90. Underneath It All

Standing on the bridge grandfather and granddaughter spoke not a word. Slowly, quietly, relentlessly Hyneria’s three moons rose into the night. A slight breeze from north-west-north sent an involuntary shiver down Kyra’s back. Papa moved closer, wrapping his left arm around her shoulders.

“Papa, have you ever seen anything so beautiful?” said Kyra, thankful for Papa’s intuition. Her grandfather, advanced in age, embodied wisdom beyond her comprehension. Chosen in his early twenties by Ji as his successor, the only Hynerian to ever reach the ninth order of the Zing Tao’s special Blue Onyx division, Papa treated Kyra as if she was the only thing that mattered, the only thing that existed.

Papa smiled. “My dear child, I have traveled the galaxy, seen wonders beyond description. My eyes have cried tears of delight and my heart has danced with love. But believe me when I say this, I have never know a beauty to equal what I see--”

“Oh Papa, I agree,” excited interjected Kyra, her eyes transfixed on the horizon.

Papa smiled again. “What I see before me, I was going to say,” Papa hesitated for effect, “on this bridge.” Kyra turned to face Papa, her eyes locking on his. “My dear child, do you know the wonder that is you?”

Kyra felt her heart in her chest. Papa’s hand was still on her shoulder and she could have swore it felt different. She couldn’t explain it; the feeling was unlike anything she had ever felt before. Her mind raced, her eyes watered. Papa glanced into her reflective deep blue eyes and marveled at the near perfect tri-moon reflection in them.

“Kyra, I have known kings and queens, I have known masters of the universe and beings capable of things most would struggle to even imagine. I have seen gifts, I have seen skill, and I have seen mastery. But I have never seen one as blessed as you.”

“Papa,” Kyra spoke in halting diction, “I don’t know what to say.”

“My child, I have waited many, many years to have this discussion with you. I’ve known from your earliest years that you were somehow different, somehow blessed with gifts few can comprehend. And tonight, well tonight is going to be a night you will never forget.”

Kyra’s eyes widen as if half her face were the reflective liquid of her soul as Papa liked to say. She felt a little dizzy, almost intoxicated with Papa’s words echoing in her mind. Her whole life, Papa had taught her lesson after lesson, skill after skill and then here he was saying there was more, that there was more because of who she was.

“Kyra, tonight I am going to take you on a journey of discovery. You have been so close before, and I have been so tempted to show you so many times, but tonight you are ready.”

“Oh Papa, where could we possibly be going this late in the evening?” Kyra teased, knowing full well the journey Papa spoke of did not involve going anywhere.

“You know me too well,” laughed Papa. “The fact of the matter is you are already there, have been for quite some time. Yet, like a jewel just under the surface of the water, the reflections of your mind have hidden this great gift from you. Let me ask you a question.”

“Oh Papa, please no more questions. For once, can you just tell me, or just show me?” begged Kyra.

“I have my dear.”

“You have?” asked Kyra, somewhat taken aback.

“I have,” smiled Papa.

“And I missed it,” said Kyra.

“For the last time my dear, for the last time. Tonight marks a turning point in your life. Few times in life can we say there was that and now there is this. Tonight is one of those rare nights. Are you ready?” asked Papa.

“I’m ready Papa.”

“Give me your hands. Tell me what you feel?”

Kyra didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary. Papa’s hands were strong and warm but then they always were. “I’m afraid I don’t feel anything,” said Kyra.

Good, thought Papa. He hadn’t done anything yet and needed to know she wouldn’t try to feel something that wasn’t there. He needed to know her mind would not form shapes in the fog.

“Kyra, relax your mind. Step outside the flow of thought. Open your heart. I want you to concentrate on my hands, feel them melt into yours.”

Kyra closed her eyes. And then, there it was. A small sensation, almost like an itch, no, more like a tingle, perhaps a small electric shock. Was this some trick Papa was performing she thought. But the sensation grew. Papa’s hands grew warmer. The feeling of warmth flooded her body. She had the sensation of weightlessness although her feet were firmly planted on the bridge. What was the sensation? She couldn’t label it, couldn’t categorize it. The feeling or sensation was something more than just a feeling. A feeling wrapped in emotion. Yet the predominant sense was one of clarity. A warm crystal clear pool. She felt like she was floating in a warm crystal clear pool on a cloudless summer day. She felt a sense of peace, a sense of satisfaction, a sense of needing nothing, of wanting nothing, a sense of completeness, a sense of truth, a sense of now.

And then Papa let go and Kyra stumbled backwards against the rail.

“Whoa,” said Kyra, unable to utter anything more profound.

Papa looked on saying nothing, just looking.

Kyra looked back. Her face flush, her cheeks red. Papa noticed she stood, however so subtle, differently--straighter, perhaps, with a touch of relaxed confidence educated with dignity and compassion.

“What just happened,” Kyra finally muttered, clearly astonished.

“We took a little journey, like I promised,” said Papa.

“Where? Where did you take me?”

“Home, Kyra. I took you home. How did it feel?”

Her head was spinning. The experience she just had defied her ability to wrap her mind around it. Like a deck of cards being shuffled, concept after concept, image after image, label after label, flew in front of her mind only to be rejected. She simply couldn’t make it fit anything she knew.

“I felt like I’ve never felt before. I can’t begin to describe it. I could give you a list of adjectives but even the sum of them would fall short,” said Kyra.

Papa laughed, “My dear, the wisest of beings I know cannot take what you felt and conceptualize it because it is greater than conceptualization. Besides, the more you think about it, the more it slips away. Stop thinking, just intuit, just feel, just relax into now, into this with no resistance, no judgment, and no expectation. Just be. Float without effect and trust you will be caught.”

“But—”

“No buts, Kyra,” intoned Papa. “The thought is never the thing—always two, never the same. As soon as you think you create separation. Your mind is a tool. Good for some things and not good for others. The mind works at one level, the heart another. Most live in their minds; prisoners of their own making, never realizing they hold the key. They live between the walls of their own making and forever feeling lost, forever searching for this or that only to find once they have this then they want that and once they have that then they want this. No one tortures one more than one’s own mind. You must learn to see it for what it is—a tool of the lower order. We need it to function in this world, but it will never take us home and it will never take us to truth, which is to say it will never take us to love.”

Kyra had never heard Papa talk quite like this. She felt as if he were lifting her to a higher duty, a higher level of being and with it a higher level of responsibility.

“Papa, what did you do to me with your hands?”

“I opened a door that only few can open. You, my dear, are one of those few. We started our evening with the question of then what. But I ask you a more profound question. What is love?”

“Love is truth and truth is love, you have always said that Papa.”

“That is true, but tell me child, is love and truth just words, just concepts, just more ideas?”

“What I felt a few minutes ago had nothing to do with words, or concepts or ideas,” said Kyra.

