“Is that everything Pinky?” asked Rog, a bit more sullen than she had ever seen him. Pinky blinked her big eyes in the affirmative as if unable to speak and Rog wondered if he needed as much as wanted the mech to feel, to feel what he felt too numb or too angry or too confused to process. “That’s all. Tell Goldie I appreciate everything the two of you have done. Are you sure we’ve retrieved everyone’s personal effects?”
“Yes Mr. Rog. Everything is present and accounted for,” responded Pinky, her normal silly playfulness clearly absent.
Rog sighed at the irony of that thought coming from a mech. Everything, he mused. Everything indeed was not accounted for, not present. What had happened to Kyra, Em and Von was anyone’s guess but one thing was clear—they were not on Bravo. Nor were there any clues; no note, no sign, no transmission, no nothing to indicate what might have happened. For all intents and purposes, Kieran might just have well swooped down and scooped them up into the heavens. Wouldn’t be the first time; still, only one small problem with that theory--Where were the bodies?
“Will there be anything else Mr. Rog?” asked Pinky.
Rog shook his head.
Pinky hovered to the exit. Rog waited for her to leave before he opened the box in front of him, almost embarrassed to sift through someone else’s personal belongings. He was sure his father would not have approved. Not your place, he would have said in a solid tone that needed no further explanation.
Thoughts of packing this up and sending to next of kin flashed through Rog’s mind and he smiled, again at the irony, of how wonderful it would be if there were next of kin to notify. Everything is relative he thought as the smile faded as quickly as it had come. There were no next of kin, for any of them, which also meant their was no father to tell him what to do or not to do.
The first box he picked up was unmarked. Inside he found several sketches, which told him this belonged to Em and his thoughts flashed back to their mission together on Neraj and the time they spent waiting for the Tear to open again. It was the first time she had shared her art with him, the first time she had opened up, talking about her father and sailing the open sea. Em was as sweet and innocent and genuine as they came—and tough too, he learned later, which only made the nagging thought of what had happened all the more painful.
Picking up the first sketch, Rog sighed. Bravo. Unfinished. Everything always seemed to be unfinished. Always a loose end here, a regret there, be it word or action. And now Bravo. Rog walked to the port window. There she sat. Silent. Quiet. Dark. They would be leaving soon and Bravo would not. Rog felt his heart beat and he looked at her golden hull as if Bravo was looking back at him as a puppy does with eyes that say don’t leave me. And it was or so it seemed. Bravo was home, had been home for more than eighteen months and in a few hours, like Hyneria before, she would fade from sight, abandoned, rejected, useless.
Rog looked down. Em’s sketch was crushed in his leathery hands, the damage done. Where is home he thought, as images of Yul popped into his head.
“Rog,” commed John, “we’ve got an incoming message. You might want to see this.”
Categories: Story, Rog, Pinky, John Discovery, Bravo-Four-Zero
9 comments:
With everything he says and does, I just adore him all the more. I've read this one three times now and as I drift within the thoughts that he shares with us, the feelings that are implied within those thoughts, I really don't know what to say. It's the approach you've taken that makes this a masterpiece. It could have been so many things, a conversation between Rog and John as they boarded and looked around for example, but the solitude of Rog here held up against wishing Pinky could feel what he feels, against their once having lost all them and have now, perhaps, lost 3 of the few that remained from this new family, bravo being left behind and Yul's face appearing at the thought of home, it's just so beautifully done. You portrayed Rog at this moment so well that there isn't really anything to say, if that makes any sense. It's all there, on the surface, just under the surface.
Chapters vary in the type of emotion they evoke, always wonder, but some are like a cloud descending - cloud has negative connotations, that is not meant in this context - to be shrouded within. As much as is possible, you've put us inside of Rog. I ache for him, like he was real, like the confusion and the questions are mine too. Permission granted to laugh, but in simple terms, there is a great sense of intimacy in this chapter, conveying so clearly, presuming those perceptions I've created are correct of course, his present state of mind, and heart.
Loved this chapter.
