Wednesday, March 31, 2010

718. what he needs

Ariel and Kyra found a bench, by the river, one sitting with feet on the ground, the other dangling as young legs dangle of energy, of the natural need to move, as all things move and as the one looked upon the other, from oldest to youngest, Kyra knew that what moved was no different than the river down the vale or the sun arcing the sky, or even Bravo in orbit, mimicking the moon.

He's not alright. I know this, she said. He was whole with mom as she was with him and without her he is not himself for how could he when she is gone and with her, a part of him.

Kyra looked at Ariel as one looks upon the familiar as something strange. Ariel continued to stare at the river and added, He thinks I don't know, can't know. He believes I cannot understand what has happened or know of loss as he knows of loss; so, he doesn't share and what he gives me is not what he is and not what I need.

What do you need? said Kyra, placing her hand on Ariel's shoulder.

No more than the flower rooted. I need sun and soil and water. Not the idea of sun and soil and water, not talk of sun and soil and water, not the promise of sun and soil and water.

Does he know this?

Not yet.

You should tell him.

He's not ready. His heart and his ears are full, full of the past and until he can dig himself out, nothing I say will be heard, nothing I do will be felt.

Is that right?

You know the universe is mainly space. Even the smallest particle is but a few bits and a lot of space. Remove the space and what lives, dies, and what is light becomes dark. What would a letter be if there were no spaces between the words or music or even our meals. Life is the same way. My dad is no different. He needs space.

I think he needs you.

Maybe what he needs, said Ariel rotating her head to Kyra, is you.

3 comments:

Autumn Storm said...

As soon as I am able, I will finish my comments for the posts below. I need to stop waiting for moments where I shall be undisturbed.
Reading the title of this chapter after having read the chapter tugs, it traces in three words the thoughts and emotions that were held intimately within, during. Before reading the chapter again, with just the title and memories of reading just before I fell asleep last night, there are two things that stand out, the writing in itself, the language, the expressions, the poppetness, known, loved and admired through all you write, secondly to the characters, the female characters, if not loved before this, they are for their caring, for their love and most of all for their insight.
Ariel, from the days of Finkleberries (apologies for I will be surprised if I have remembered the name correctly) through Em's blindness and since her mother's death has shown herself to be an exceptional child, has only grown in the time that has passed. Loving, perceptive, sensitive, enlightened, as Kyra sits with Ariel upon this bench, I think back to a Papa and Kyra post, one of many, but this one in particular conveyed the equality in their relationship, not adult to child, but heart to heart. This conversation is as forthright as has it been between Kyra and Von, there is a very touching beauty in that fact alone, that though there are immediate factors that could have hindered such a conversation, none of these feature (Cait, age, relationship,..,).
I need the room, the ticking clock, the quiet, the time. The desire is great to write more for this post, to write of John and the beauty of all that speaks of John. B up ahead. Love and hugs, sweet dreams and happy days, x

Trée said...

I suppose if I had a list of things I dislike, at the top of that list would be patronizing, especially that of an adult to a child. Ariel is an exceptional child, as we have seen, and this chapter again shows us she is not, I believe eight now, but that she is not your normal eight year old. The bond that Kyra feels is as equals, as gifted child to gifted child. As always, your very kind words are deeply appreciated. Thank you Sweetest.

Lady of the Lakes said...

To be missing something, a part of ourselves. To not feel whole. Although I have not gone through the horrific experience that John did, there have been times in my life that "some thing" has been missing. I have a wonderful family, but there are times when there is something missing. Sorry, my mind wanders...Ariel. What an amazing child. Such insight for a child so young. Innocent and wise...sigh

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