“What do you think you felt?”

“I don’t know Papa, other than to say it was good, good in a way beyond good, beyond my ability to give words to it.”

“Let me break my cardinal rule. Listen with your heart, not your mind, because your mind will resist all that I am about to say.”

Reading Part 1:

Reading Part 2:

89. Moonrise

The evening air refreshed body and soul. Each breath cleansed worry and doubt from weary and burdened travelers. Valla had that ability and perhaps why Papa spent so much time there. To their right, Hyneria’s three moons rose with dignity, casting a warm glow on sea and skin alike. Papa and Kyra walked in silence, if one did not count the symphony of waves bowing at their feet, nature’s red carpet.

“This way Kyra. We don’t want to miss the view from the bridge tonight, a rare three moonrise,” said Papa.

88. Then What?

“Kyra, are you excited about entering university next year?”

“Very much so Papa.”

“Decided on a course of study yet?”

“Aesthetic Philosophy of the Second Order, at least that’s my fancy today.”

“Ahh, wonderful choice. I always found the Second Order much more interesting than the First. You must study Luin. Be careful, she has a very seductive mind. Many have entered and few have returned,” laughed Papa.

Kyra smiled back as they walked the warm clay-like beaches around Valla. Leaving for university next year excited and saddened her all at once. University would be a whole new world, a new chapter in her life but it also meant leaving Valla and leaving Papa.

“I’m going to miss you Papa.”

“I’m only a teleport away. Besides, we will always have 10pm,” responded Papa.

Kyra smiled. When she was younger Papa had calmed her fears of separation with a simple story of the moon. “Each night,” he said, “look into the heavens and find the moon. The light you see is the love I am sending your way.”

“Kyra?”

“Yes Papa?”

“I have a question for you.”

Whenever Papa started a conversation with “I have a question for you” and then paused, she knew he was about the knock at the doors of her mind, a knock that always delighted her with discovery as only Papa could do.

“Once you graduate, then what?”

“Find a job,” answered Kyra.

“Once you have that job, then what?”

“Establish my career, perhaps meet a nice boy, get married, raise a family. All the standard stuff,” said Kyra, completely puzzled as to where this conversation was going.


“Once you have established your career, married, raised a family, then what?” Papa was nothing if not persistent and surgical in his Socratic method of dialogue.

“Papa, I’m afraid you’ve lost me on these questions. I’m not sure what you’re looking for here.”

“Let me put it another way. When you are hungry what do you do?”

Kyra hesitated, “Eat?”

“Yes, eat. And once you have eaten, then what?”

“Then I wash the dishes, return to my studies, perhaps take a walk, feed my Juju birds, play with our pampus, read a bit,” answered Kyra with just a touch of frustration in her voice.

“Kyra, if you want to study aesthetic philosophy of the second order you are going to have to do better than this. Try again. No don’t try. In fact stop trying. Let the questions I’ve been asking soak into your mind. Things are never what they appear to be. There is icing and there is cake. Two yet one. Look for the cake in my questions but don’t forget the icing. What is between the cake and the icing? Think without thinking.”

Kyra felt her mind moving in a daze. Papa had that effect. Like looking into the fog, knowing, just beyond sight was something majestic, Papa’s questions took her to that magical place in her mind. Yet, the fog frustrated her. The harder she tried to see the more delusion set in, the more her mind tried to make shapes out of thin air.

“Let’s keep walking,” said Papa.

Papa knew the body needed the mind and the mind the body. When one got stuck you got the other in motion. Motion beget motion. Walking, especially the walking they were doing, the walking he had taught Kyra, walking without footprints, this kind of walking would move the mind forward. The mind needed space, it needed openness and it needed to lose itself in possibilities. Walking would help. And so they walked.

“Papa, I’m not seeing anything. Can you just tell me what you want me to know?”

“I could.”

“Well?”

“It doesn’t work that way Kyra. You know that.”

You could have heard the sigh a mile away. She knew Papa would say he could but couldn’t. Wasn’t the first time she had asked. To be told something was one thing, to discover it something entirely different. Papa put little value on the former and treated the latter like hidden treasure.

“Ok Papa, once I figure this out, then what?”

“Exactly my child, then what!?”

Unsure of what she had just said Kyra offered, “I move on to something else.”

“Are you asking me or telling me,” responded Papa.

Straightening her back and lifting her chin slightly, the moonlight highlighted her pristine porcelain cheeks. Papa couldn’t help but marvel at the pure beauty in Kyra’s face. “I’m telling you . . . I think,” laughed Kyra.

“Okay, let me change the subject,” said Papa.

Kyra laughed, “Now who is kidding who,” playfully poking him in the ribs, hoping changing the subject really meant changing the subject but as she often learned, Papa never really changed the subject; he just attacked from a different angle.

“Kyra,” Papa’s tone changed. She couldn’t quite define how it changed, not good or bad, just different. The tone communicated. Like lightning the image of that thought left a trace. Her mind strained to see what was no longer there. So close. How could a single word, her name, take her so close. But it wasn’t the word, it wasn’t her name, it was the tone. Something different, yet the same. Two, yet one. So close. The fog seemed to part. A shape, but was it real or just her imagination.

“If I could give you everything you desire—would you take it?”

“As in right now?”

“Yes, as in right now. I snap my fingers and you have your degree, a beautiful house, successful career, loving husband, wonderful children, all the money you could ever want. Would you take it?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I would miss the experience, the memories, the challenges. I would miss life. It’s not--”

“Not what Kyra?”

“Life is not in a,” she paused, “destination, the achievement of a goal, the accumulation of accomplishments,” said Kyra.
Papa stood silent.

“There is no then what is there?”

Papa smiled, “Do you want to continue?”

Kyra felt the rush of adrenaline that rode on the back of discovery. “Yes. As a matter of fact I think I do.”

“Then let’s keep walking. Our journey tonight has just begun.”

87. Tears for Tears

“Thanks for coming so quickly,” said Trev.

“What’s happening?” asked Kyra.

“Let’s walk to the lab. I’ve got something I need to show you.”

“Trev, don’t play games with me. Is the agent working or not?”

“It appears--”

Kyra’s blank expression caught him off guard. “It appears not to be working,” said Trev, articulating each word with leaden slowness.

Standing in the hall, half way between the iso ward and Trev’s lab, what must have been just a second or two seemed like an eternity. That single word not altered the perception of time. Three letters. Three tiny letters set off a chain reaction of thought, of options, of meaning, of fear, of determination. They had come too far, overcome too many obstacles for that tiny little word to get in the way.

“What do you mean appears?"

“Well . . .”

“Well?”

“Kyra.” Trev just couldn’t get the words out. His eyes searched hers for understanding. She was forcing his hand, making him appear to be the bad guy.

“Kyra, I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Tell me what you know. Stick to the facts.”

