There was talk, a walk and a kiss. To say more would poke a finger in their bliss, to say nothing would be a disservice to persist. One stood above and one below, and as surely as rock tumbles from high to low, one set of lips fell into the valley bow (of the other’s soft reprieve). Such is the nature of a kiss.
Touching of flesh, a kiss perhaps can be, but as a grape squeezed not the vintage sieged. Warmth passed between two souls in the stillness of time, making memory between the ticks of chime. Essence slipped membranes seen not by eye nor mind to gleam but to intelligence gifted not schemed; and fingers moved as if on strings to a symphony heard in angels’ wings.
Eyes turned inward fain as hearts beat like drums on the plain. The firm ambassador of words not needed, greeted with touches light and heated. As if a summer day where care not heeded, the two danced and darted as feathers on the breeze or children round the trees. Giggles felt but not heard and trembles joined the plaintive bird. Arms contracted to devour, fearful of clock and time in hour.
From dry to wet and firm to soft were sighs witnessed as eyes were naught. Hair tingled in the touch and noses snuggled, as if enough. The curve of one fell into other and where one began the other shuttered. Breathing raced as two for medal, crossing over hands together, as brothers as one do on the day. And so a moment held back time and seemed forever in space divine till upon the magic came a finger.
Reading and Commentary: The Kiss
Categories: Story, Kyra, John Discovery
53 comments:
This chapter comes on the heels of "Grace and Beauty" and prior to "We're Leaving."
Very nice indeed. A beautiful description :)
*!!!!
Absolute shivers up and down my spine, brb, gotta read that a couple more times.
Divine, abso*lutely divine. I seriously believed no longer that I could have that whiplash feeling on your writing, don't misuderstand, there have been so many different chapters now, written in a great variety of styles, always brilliant, and the standard so to speak is set in stone. I couldn't say that this chapter is any better than so many others, it is as awesome, but once again, there was something completely new, and well, as said, shivers, to the max.
Before I go on, I have to say some more about the words, but that said, I don't even know what to say other than the same again. As I have told you many times, you talent for expression is genius, an innate part of you where much of what you say is like liquid honey, even your comments :-) are little 'nuggets of gold' to use your words. There are parts of this that have that extra something, that make them stand out even against such an exquisite background. Once I hit the part about angel's wings, I near cried at how lovely it all was.
The actual kiss, once written, became natural. Had you told me that there would be such a thing, as I wrote somewhere in the comments below, I couldn't imagine that any touching of any sort would have happened, but this, the way it is described (Warmth passed between two souls in the stillness of time, making memory between the ticks of time.), it became perfect, as it should be. Something beautiful.
I'm running with those adjectives again, you need to teach me how to use metaphor as you do :), but I just can't help it. This chapter was more 'beautiful' than I have the skill to describe.
Divine.
Good morning, x
As if a summer day where care not heeded, the two danced and darted as feathers on the breeze or children round the trees
There's one of them, just had to highlight that one as I was reading again. I'm so wowed it's not even funny, I won't be able to walk straight. :-D
Have a most wonderful day!
As always the words seem to perfectly match the images. Like a sweet tatste of honey.
A BIG Kiss to you, for Christmas!
Have a great time!
Wow, the audio sounds like I recorded it from some remote outpost. If I can find the time, I might re-record this one in hopes of getting a better quality of sound. If so, I'll probably leave this one because of the commentary, which is done in the moment and could not be duplicated like a reading. Then again, this might just be all there is. :-D
Lots of work to do today. I'll respond to comments as soon as I have a moment between paying the bills. :-)
Your words caress the reader - to the point of being lost in another place. Imagining as I read, I not only picture the experience, but actually feel as though I'm a part of it, me and my Lover. As so well-said by Autumn, your use and mastery of words (talent for expression) is astounding, and a pleasure. Wow Trée, magnificent and beautiful kiss.
Thanks Jenni. I've edited and rewritten this chapter since you read it, so give it another look if you feel so inclined. :-)
Alex, I'll take that big kiss and raise you two big hugs. :-D
So good to see you stopping by. Your kind words are always appreciated.
