Em sat before the window, tender warm flesh, young and pink and ruddy, upon cold silent steel, aged and pearl-grey and blue. Her dark olivaceous head weaved a melody her mind forever denied humming and the glorious sight before her sightless eyes seemed more real than anything in the inventory of her seafaring memory.
Mairi stood to Em's side, her auburn mane shades of ochre banding into straw hues of primrose and crimson and bowed with tawny highlights of ancient stars as a diamonded tiara. Closing her eyes, and with a gentle approach, as rugose waves on a pan smooth lake, as arm slips into an old worn leather jacket and smiles of familiarity run from cheek to heart, the mind of the standing took the hand of the mind sitting and to a tune joyous one danced with the other and a warmness spread between hearts as if the uncaring coldness of space between them were but a helpless bystander.
+I could take you places to envy dreams.+
+Yes, please, do.+
And what was dry became wet and what was cold became warm.
Commentary and Reading: To Envy Dreams
24 comments:
Stunningly beautiful fractal, like a meadow blanketed with flowers of every pink and purple hue, so very pretty.
It is so unbelievably nice to wake up this morning and see a new chapter up here and as busy as you were yesterday too, you still found time to create a such a lovely piece.
Repetitions lend to the melody of particular words which in turn gives parts of it the rhythm of poetry. Sometimes I like these shorter pieces best for that very reason. :-) Long or short, there are always parts that I would love to memorise, just so that I could think about them on the spur of the moment at any time up ahead. the smiles of familiarity run from cheek to heart to quote just one part of a whole bit of wonderful.
Really like how you ended this one too. And what was dry became wet and what was cold became warm. Simple, direct and all the more for those two qualities.
You weave silk, every word has sounds and when you line them up, you make a melody, so pleasurable to read, silk trailed across the surface of the mind, tongue, nerves. Beautiful, in short, image and words.
What's happened? You sound totally busy.
Some people say it's silly, but I think if you are just gonna buy 1 present at all, make it for yourself, coz u deserve it.
Saffy, in a word, work. I'm doing two jobs, both of which are full-time in their own right. My travel schedule has put me more days on the road than at home and the deadlines to accomplish certain tasks are lined up like dominoes.
Sweetest, when I read a comment like yours, all I can do is sigh and wish I had more time to write and write better, to write when I'm not tired. As always, your kind words are very much appreciated. Thank you.
I agree with Autumn - musical.
Love the 'fractal' - new word for me :
Welcome back!
Poor Poppet, I'm almost envious though, I feel a fraud for working just part-time at the moment, so if there is any filing or such like that I can assist you with, do let me know. For now, I'll sneak a hot cup of coffee onto your desk every so often, and no worries, I'll not say a word to disturb. ;-)
Here is different. :-D Was thinking about this little jewel of a chapter all day. Of Mairi and Em sitting/standing before such a sight. As united as they have been at times, fond memories for example of the karaoke night, of how they have come together in times of need and so forth, conversations exchanged, on some level each one of them is isolated from the other, least so Rog and Yul but even they have had their issues and times of dislocation, of separation. What has been obvious throughout is that each of them, though they may reach out and be reached out to, holds a part to themselves. We have seen Em's letters to her father and in regards to Mairi we have seen how Rog has spoken to her, albeit in anger and frustration but although things said during such times should not always be taken to heart, such times can also be when the real truth comes out of how one person thinks and feels about the other, the two of them Em and Mairi sharing a bond through the return toward Kulmyk/Dr X in the form of feeling somewhat outcast and blamed. I must just interject, not knowing how Trev is doing has been the hardest part of concentrating on other characters for a spell, he is perhaps the most isolated of the bunch following recent events. Mairi very much seems to float in the background, and yet she has still been there through some of the most important events on a direct basis, Trev, Yul, a deeply caring heart and someone enshrouded in mystery, only on a few occasions have we gotten anywhere near the tip of the iceberg that Mairi seems to be, namely her conversation with Rog and Yul and more recently with Kyra, but somehow still we really know very little about her. All of your characters are fascinating, known and yet at times elusive, just as with people we know, wanting to get to know them, see more of them, falling in love with them so easily is part of what makes readers return. The other part, so clear within this short piece, as said above, is to experience your writing, and it is an experience, and one to be savoured. I've said it a dozen times before but how unique it is to be able to converse with the author of a written work that one is reading, to be able to comment upon, ask questions, receive feedback and hints and commentary on what the thoughts and ideas were behind the events or a more detailed description of where a character is coming from to use an overused phrase. I just recently finished All the Pretty Horses and one of the most noticeable techniques that McCarthy uses is to use the word 'and' repetitively, something that we are taught, at least I was, in those very first years of school not to do. I know you haven't read the aforementioned (yet), so one has little to do with the other, however it was what made me realize why I liked that very first sentence so. In the repetition of and, it almost becomes like an afterthought or rather a 'non-thought', just an observation given as seen at the time it is seen, and it emphasizes the singular words and the contrast between them. A prime example of the silk spoken of above is in the very next line, taking just a few of those words Her dark olivaceous head weaved a melody, where the words do too weave a melody, and I was trying to slow it down enough for the words themselves not to be understood, but it is no matter, it is there loud and clear, especially in the v's, just beautiful (again in short) is the way you write. I love too the description of Mairi's hair, a line like that showcases the poet's soul that you have. rugose waves on a pan smooth lake, again just wonderful and wonderful too, yes as is it all :-), but wonderful too is the part about smiles. There is a great and heart-warming sense of seeking comfort in one another, of offering one another loving arms to stay within for a time, of sharing their thoughts and feelings without having to voice them due to similarity, of understanding given and received. as if the uncaring coldness of space between them were but a helpless bystander. Gosh, I have such admiration for how you do that, how you, and once again I know I have said this many times before, are able to say something in the best possible way making the picture/thought/emotion that you want to convey clear as can be. Something else that I have said a hundred times or two is how much I love this story, love following the characters, love listening to your words, written and spoken, love the changes in style, love being transported to this very special world of your creation, love dreaming myself away into your images, I see all of that as a great gift that I feel so fortunate to be receiving and I know, from their comments, that all of those who have followed The Story feel the same way (most anyway), which in turn, and this is the day for repetitiveness, just makes me feel such great pleasure on your behalf, to be the person who can sit back and know that all of this came to be because of you, that those characters live because of you, that you have touched so many people through the beauty and passion of your writing. It's all you, and that must be the most amazing feeling. I'm so glad that you have that. For the reason too that thanks always seems such a little thing to offer, and so to know that you feel it the most, that anything we feel reading is amplified for you as you live it, that makes it okay to keep 'taking'. :-)
No replies necessary. :-) Hope you have a lovely day, x
Wonderful reading and commentary, adds so much to hear it read and to hear you talk about a chapter, pointing out things not seen, clarifying others.