“Okay,” sighed Trev, dropping his shoulders. “I know Kieran is in the final stages of the virus. I know it has penetrated his bone marrow and caused one of his two hearts to shut down. I know there is no known case in the records of a patient surviving when the virus reaches this stage.”

Kyra sensed there was more. Sensed Trev was holding back. She didn’t say anything but then she didn’t have to—the look in her eyes and the silence of her tongue told Trev the ball was still in his court; told him she knew there was more and she wasn’t going anywhere until she got it.

“Damn you Kyra, it’s not my fault. I didn’t give Kieran the virus. I’ve done everything in my power to save him.” Trev was mortified. The last thing he wanted to do in front of the woman he desired was to look like a blithering fool, bearer of bad news and apparently incompetent to boot. Somehow he had achieved all three in the space of ten seconds.

Kyra’s eyes watered. She opened her arms and wrapped them around Trev. “Trev,” she whispered in his ear, “no one is blaming you. I know you’ve done everything Hynerianly possible.”

“I’m so sorry Kyra. I wish there was something I could do. The agent was our last and best hope. I’ve tested it. It’s not the agent. I hate to say . . .”

“Don’t say it Trev. We all knew we were in a battle for time. No one could have controlled the atmospheric Tears on Neraj. Hell, it was a miracle Rog and Em were even able to procure the agent in the first place. Now, you called me down here for a reason. What is it?”

Trev starred. He had never been so close to those beautiful blue eyes, had never felt Kyra’s arms wrapped around him. Her body was so taut, so lithe. Her eyes were not just blue but brilliant sparkling blue. Her beauty, he thought, rested in what appeared to be perfect symmetry of features. Black hair, black leather, pressing against him.

Like a dart from the dark he heard his name. “Trev. Are you going to answer me?”

He relaxed his arms as a conflicted sense of shame and guilt washed over him. How could he possibly be thinking of Kyra in that way at this time.

“What is it Trev?”

“I called you down so you could be with Kieran one last time. I thought you would want that opportunity, to say goodbye.” Trev broke the embrace, his eyes wandering aimlessly on the floor.

Kyra stepped back. Her eyes not breaking contact with Trev. “He’s still alive, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then we still have a chance.”

Shaking his head from side to side Trev uttered, “I wish it were so.”

“Don’t you give up on me now. We don’t give up until there is nothing left and I mean nothing. Do you understand me.”

Trev stood speechless. He knew it was hopeless. She had a chance to say goodbye but that was it.

“Trev, sit down. There is something I need to tell you.”

“I know.”

“Know what?”

“I know what you are going to tell me.”

Kyra paused, searching Trev’s face for some clue as to what he thought he knew.

“And that is?”

“That you have feelings for Kieran. Strong feelings.”

“Oh really.”

“It’s obvious Kyra. Why do you think I called you down here and no one else?”

“I do care deeply for Kieran but that’s not what I was going to say nor is it any of your business nor what is most urgent at this moment.”

Trev felt like an idiot. Could she see right through him? How selfish could he be? How stupid could he be? How much damage could he do to his reputation in a few short minutes?

“I’m sorry Kyra--”

“Damn it Trev, stop apologizing for every little thing and shut up and listen. I don’t have time to beat around the bush. I need you to get the entire crew down here right now.”

86. Not Good

Animus in action. No known case on record showed this deep a penetration into a live patient. Trev couldn't explain why Kieran was still alive nor could he offer Kyra any hope the agent of retribution would work. In fact, it appeared not to be working at all.

85. Trev

First known sketch of Trev.

84. Swimming in your Soul (Part 1)

“Come in Yul. What’s the update?” asked Kyra.

“Trev is administering the agent of retribution as we speak. Rog and Emy looked pretty excited to be back, don’t you think?”

“I’m sorry Yul, what did you say?”

“You miss him don’t you.”

“Rog?”

“No, Kieran.”

“What makes you say that.”

“Are you kidding me,” laughed Yul. “Look at your hands. Disinterest doesn’t do that.”

Kyra smiled.

“Sit down Yul. Tell me what you see.”

“Permission to speak freely?”

“Yes Yul, always. Please.”

“We all appreciate the burden you carry and quite frankly I’m not sure where we would be without you Kyra. But you are as Hynerian as the rest of us.”

Kyra leaned forward in her chair, her eyes slightly wide and focused on Yul. Those brilliant blue eyes framed by strands of silky black hair that fell loosely over her reddish cheeks. Regal even in repose, thought Yul.

Tilting her head slightly to the right, her eyes softening as if to say I understand, Yul asked, “Did you tell him?”

Kyra starred straight ahead as if she was looking right through Yul. Here but not here in a moment. Yul felt a book in that vacant look and wondered if she had been too presumptuous.

“I’m sorry Kyra. I didn’t mean to pry.”

“No, no not at all. I’m just a little stunned and confused and lost all at once. I’m experiencing emotions with a strength and ferocity I’ve never felt before and they seem to be muddying the waters of my mind.”

Yul’s eyes narrowed, her lips rolled together and cheek bones rose slightly.

Kyra hesitated.

“And no, I didn’t tell him. I had just about worked up my nerve when you came in with news of Rog.”

“Oh Kyra.”

“You didn’t know Yul. How could you. Can I ask you a question?”

“Anything Kyra.”

“Have you ever been in love?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me.”

“What would you like to know?”

“How did you know?”

“Know?”

“How did you know it was love and not some silly infatuation?”

“Oh. Well, I’m not sure how to answer. Not sure I know the answer. Not sure anyone does. The feeling does not loan itself to words. Love is in the spaces between the words, between the notes as they say. As soon as you try to use words the essence slips away like water through a fist. I hate to say you just know but . . .”

Kyra just sat.

“Kyra, let me put it this way. You are at Valla. First visit since winter has passed. You rise early, walk the path to the beach. Barefoot, you walk to the water, warm sand underfoot. The sun smoothly peeks over the horizon. There is not another soul in sight. Simultaneously the warm water laps at your ankles while the cool fresh air of dawn awakens your senses like a hot cup of snizzle. Your out-breath is more of a sigh, and with that sigh the thought occurs that life is about as good as it gets. Now imagine if every breath brought that feeling.”

Kyra thought for a second. “Would you say love is a timeless, needless space?”

“Never heard it put that way. Not sure I understand needless.”

“Papa often tried to help me see the folly of desire, the endlessness of desire and the foolishness of chasing it. He told me, “Kyra, satisfy one desire and two more will take its place.” When I think of Kieran, all the things I think I need or want drop away, almost as if the one desire to hold his hand, to stand with him in silence, sucks the air out of every other want.”

“Mmm, sounds like just another desire.”

“I know. Yet . . .”

“Yet, it’s different somehow.”

“Yes, different. Or perhaps just a subtle rationalization covering the most baseless and shameless selfishness.”