Keep warm and have a wonderfully safe and joyful Christmas. :-)
Oh Terry, those are some mighty fine words that warm my heart and energize my soul. I do so much appreciate your feedback and it pleases me to no end that you liked this chapter. Keep warm. :-)
Sunshine, I wish I had more time to respond to your comment, so expect more later (today is just crazy busy for me at work). Let me say this, however, your three comments are like a big present with a giant bow sitting under my xmas tree. I simply couldn't imagine a better gift than the one you just gave me with your wonderful words.
By the way, as I mentioned to Jenni, I've heavily reworked this piece since you read it in the early morn, so read it again, like it was the first time, which, with all the changes, I suppose it will be. :-D
More later when I can take the phone and throw it out the window and stomp on it with both feet. :-D
Merry Xmas - Was just thinking of that fractal you did for me last year with the Carpenter's song!
Hey Holly, so good to see you! I remember that fractal very well and now I'm in the mood to hear that song again. :-)
Merry Christmas to you and yours. :-)
Hey sweetie, happy Thursday, xo
Would you send me the first draft if you have it? I should like to read one and then the other.
One of these days, you'll realize that any English teacher worth their salt would consider this to be something special. Forever wanting to do better though is part of what makes you so good at this.
Have a wonderful evening, you'll deserve it after the day you are having. :-)
Love and hugs, x
Sunshine. I just sent the first, first draft. Let me know if you think I improved the composition or just mucked it up trying too hard. I like both versions and I'm sure there was anyone really wrong with the first version, and in fact, it might actually be better. One more interview in ten minutes and then a dinner party to attend. The fun just never stops. ;-)
**As if a summer day where care not heeded, the two danced and darted as feathers on the breeze or children round the trees
Loved it! U r too good a writer I have no words.
Now may I kiss ya under the mistletoe? ;-)
Hugggggggggz Tre!
Keshi.
Keshi, my arm had grown tired holding the mistletoe waiting for your arrival; but now that you are here all is forgiven and all is forgotten as I pull my dear southern angel close to me and allow my lips to fall into the valley of her bliss. :-D
Sweet dreams when you get that far, my lovely. Thank you for the coffee and the giggle. And thanks for sending that draft, and I will.
Night, xo
Sleep tight, Poppet, missing you already. :-)
I fell horrible zipping through here to comment off topic but I wanted to wish you Hippie Holidays! I'm off and running!
Peace......................
Missing you too Sunshine. Float like a butterfly and let me sting like a bee. I think that would be a good combination. :-D
Helen, you are always most welcome here, on or off topic matters not. :-)
Peace Helen.
Thanks Meg. Missed you yesterday. Hope you got those fingers limbered up. :-D
I'm in the storage room. Warm your hands and bring your bombshells. :-D
Hey sweetheart! Thank you so much for your Christmas greeting over at mine.....
You're so sweet! I couldn't imagine a blogging day without your love-leigh-ness in it heheh.
To you and yours, blessings! :-)
*hugs*
Oh Leigh, I still remember the early days and that first fractal I did for you with regard to love lost. You will forever be a part of me, a part of my landscape and memories and I am the richer for it. Merry Christmas! :-)
'ello, 'ello, 'ello, London calling. Happy Friday, sweet cakes, xo
Hallo London. How was your day? :-)
Can I comment with a simple word? Like "mwah"!
Merry Christmas from down under Tree! :)
Chicky, for you, anything.
Merry Christmas my dear warm and enticing one. :-)
Good, thanks, hoping yours was too. Sweet dreams, when you get that far, xo
Did you enjoy the breakfast I left you out in the garden? Just thinking of you Sweetest. :-)
Hi sweetie! Thank you for your comment tonight...It means a lot to me! I have missed you and I hope all is well... I wish you and your family a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year! :) Many kisses... Y
I did. Started with a nibble, but I ended up gobbling all there was. :-)
Sleep fast, :-),
xo
Delayed response, I'm getting good at that. Unintentionally.