And most of all of course, I just love hearing your voice. :-D
Welcome home Tree ! How are you doing ?
"and what was cold became warm" That is so sweet....
Loving Annie
Such rich description, it evokes wonderful imagery. Thank you for the commentary. It really helped me to put the scene into the proper context.
Annie, I'm stressed and exhausted with no end in sight, that is about as direct as I can answer your question. The good news is, on all the things that really matter, all is good and I have not lost sight of the blessings in my life, although I think a few people close to me would like to have a little more distance at the present moment. :-D
Deb, I was exhausted last night when I struggled to write those two short paragraphs. I wanted to write more, to flesh out this chapter, but my brain was/is fried and those two bits were about all I could squeeze out. Thank you for the very kind words on the chapter and the audio. Not many listen to the audio, which I can understand, so when someone does, it is very special to me. Thank you. Hope you and Mark are having a wonderful holiday season. :-)
Sweetest, I knew I was leaving so much out with regard to the context of this chapter that even someone like yourself would be struggling to understand the time and place and context of this chapter--thus the audio. I just didn't have it in me to do any more last night and I've been missing the joy of the story like you wouldn't believe. As much as I loved August Rush, I left the theatre with one dominant thought: I'm heading back to work because I have to put food on the table, but I am not heading back to the music within me, to the joy of creating, to the wonder of The Story--and, in a perfect world, The Story is where I feel the music is. The long and short of my life the last few months can be summed up in a single word: frustrated. I suppose if one were to look between the lines of the story over the last few months, some subconscious bits are there and some not so subconscious bits: everything from what was going to be Trev's suicide to the rape and murder of Cait to the ugliness of Taboodja to the language of certain characters, all of it is but a reflection. Even this chapter. Last night I needed to escape my reality. Even if for only two paragraphs. I needed to be Em. I needed to have and feel that hope, that things could be different. I needed to think there was someone (Mairi) that could control that, that was looking out for me, that could take me places to envy dreams), and in that moment of creation, you see me, hoping and wishing and wanting.
You know what is scary, when I listen to the audio, it doesn't even sound like me; yet, when I recorded it, I thought I was doing a great job of just being me. Kinda like looking in the mirror and you know that is you, but you don't recognize yourself. Almost eerie listening to that recordng. Consider it an unintended diary entry. :-D
:-D
Oh, it's you, I would recognize that warm and rich voice anywhere, just a weary you, endearing, and just as you have said looking back upon images is like watching a slide show of your life, what you were doing and thinking and feeling when those chapters were created, so too this one follows those, as do the recent chapters, and at some point in the future when this very demanding pace being set has slowed to a more manageable you can look back upon these days and pat your own back on being able to take on so much and coming through the other side, all the while keeping this passion alive too, albeit if that is the case in smaller parts. The Story is always there, and though you would wish in an ideal world to spend more time with Kyra and the others, they'll always be waiting for you when the phone stops ringing so often.
Wow. This chapter made me weepy. Thank you for pointing out that there was a story to go with the colours from my dream.
I am, as usual, in awe of your talent(s).
Nerdy, always nice to have you stopping by DT. Your kind words make me smile. :-)
I am going to carry the last line with me in my thoughs as I drift away tonite ... it will be interesting to see what the colours of my dreams will be then...
Oh Nerdy, I love a good tease. ;-)
Sweet dreams when you get that far.
Footprints on mind preserve each wet memory, each dream making one pregnant with 'melody of mind'
Waves of harmony run from heart to heart spreading a warmth as you say through' coldness of uncaring space'
Envy Dreams...The title sounds interesting...
Mona, I love the way you see and the way you take a bit of my chapter and make it much more than I ever saw. You truly are a blessing to me. Thank you Mona. :-)
no end in sight ? sending thoughts of vacation and a week of relaxation your way... No responsibilities, no ringing phones...
I'll take it Annie. Oh how I wish that vacation started today. :-D
I just listened to the audio - for some reason I missed it on my first reading.
Excellent and very informative.
Looking forward to the next post!
Miladysa, if I recall, I posted the audio about five minutes after your last visit, so you didn't miss it, it just wasn't there at that time. Thanks for taking the time to listen to the audio. I don't usually sound that tired and flat. :-)
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