“Perhaps. Then again . . .”

“I don’t know. I just don’t know Yul. I had the most selfish thoughts in the iso ward.”

“Kyra, can I tell you something?”

“Please.”

“You think too much. Love is not in thinking. Thinking misses the spaces. What happens if you stop thinking?”

“Go on.”

“I’m serious. Stop thinking. Stop mind mapping. Stop analyzing. Stop beating yourself up. Stop doubting. Stop the mental gymnastics. Let go of your need to know. Can you just let go?”

Kyra sat stunned. For the second time in twenty-four hours someone had told her to let go. Was she so obvious in her grasping, so transparent in her selfish neediness.

“There you go again. Stop it. You will never find love in a word. Words are just words and love is something other. You sense it in a look or a touch. As my nanny use to say, ‘Love is a verb dear, not a noun.’ ”

Kyra smiled. “Thank you Yul.”

“For what?”

“For being honest and direct with me.”

“Kyra, I don’t mean to interrupt,” said Goldie, "but Trev says he needs you in the iso ward right now.”

Kyra looked at Yul.

“Go. And leave the thinking here. All you need bring is your heart. Oh, and Kyra.”

“Yes?”

“Let go of everything you know. Dissolve into the flow. Let love carry you. If you try to carry it, it will crush you.”

83. DNA and Q-scans and K-rays

Kieran's DNA reading. Why Trev found this interesting is not known.

Q-scan Trev took of Kieran's one functioning heart. Dark colors are good. Light colors signal disease. V-rate was off the charts. How this heart was surviving defied explanation.

Red is good. Green is bad. This is the last known K-ray Trev took of Kieran and the effects of the animus virus prior to injection of the agent of retribution.

82. All Things Kyra

First known sketch of Kyra

All things known (so far) about Kyra: (updating through the day)

(1) Hynerian
(2) Parents were marine biologists (not home much)
(3) Primarily raised by her grandparents
(4) Papa Kyra (Zeke) was a famous Zing Tao master of the ninth order
(5) Leader of Bravo-Four-Zero
(6) Possessed initiative in spades
(7) Not overly aggressive
(8) Not terribly charismatic (this may change)
(9) Not one to socialize
(10) Spends lot of time in her quarters
(11) Has her childhood shell collection onboard
(12) Spent a lot of time at the family retreat on Valla cove
(13) Papa helped her collect and build her shell project
(14) She loved the beach and the retreat
(15) She valued the peace and quiet and reflective, introspective atmosphere at Valla
(16) Papa bequeathed his prized Blue Onyx ring to Kyra when she came of age
(17) She always wore the ring on a chain around her neck
(18) She never ever took it off
(19) Much of what she knows and who she is comes from Papa and his lessons
(20) Papa and Kyra were rarely seen apart
(21) "Trust not the eye alone" was a phrase she heard repeatedly from Papa
(22) Kyra's imagination amazed her crew mates
(23) Papa built Goldie for Kyra
(24) Goldie was built in Grandma Kyra's likeness
(25) Papa finished Goldie within six months of grandma passing away
(26) This was Papa's way to right the injustice of Kyra losing her grandmother so soon
(27) Kyra had onboard every postcard, letter and note Papa had written to her
(28) Kyra had struggled to find a Hynerian that matched her Papa
(29) She often wondered if her sights and expectations were too high
(30) She agonized on whether her expectations led her to pass on happiness
(31) She loved snizzle in the morning
(32) She drank her snizzle in a handmade off-white cup
(33) She missed Papa very much
(34) His scent was still found on the postcards and she often closed her eyes and with one breath he was clearly near again
(35) Kyra had her Juju birds onboard
(36) Papa had used Juju birds in Kyra's studies
(37) In addition to Papa's ring, Kyra also had Grand's brooch
(38) Grandma Kyra had given Kyra the brooch on her death bed
(39) The brooch personified the love Papa had for Grand
(40) She gave it to Kyra to "close the circle"
(41) "When you hold this brooch, you hold love"
(42) "“I love you my dear sweet child. Keep this brooch. Hold it close to your heart and know that the gleam of light in your eye is the sparkle of my soul forever protecting you with the shield of love given to me by your papa and which I now bestow upon you."
(43) Kyra's quarters on Bravo-Four-Zero comprised an entire wall as a picture window to the universe
(44) She spends a great deal of time gazing in amazement at the wonders before her
(45) Kyra is 5'6" tall
(46) She has coal black hair that falls just below her shoulder blades
(47) She mostly wore her hair "up"
(48) She has brilliant sparkling blue eyes
(49) Showcased with picture perfect cheeks
(50) She is in her late twenties
(51) Kyra had a natural curiosity
(52) Her body was hewn by years of loving "Zing Tao" practice/play
(53) She had the strength and skill of a third year Zing Tao novice by the time she entered university
(54) Kyra's natural abilities exceeded Papa's and he knew it
(55) Papa knew she has "the gift" that no amount of teaching could bestow
(56) Kyra could master the way as no Hynerian before if she choose to apply herself
(57) Kyra was striking in her presence
(58) One knew when she walked into a room
(59) She was not a wordy Hynerian
(60) Her eyes were set slightly wide
(61) Although her personality was not charismatic, her physical presence did command attention in a charismatic way
(62) She did not seek leadership of Bravo-Four-Zero
(63) She did, however, not resist her natural place when acknowledged by the others as the one to lead them
(64) She is at the peak of her physical powers
(65) Her power is more than just the physical
(66) Her mental strength far surpasses her physical abilities
(67) Kyra was not one to beat around the bush
(68) She did have a very playful sense of humor
(69) Small talk was a waste of time in her eyes
(70) She enjoyed philosophical conversation
(71) She walked with the grace and prowess of a jungle cat
(72) She had long agile fingers
(73) She loved to wear form-fitting black leather
(74) She had a wicked grin, when the situation called for it
(75) Clear awareness of how she comes across
(76) Kyra has a natural ability to read faces for the truth
(77) Papa always said she would have made one kickass interrogator
(78) She is older than Trev but younger than Rog
(79) She has a holographic helmet she uses for meditation exercises
(80) She could breath with the grace and elegance of a Zing Tao master
(81) Papa taught her general principles of leadership
(82) She does not micro manage
(83) Papa also taught Kyra how to "walk"
(84) Kyra had feelings for Kieran
(85) She was not immune from those feelings overwhelming her
(86) She had never shared those feelings with anyone
(87) She loved the Pufferbills and the time alone with Papa
(88) She makes it to earth

Father and Son

C and I headed to Chattanooga earlier in the week for a little father and son time together. This picture was taken inside the Aquarium. My camera shy son refused to look into the camera or allow me to take any more photos of him. So, I took about a bazillion more like this of just me. :-D

He seems to enjoy and appreciate time with just dad. I think we will do this again before the river of time flows beyond my reach.