I just printed both versions out to compare, black on white, much easier than flicking between screens. In my opinion, for what it is worth, the changes were not needed, it was wonderful as it was, but I think, you improved it's structure without taking anything away from those wonderful champagne bubbles of feeling that rose to the surface reading it. It's a clear masterpiece as it stands now. The part about angel's wings still makes me tear up even reading it now. So very, very lovely, it is. The only bit I have to admit I prefered was "ticks of time". Time, just as a word, has such powerful connotations, sending the mind off spiralling into all manner of thoughts just by its mere mention.
I fell for you all over again reading this post. You are such a magnificent writer, I'm warning you now, if you mention red marks one more time, I shall have to shake you. ;-)
PS Good morning & happy day ahead wishes. My turn for breakfast. My vote: more of the same. Hope that suits. :-)
Y, always good to see you. Merry Christmas to you and yours too. Hope and trust you are well, happy, and sexually fulfilled. If you need some help with number three, you know where to find me. ;-)
Sunshine, I have something a little different for dinner in mind. See you in the garden and prepare yourself for something dramatic--oh, and clear the rest of your schedule, for although we may finish dinner early, you won't have the energy or desire to go anywhere else. :-D
I agree with that phrase. I liked time better too. Chime means the same thing but still it doesn't have the same effect when read. I changed it, perhaps wrongly, when I realized I had "time" rhyming with "time." Since I haven't saved the chapter to the full document yet it can still be officially changed. I'll give it some thought after another coffee.
Oh, and baby, you can fall all over me anytime you like. In fact, I would prefer that you did. :-D
I am thirsty.
Erin, I know, you wasabi mama. I think that was my favorite vid on your site. Watched it twice and will probably watch it again. Snack was funny too but what really caught my eye was that new sofa. :-)
Erin, mastication is my new favorite word. I had never thought about it before, but I masticate quite often (in fact I do it so often I'm sure I'm a expert masticator) and what would my story be if I didn't describe in detail the masticatory habits of my characters, since I'm sure they masticate too. And I'm convinced Yul swallows.
Ever try mutual mastication?
I have Erin. I love watching someone masticate, assuming they know how to do it in the presence of another, which is not always the case. As with most things, skill is required to masticate properly with an audience and I find it takes most, but not all, quite a bit of time to learn to do it right. But I must confess, having someone who knows what to look for watch me masticate always sends a shiver down my spine to parts firm and resolute in the refulgent light of mutual masticatory satisfaction.
Did that answer your question? :-D
I love it... my knees feel weak just reading this. :-)
Thanks Karen. I'll let Jack know you're in a vunerable state. :-)
LOL Yes, pass that on, will you?! ;-)
Speaking of which, when is that next slumber party? Jack was pretty fired up about the last one. Of course, a party of one works too. Just let me know and I'll pass the message to Jack.
Yes, I think that sufficiently answers my question, Mr. Trée. I will hone my mastication skills and give you a jingle when I think they are ready to share.
Take your time Erin. I'll be here when you are ready.
I need to talk to the girls about the next slumber party - we need to do it before my classes start up again. I'll be sure to let you know in advance so Jack can be ready... but wait... he's always ready, right? ;-)
Karen, I think you know Jack pretty well. Like a soldier, he can be ready on a moments notice. I don't think the dude ever sleeps. :-D
This chapter is probably the one that I have read the most times. Aloud. Reading through the comments underlines what I just said below, about there being very little difference, if any, in what I pressed post a comment wanting to say now as then. Especially the part about red pens. And warm honey.
This chapter is like the flow of warm honey, every sentence a complete and utter delight. Words, the way you take a selection and put them together and what one is left with is marvel. Like paints, like ingredients, like notes in music, words singular can be wondrous, but once in a while (or often as the case here is) they are entwined and merged, fashioned together in such a way that the outcome is divine.
I always wish so that you knew just a little of how stirring, how divine your writing (The Story) (and images) is.
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