Day: 90

Update and summation after 90 days coming (hopefully):

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Day 83:

the sense of giddiness has faded or been absent the last few days--too early to tell if this is a trend, if this particular side-effect is abating on its own or whether the stress of my current situation is playing a part--I am glad to see it go--always felt artificial and unnatural and was not helpful with regard to doing anything productive--the mood was nice but it was not conducive to getting much done

yesterday, I felt the old familiar stirrings of emotion with music--not as strong as before but it was nice in the way an aroma is nice when it brings forth pleasant memories--still no real desire to search out new music

lack of desire to read and write remains a mystery--I pick up a book, start to read, but have no desire to finish more than a sentence or two--been this way for about five, maybe six weeks--I'm dumbfounded as to why

on the sexual front, everything works and functions as it should, albeit orgasm remains slightly more difficult to achieve and borders between work and pleasure--not severe enough to go off the meds but a continuing concern--likewise, although function is within normal range and libido remains as strong as ever, something has changed--I've tried for the last couple of weeks to understand what has changed and for the life of me, it remains elusive--the memories of my twenty anorgasmic days are still fresh in my memory and so I can't tell if I am dealing with some very subtle fear, a side-effect of the meds, or, as most likely in these cases, some combination of the two--sexual fantasy has dropped off--no longer providing a mental escape--and although sexual desire remains strong, something with the libido is off--some process that I cannot put my finger on--there is both sexual desire while at the same time some odd missing aspect of that desire--as if the mind is willing but the body is not and what is so odd is, the body is working as it should