Live the Dream

Please welcome the newest member of my team (my real life job). Karen is a 17 year cancer survivor and the president and founder of the Ivan and Sam Foundation, an organization devoted to helping children with cancer and their families fight this terrible disease.

From her website:

Life was good again until her early twenties when Karen was diagnosed with cancer. For a brief moment her world once again, stopped. Karen went through radical treatments and surgeries until she was cancer free.

But true to herself and to those around her, she showed that she would not be deterred from doing what she loved. In May 1998, Karen attended the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life. This event spawned a life-changing move that would forever change Karen’s career, her life, her faith and all those involved – she for the first time walked the survivors lap.

With A New Light

Two years later, Karen returned to the studio. After meeting with Independent Record Label, Rogue Records President and Producer Lee Davis of Atlanta, Georgia, Karen teamed up with writers and began a new album – This time, it was the secular world of music calling Karen. One of her penned songs was based on the Relay for Life event she experienced two years earlier. The song was called “Live The Dream” and its message reached out to all cancer survivors and families of cancer victims. “The song not a typical country song, but one that crossed over into the Christian sector of music. It was a song about hope. With that song, I found a way to help millions who suffer from cancer and to help their families find comfort and hope,” stated Karen. The song became a national theme to thousands of survivors at the nearly 4000 Relay’s for Life across America.

Live the Dream

Everyday a life is touched
By darkness and despair
Tears of pain we cannot understand
Yet through unity we bring
The strength of all our dreams
Our hands, our hearts, our hopes, our
Prayers of peace
(Chorus)
For now the time has come to believe in the light
A light that shines so far beyond the dark
If we all reach out and sing
To create the harmony
The we all can join as one
And Live the Dream
Small flames become a glow
That the wind of life can't blow
This beacon holds the spirit of our hope
As we celebrate the lives
With courage and with pride
Hearts touch hearts as we walk the walk for life
(Chorus)
Let's light the candles and hold each others' hands
Walking toward our dreams
Singing all the way
"We Can"
(Chorus)
Then we all can join as one and live the dream

Blunt on DVD

Thanks Sunshine for the heads-up. The DVD arrived today and the video is just superb!

81. Grandma Kyra

80. The Interview Part II (cont)

T: Please continue.

K: About that time Kieran woke. His was facing away from me but must have sense my presence because he turned toward me immediately.

T: What did you say?

K: Didn’t say anything. Just smiled through the tears forming in my eyes.

T: Tears of joy?

K: Tears of confusion.

T: Explain.

K: Happy he was awake. Sad he might not live much longer. Frustrated there was nothing I could do. Conflicted on what I should share or say with regard to both Rog and myself. I had always been very direct and honest in my relationships and for the first time felt to withhold information might be the wisest choice.

T: I’m listening.

K: My heart spoke otherwise. And then he lifted his arm and held his hand out and my heart jumped into my throat. To hold one’s hand has great significance for me. Kieran and I had never held hands. I had dreamed of it and then, here we were.

T: Describe the moment.

K: [laughter] Damn disappointing. My hands were bandaged from my foolishness of a few hours before. Imagine shaking hands with gloves on.

T: But still . . .

K: But still, it was wonderful. Despite his condition his grip was still firm, still conveyed a soul with life, not someone ready to give up. I wasn’t sure who derived more from that simple embrace. I do know that grasp comforted, however temporary, many of my fears.

T: Who spoke first?

K: He did. Noticed the tears in my eyes. Asked why.

T: And you said?

K: I hesitated. His eyes were locked on mine and I felt as if he could see right through me.

T: Why the hesitation?

K: I don’t know. Didn’t know then either. I knew I had to tell him everything—direct and honest, no half-truths, no pampus shiott. Yet the words . . . well, the words, like my body outside the door just a few minutes before, failed to respond.

T: Must have been awkward.

K: Was. Till he smiled that swimmingly handsome smile. And then the tears just flowed. His grip on my hand increased slightly and his eyes never left mine. And then he asked.

T: Yes.

K: He asked for a full and complete update. So I told him Rog had secured the medicine but had been trapped on Neraj. I told him we had no contact with Rog since the Tear closed and no idea when he would be able to return. I told him there was a chance the virus would overwhelm him before Rog could return.

T: How did he respond to that news?

K: He said thanks. Thanks for being straight up. And then he asked me how long Trev thought he had.

T: And?

K: I told him. A matter of hours. And I told him he was a very lucky Hynerian. He laughed and asked why.

T: Yes, I’m asking too [laughter].

K: If he had been a normal Hynerian he would have died. Only the fluke deformity of two hearts saved him. I did tell you we valued those children of the shells as rare and special. Well, in this case, it saved his life.

T: Was he surprised you knew?

K: He knew Trev would know as soon as he examined him. Then he said something I’ll never forget. I can hear it in my mind as if he had just whispered in my ear.

T: Well . . .?

K: He said, “Let go.”

T: Let go? Let go of what?

K: [laughing] That’s exactly what I thought. Again, I felt like his eyes saw straight into my heart so I was a bit concerned by what he meant.

T: So what did he mean?

K: He saw the confusion in my eyes. Told me to let go of my attachment.

T: Attachment to what?

K: That’s what I asked him and he asked, no he told me, my tears betrayed me. He told me my tears clouded more than my vision but they clouded my heart. I was ready to argue with him when he dropped the second bombshell of a statement on me.

T: Which was?

K: He needed me now and he needed me here. That unless my tears were tears of joy, which he and I knew they weren’t, then I was not what he needed at this exact moment and since his moments were perhaps down to hours . . .

T: Sounds rather harsh on his part.

K: It was the slap in the face I needed. I was not too proud to admit when I was wrong nor too proud to pretend to be the stronger of the two at this moment. So I asked him to enlighten me because I wasn’t completely sure I understood what he meant.

T: Please continue.

K: My head was spinning. Here was a Hynerian on pain killing meds, perhaps within hours of meeting the great Janus and he is as lucid and wise and philosophical as ever—educating me—he is thinking of me—in his last moments. Do you have any idea what that feels like?

T: I can’t say I do.

K: Well, it was mind blowing. They say truth is stranger than fiction. Then we entered a very deep discussion of life and death. I felt like I was at the feet of Papa again on the beaches of Valla during a rare three moon evening.

T: Can you share a little of that discussion?

K: Sure but I have to warn you we could spend all night talking about his insights.

T: I’m not going anywhere.

K: Well, I’ll keep it brief. He starts by telling me he is at peace. Peace with living intensely in this moment unlike he has ever lived before. I told him I didn’t quite understand and he smiled. He said he didn’t quite understand either forty-eight hours before. Oh, he had been taught these things and could have given the right answer on a test but that at this moment his understanding was at a different level.

He must have seen the look on my face so he continued.

