exchange without being cliché. Waiting on inspiration. Let me know if you find it. :-)
Chloe, wonderful to see you commenting for the first time. Hello back. :-)
Your kind words are very much appreciated. Thank you. :-)
As for blondes, well, the story needed a little primrose on the adult level. I think she is going to be a great addition to the story.
Strumper, YES HE CAN. :-D
Ready for those private lessons?
Tree, would you be willing to elaborate on your comment to Miss Storm? What do you mean by not sure how to get John out of this exchange without being cliche'? I am intrigued by that and I would like to understand what you mean. Maybe if you further explained 'the exchange'..... I REALLY hope you don't mind me asking. It's just that inquiring minds want to know!
Jen
Jen, The Hood has made an offer. He will release Kyra in exchange for John. I'm not sure why The Hood doesn't believe he can have them both, why he feels he must offer Kyra to get John and why, if he really wanted John in the first place, why didn't he have his men capture him instead of her. So, as I try to imagine what is going on, every story-line I contrive seems very movie-ish and not all that creative or plausible.
So, we have this concept of pain and pleasure at least as far as The Hood views the situation. I'm not sure what he means. Who's pleasure and who's pain? Does he mean it literally or figuratively. And what change is he referring to and how do John or Kyra or both fit into the making of this change. Right now, I have nothing original to offer and I would rather let the story sit than serve half-baked, eye-rolling tripe. :-D
Not sure that really answered your question. Ask another and I'll try again. Oh, and you still have the most gorgeous eyes. :-)
No, I don't have any more questions. I understand this chapter much better now. I see where you are coming from as far as the writing. I have read and re read your comment summarizing where the story is at this point. No ideas automatically pop into my head. If it were my tell to tale, I have NO IDEA where I would go next.
Your description helps the mention of Ariel in this chapter make more sense to me. So, in a way, there are parts of this story that are in John's hands as much as the Hood. What actions he will take. I LOVE it when I gain clarity, with your help of course!
And, Thank You! All the better to read you with, my Dear.
Jen
Jen, I am always open to ideas and I like sharing. Just so you know. :-)
So, does John take the chance of the exchange to save Kyra, an innocent, knowing if he gives himself up, he may never see Ariel again and she will have lost both parents withing the space of a few months. I'm trying to imagine what must be going through his mind. The rock and the hard place and of course, all the ways he can have his cake and eat it too. And this is where I fear some cliché-ish element to the story. Then again, the story has been full of them so I'm not sure why I'm so concerned now. :-D
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