I found two chapters to read today, how nice that was. This one so somber and so very human/hynerian. I can imagine that feeling of an almost anguished frustration that Pinky simply could not feel what he felt--so he felt those things alone. But just like in real life we can find comfort in those capable of giving it, but underneath it all, do we not grieve alone? And we can indeed smile as Rog did, even in such a situation. The complexities of human/hynerian nature. Beautiful. Such depths of character you have given Rog, not to mention, all of the other characters. Even in this somber chapter there is no lack of hope because in that kind of confusion, that kind of mysterious disappearance, there would be some vestige of hope that they are living, at least on some level. And he thinks of Kieran. I find myself thinking of him and Papa, imagining they are on some other dimension somehow that brings them into contact with them, that they will return with new wisdom and tools for living. Or have been rescued somehow that I can't imagine. I enjoy the way this story makes my imagination work. My brain needs the exercise for reasons I know you understand. This was such a good piece of writing.
Sweetest, thank you for those endearing comments. Truth be told, this was the chapter I started two days ago and I got stumped. Started working on it again last night and it just wasn't working and then, well, I got horny and my mind drifted to other matters and I thought of Mairi and Yul and the fact that I'd kinda left Mairi's finger up Yul's private parts. LMAO!
Well, as you see, instead of this chapter last night, you got the one below it. Hey, sometimes you just have to go with the flow. A lot in this short chapter and it pleases me to no end to see you see it all. Again, this is a side of Rog we haven't seen much of. I suppose to a small extent, his dock story with Chaz would have been somewhat similar, but the difference there is Rog could still act, could still make something happen. Here, he is in the dark and fate is turning against him without his say--and he realizes it.
My dear Beautiful Soul, if I am making your mind work, which was not perhaps the part of you I was hoping to exercise--LOL, then I take that as high compliment. You've followed this story from the beginning and I've loved you for it every step of the way. I feel as if, together, we have grown to know these characters through the good times and the bad times, through love and through thoughtless anger, with compassion and joy and forgetfullness and late nights of snoot!
I couldn't agree with you more in that we enter this world alone, we will leave it alone and, I believe, ultimately, we grieve alone. The comfort of a good friend is always welcomed, and it helps to have love and support, but the pain we feel inside, in our hearts and in our guts, well, I think that is our pain and our pain alone. In this chapter, Rog comes face to face with that fact--both the desire for it to be otherwise as reflected in his ruminations on Pinky and the knowledge that it cannot be any other way. And so we see him lost in grief, lost in regret, lost in himself and what happens next.
I've felt this way only a couple times in my life and I can recall those days, those hours, those moments, both of them, as clear as if they had occurred yesterday. All I can say is, those two days were as close as I've ever been to having what felt like an out of body experience. I can only imagine Rog might say this day, watching Bravo slip away into the inky blackness of space, was a day similar.
Pinky Rog & Bravo, wow! some names!
& do I see an autobiographical element?:" which also meant there was no father to tell him what to do and what not to do"
Substitute it with 'mother' in my case! LOL
Mona, there is a very strong autobiographical element to this story. I am, to one extent or another, a part of each of the main characters. A few I've modeled after family members, for example Rog was taken from my Uncle Calvin. Most of all, I identify with Kyra the most and her personality is closer to mine more so than anyone else in the story. Although there are times where I feel that Yul and I are soul mates. :-D
As for that father comment that Rog made, yes, that came straight from me putting myself in Rog's shoes and that is exactly the thought that popped into my head. :-D
Once again, I am on the (proverbial) edge of my seat. I am not entirely understanding, as this is the first time I have met Pinky. However, I read. Then I read Autumn Storm's Cliff Notes (ASCN), re read the story and I think I follow.
I think.
~d, two of the eight crew members had personal "mechs" if you want to call them that (robots). Kyra had Goldie and Emy had Pinky. Pinky has only ever been mentioned once before and if you click on the Pinky label at the bottom of the post it will take you to that chapter.
Feel free to ask any questions you like concerning the story. Be more than happy to fill in some gaps. :-)
Once again, thanks for your very kind words. :-)
Rog is such a wonderful man... can you clone him fo me? He feels everything and you convey it well. He reminds me of someone Jack is close to ;-) *HUGS*
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