Holding my hand with such a firm yet light grip I felt as if the very essence of his energy was flowing from him to me. How that was possible was a mind-*uck for me at the time. I felt lightheaded, I felt seduced, I felt guilty at the self indulgence I allowed myself to slip into but above all I felt a connection with another, an intensity of communication I had never felt before and even to this day do not have the words to adequately describe.

“Nothing stays the same Kyra. Not me, not you, not us. Everything changes in every moment. Die to the past, you must. Celebrate the birth of the present by holding tomorrow at bay. Stay present with me now. Live with me these moments now. And by Janus, stop attaching to an outcome. Outcomes are important but the attachment to outcomes are a fools game. Let go of your attachment to an outcome. As long as you hold onto something which is forever moving, forever changing, you will suffer the pain of incongruity. Flow with the present. Change with it. Resistance is futile,” he said with a wink.

T: Did you understand what he meant by the difference between an outcome and the attachment to an outcome?

K: Dissolve into now was the only thought going thought my head. Other than the concern that I wasn't sure I could do it. I was awestruck that he could.

T: Getting back to the difference between—

K: Yes, yes, I haven’t forgotten your question. Just recently your entertainment industry celebrated something called the Oscars. Is that right?

T: Yes.

K: And these awards are voted on and someone is awarded a little gold statue.

T: In a manner of speaking yes.

K: And would you say much importance is placed on who wins, much anticipation, much worry and concern.

T: I think that would be fair, yes.

K: Now let me ask you this, “Does the award change the work?”

T: No.

K: That is my answer.

T: Fair enough. Anything else you want to share about the discussion on life and death?

K: Well, for whatever reason, in the midst of that discussion he thought to ask me why my hands were bandaged.

T: What did you say?

K: Interesting dilemma. So far I had been completely forthright in answering his questions. No little white lies or half-truths. And in a split second I was either going to be consistent or go down a different path.

T: Would it be so bad to withhold the contents of your heart?

K: That’s not the question and if you think it is you are confused.

T: Okay, I’m confused. Enlighten me as you say.

K: The content of my heart is one thing. The character, something completely different. The question at hand—I knew it and I knew he knew it—was a question of character, not content.

T: So you had no choice—

K: We always have choice my dear.

T: So?

K: So I decided to choose character.

T: Which meant?

K: I was going to be completely honest on what happened and why. He was going to know how I felt.

T: Quite a risk on your part.

K: The risk would have been to do otherwise.

T: So you told him.

K: No.

T: [eyebrows raised]

K: Yul interrupted. Said she had an urgent message. So I politely excused myself.

T: What was the urgent message?

K: Rog was near but in trouble. She needed my help.

79. Return?

“Yul, do you read me,” said Rog.

“Loud and clear darlin’. I must say I don’t think your voice has ever sounded quite so good. ETA?”

“Slap that homing vector on my little pod Yul and I’ll be onboard before you forget just how good I sound. Should I expect a little--”

“Uhmmm, let me think about that. No.”

“You were breaking up on me Yul, was that a yes.”

“You’re incorrigible you know that.”

“So I’m told. An acquired taste I’d like to think. Can you put Kyra on?”

“She’s in with Kieran at the moment.”

“Let her know we got the medicine. Have Trev meet me in the landing bay. And tell him to be careful. This stuff doesn’t like sudden movement.

“Roger that Rog,” laughed Yul. “You know I always wanted to say that.”

“Very funny hon. Not now Snazzle,” said Rog.

“Rog,” interrupted Em, “I think you better take a look at the monitor.”

“Yul, what the . . .”

“Rog, are you there.”

“Yul, lock on. Yul, can you hear me. Yul?”

“Damn, Em. Hang tight. Snazzle, manual override. Now Snazzle!”

The Family

Chloe












Frankie


















Angel














Maria

Maria's Daddy

Mario

Good Morning

Wishing all a day filled with wonder and joy. And a special congrats to my friend Linny for sharing her incredible gift of observation and wit with all of us. You are a jewel my friend. All the best.

PS: James Blunt on Oprah today.

Dana Reeve Dies at Age 44

This is why we fight. Sad news indeed.

Story here


From my August 9th post:

Dana Reeve, 44, just ten months after her husband Christopher Reeve passed away, has learned she has lung cancer. She displayed great courage and devotion to Christopher throughout his illness and death and now must summon the strength just a few months later to wage a battle for her very own life.

Dana is a non-smoker and at such a young age, we see once again this terrible disease attacking those we would least expect. One can only imagine the pain and anguish between mother and son tonight. Dana's son, Will, is 13. What that young man is experiencing is beyond my comprehension. To lose his dad, and now, today, to learn his mother has cancer. Thoughts and prayers to two courageous and caring individuals as they face another agonizing battle.

In her own words: "I hope before too long to be sharing news of my good health and recovery."

"Now, more than ever, I feel Chris with me as I face this challenge," said the 44-year-old actress. "As always, I look to him as the ultimate example of defying the odds with strength, courage, and hope."


ABC News
Official Press Release--CNN
San Diego Union Tribune

78. 11:59

The Interview: Part II

T: Must have been nerve racking not knowing when Rog and Em would make it back with the medicine, knowing the clock was ticking and Kieran was down to perhaps hours.

K: Hard to explain. So many conflicting emotions—good and not so good.

T: Explain what you mean by “not so good.”

K: I knew Kieran could very well die in the next few hours yet I could not banish my own selfish desires to unveil my heart. The rationalizing that took place in my mind was unlike anything I had ever seen. Papa had taught me well how to stand outside the stream of thought, to observe it and see it move, see it change, to not identify with it, not to attach to it. Yet, I felt like I was in, how do you say it, no-man’s land between conflicting emotions.

T: Can you describe what you mean by conflicting emotions?

K: My mind was racing you see. On the one hand I knew I had to regain my composure as the de facto leader of Bravo-Four-Zero. I was well aware that Trev and Mel had seen a side of me they had never seen before. Quite frankly, I was embarrassed that I had lost control and I worried what they thought. Leadership is a funny thing. I couldn’t well expect my colleagues to remain cool under pressure when I wasn’t. I also knew it was silly to be wasting time on what they may or may not have thought at this point.

T: Was that it?

K: [laughter] Oh, that wasn’t even the beginning.

T: Please continue.

K: I felt fear like I had never felt it before. The emotions from a few hours ago were still fresh and not all that far from the surface of my mind. I feared they would overwhelm me again, that I would lose control again. I never knew how strongly I felt about Kieran until that moment at the window.

T: Sounds perfectly natural.

K: Do you see the pattern here? Think for a second. Think about what I’ve told you. About Papa. What he taught me.

T: Not sure I follow.

K: Every emotion positioned me at the center of the universe. Me, me, me. My image. My love. My needs. My wants. My view. My vanity. My fear.

T: Oh.

K: See the pattern?

T: Now that you mention it. But it . . .

K: No buts. That wasn’t me. That wasn’t the granddaughter Zeke had raised. I hardly recognized myself and it made me sick to my stomach. And yet.

T: And yet what?

K: And yet the relentless assault of emotions continued unabated. I did rather admire the utter uncompromising and ruthless nature they exhibited. May we all be so resolute.

T: Interesting view.

K: Never mind that. Let me get to the story.

T: My pardon.

K: So I decided to go see Kieran. Not sure where that decision came from but the next thing I knew, as if my body was acting on its own, I had gotten Trev to agree to let me in and I was walking down the corridor to the iso ward. That’s when I came to the door.

T: Which door is this?

K: The same bloody door, no pun intended, I had knocked myself out trying to open.

T: Yes.

K: Well, here is the irony.

T: I don’t see it.

K: I’m standing in front of the door. It’s unlocked. And I just froze. My mind said open the door and my body refused to respond. Have you ever thought what it would be like to try and lift your arm and your arm didn’t move? Think about that.

T: So you didn’t go in and see Kieran?

K: I didn’t say that.

T: You’re right. Please accept my apologies. May I ask you a question that’s been eating at me since yesterday?

K: Absolutely.

T: Did your perception of Kieran change when you found out he had two hearts, that he was a child of the shells?

K: No. Why would it?

T: Seems like he would have been seen as . . .

K: As what?

T: Well, as not normal.

K: And?

T: I would think it would have changed your view of him.

K: It did. He was that special shell Papa held to the sun, that rare shell of inestimable value. One in a million.

T: The admiration still sparkles in your eye today.

K: [smiles] What can I say. I was head over pampus boots.

T: So you are standing at the door.

K: Yes. I’m standing at the door and my mind is saying open the door but my body won’t respond. I’d never had a time in my life where my body refused to respond to my command.

T: So what did you do?

K: About that time Trev came up behind me and he must have seen my dilemma.

T: Do you think he knew?

K: Knew what?

T: How you felt about Kieran.

K: He knew something wasn’t right with me but I don’t think he knew. I think he felt I was still in some sort of shock.

T: So Trev comes up and?

K: He says “boo.”

T: What?

K: He broke the trance I was in. I had to laugh but it worked. I reached out, opened the door and walked in.

T: Alone?

K: You're learning fast [laughter]. My fear came too. The two of us, standing side by side next to the bed.

T: Was Kieran awake?

K: Not at first. I stood and just gazed at his angelic face. Part of me wanted to wake him, to see his beautiful, bright intelligent eyes. I wanted to see the life in them, I wanted them to see me, to reflect my image. Oh hell, I wanted him to sense what was pounding in my heart.

T: The pattern.

K: Yep. I was fully aware. Queen of the universe. If my hands hadn’t been bandaged I would have been tempted to slap myself. But then the fear beside me whispered ever so slightly. Whispered the most horrible things.

T: Such as?

K: This is it. Those eyes will never see light again, will never see you again. The image you see before you is the same one you will see at his service. Steel yourself, there are others to think about.

T: That doesn’t sound like fear.

K: He brought his friend. Guilt. Odd pair but they were tag-teaming me.

T: Did you blame yourself?

K: Oh hell no. We never did discover how we got the virus onboard or why Kieran was the only one affected.

T: Why the guilt?

K: Selfishness. Rog and Em were in danger too. Who knows what had happened in that Tear but I wasn’t thinking about them and their lives and I knew it. I wasn’t really thinking about Kieran either. I was thinking about me. I wanted Kieran to live for me. That’s where guilt made himself known. I practically invited him in and he made himself at home.




(to be continued)

Quick Survey

Two ways to go with the next chapter: (1) Back to our normal "real time" prose; or (2) The Interview Part II. I'm leaning toward the latter but don't want to overuse the technique. Give me your feedback in the comments.

Btw, next chapter sees Kyra at Kieran's bedside. Does she or doesn't she tell him how she feels. You can share your opinion on that one too. I'm torn.

Thanks George

Challenges

I grow through practice and meeting challenge, rather than floating in a lotus position and humming a be here now mantra.

Living in the present is only the beginning. It is a base of operation. This is where the adventure exists.

We are not plants or vegetables. We are active co-creators of this universe, of this world.

If now is not the time for open response to the world, no time ever is.

George Breed

Kieran

The Kieran chapter, four posts down, is now complete for those faithful followers of the story. In a exclusive interview Kyra gave on earth, we learn the details of those fateful few days. Quite extraordinary. Enjoy.

I'll be back

Pink

The passionate red of sky,
a trip down memory lane.
Green pastures beneath my feet
you by my side,
I trace the contours of your face
with the fingertips from my mind.
I recall,
sweet passion,
lingering moments,
The delicate fragrance of you.

Leigh

Update from Oxford

Posted on the University of Oxford Department of Chemistry website.

New Update (Dec 2005) - Pancreatic Cancer project results presented at AACR-NCI-EORTC Molecular Targets Meeting Nov 2005

"quote - Using Screensaver Lifesaver / LigandFit technology, we have identified three promising leads Mol597, Mol238 and Mol628 for urokinase inhibition. Based on the docking studies these molecules show high potential as uPA inhibitors. These molecules can be used as lead molecules for the design of better uPA inhibitors as potential anti-cancer therapeutic agents. We are synthesizing these molecules and testing them for biological activity. "

To all my fabulous friends on this incredible international team, keep those mosheens crunching. Together, one molecule at at time, we are making a difference in the fight against this terrible disease. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I could not be more proud than to say I work with such a caring and compassionate group of cancer fighters. Have a great Friday my friends.

77. Kieran

Many years later Kyra claims to have no memory of the dash from her quarters to Trev’s lab. Everything Papa had ever taught her about here and now abandoned her in that short sprint. She remembers Goldie waking her and she remembers the look on Trev’s face before those first fateful words reluctantly flowed forth. The short period in-between is forever blank.


The Interview (from earth):

T: Kyra, what went through your mind when Goldie woke you?

K: Fear. Disorientation. Need for action, need for information, but mostly a sense that the worst had happened, that Kieran had passed away and I had been helpless to do anything about it.

T: What was the last thing you remember?

K: I remember seeing the monitors’ flat-lining, calling for help, realizing that the door was locked and only Trev had the ability to open it, throwing myself, repeatedly against it, blood everywhere. My last memory before Goldie woke me was that damn door that wouldn’t budge.

T: Any memory of seeing Trev?

K: None.

T: Let’s get back to the window. More emotion than we’ve seen from you before. Can you tell us what was going through your mind?

K: You have to remember, our homeworld was no more. What was left of our people were scattered to the winds of the universe and we, the eight of us on Bravo-Four-Zero, were heading into the uncharted territories. We had no contact with any other Hynerians and no expectation we would ever see any of our kind again. Now think about that for a minute.

T: Sobering. Please continue.

K: Well, I was a young female Hynerian. Had no desire to live my life alone and of the four males onboard Kieran was the only one I had feelings for. Rog was a great guy but not my type. Trev, heart of gold and sweet as could be, but again, not quite what I needed. But Kieran was different. Kieran was . . .

Editor: Kyra’s eyes started to water and she asked for a short break.

T: Kyra, are you ready to continue?

K: I’m sorry, even after all these years the emotions of that time still have the ability to overwhelm me.

T: I understand.

K: Kieran was special. Unlike any other Hynerian, well, except one [ed: we see the first smile from Kyra], that I had ever known. He could be so many things. Within his hands he could hold good and evil, strength and weakness, power and humility, all in equal measure and be neither deceived nor seduced by those concepts—almost as if he could stand outside the reality all the rest of lived in.

T: When did you learn he was a child of the shells?

K: I never knew till . . .

T: Do you need another break?

K: No, no, it’s ok. Just been awhile since I’ve recreated these memories. I had no idea until I walked, or was that stormed into Trev’s lab. Kieran had never spoken to anyone about it. Then again, that’s the way he was.

T: Let’s get back to the window. Tell us how you cut your hands. Trev said they were in pretty bad shape when he got to you.

K: Well, I was standing outside the iso room. There is a window to observe the patient. Kieran appeared to be resting peacefully, the incongruity of which only further fueled my emotional state. We had lost contact with Rog and Emy, the Tear had closed and there was every possibility they would not arrive back with the medicine in time. Remember, Kieran had reached stage two, which meant he had an estimated forty-eight hours and I have to emphasize estimated because no one really knew. I think the uncertainty combined with the sense of helplessness created a unique emotional situation.

Kieran was such a handsome young Hynerian. And he looked so peaceful standing bravely on the edge of death, and there was not a damn thing we could do but wait. Then it hit me. This could really be it. He might never come out of the peaceful drug-induced slumber. He might never see the sun again. Actually, I thought he might not ever see me again and, as a result, would have never heard the words I had so longed to whisper quietly in his ear. I felt a surge of regret I’d never felt before.

Then, almost as if my body acted on its own, I remember seeing my hands ball into fists and hurl themselves in frustration against the glass. The rings I wore just sliced through my flesh and blood went everywhere. Really was quite a mess I made.

T: Did Kieran have any idea how you felt about him?

K: None.

T: None?

K: Never said a word, never showed my hand in any way. I may have even subconsciously acted a little cold toward him to cover the approaches of my heart. Who knows in matters such as these? I may have been Zeke's granddaughter, but I was no Papa at this stage of my life. You know, Goldie was so right. I did miss Papa.

T: What do you think Papa would have said to you if he had been there at the window?

K: Papa would have hugged me, told me not the resist the flow of energy but to embrace it. Then he would have told me how proud he was that there was so much love in my heart. Then he would have found a way to bust down that damn door. [much laughter]

T: So you “storm into” Trev’s lab. What’s the first thing he says to you?

K: Sit down.

T: Okay [interviewer smiles], so you are sitting down . . .

K: Oh no. I didn’t sit.

T: Oh.

K: I stood in front of his desk, put my bandaged hands down like a cat ready to pounce and said . . .

T: Yes?

K: I said Trev, no pampus-shiott. What happened.

T: And.

K: He said in a voice I had never heard before—SIT DOWN.

T: Sounds uncharacteristic of Trev.

K: It was.

T: So did you sit down?

K: Yep, although my eyes never left his. And then he started from the moment he got my distress message.

T: What did he say about his delay?

K: He said he never got my first messages.

T: Did you believe him?

K: Didn’t matter. Water under the bridge at that point.

T: But you don’t remember him arriving?

K: Nope, he says I was unconscious when he arrived. Apparently, on my last attempt to bust the door down I knocked myself out. He did say he was initially terrified when he saw me lying in a bloody mess unconscious.

T: And then?

K: And then as soon as he realized I was going to be okay he called Mel to come look after me.

T: So now he’s in the room with Kieran.

K: Yes.

T: You saw Kieran’s life support monitor’s flat-lining. Did Trev verify that fact?

K: Yes.

T: From the time you first saw them to the time he walked in the room—how much time had passed?

K: Trev estimated five to six minutes.

T: Could a Hynerian live that long? Do you know what I’m asking?

K: You’re asking if Kieran could live or survive for more than five minutes without blood flow.

T: Yes.

K: No.

T: Did you blame yourself for his death?

K: I think I would have had a great deal of guilt, if he had died at that point.

T: So he was still alive?

K: [smiling] Yes. I told you he was one of a kind.

T: Was he just that extraordinary, just that much stronger than the average Hynerian?

K: Stronger, no. Extraordinary, yes.

T: Please explain.

K: I didn’t know until Trev told me. Kieran was a child of the shells. Remember my shell story?

T: Yes, every school child had to build a shell collection of both regular and irregular shells. Hynerian culture valued those that were different.

K: True. Remember, Hyneria was on an elliptical orbit. Twice a year the planet approached the sun and the extreme radiation caused birth defects in all life forms. Most were rather cosmetic, not too severe. Just as shellfish were deformed so too Hynerian babies. One of every seven Hynerians were affected. Hence, we developed a deep sense of compassion for those that were different.

T: So the babies that were born with a defect . . .

K: Yes, they were called children of the shells.

T: What was Kieran’s birth defect?

K: He was born with two hearts.

T: No shiott?

K: [more laughter] No shiott, as you say.

T: Was this common?

K: Extremely rare. Kieran was the first double heart shell child I ever met.

T: So the life support monitors . . .

K: They were wrong. The equipment we had was not calibrated for a dual-heart Hynerian. When one of his hearts shut down the monitors malfunctioned, but the beauty of two hearts is the other can keep you alive. And so it did.

T: You must have been relieved.

K: Yes and no. Relieved he was alive, yes. But the basic situation had not changed. Kieran was down to one functioning heart, the virus was having an impact. The clock was ticking. We were down to perhaps hours and still we could not establish communication with Rog nor did we know if when we did whether it would be too late.

Lesson of the Shells

76. Fossil Valley

“Kyra, if you are real quiet, we might see a family of pufferbills come down the valley,” said Papa. “Have you ever seen a pufferbill before?”

“No Papa,” said Kyra, her deep blue eyes wide with anticipation and wonder.

Papa smiled. Was he teaching her, he wondered, or was she mentoring him in the ways of joy. With each advancing year he valued more the raw curiosity and innocence of youth.

“Kyra, look to your right. Here comes a family now. Mom is out front, dad is watching the rear and baby is tucked safely in between. Pufferbills live for more than a hundred years and are considered some of the most intelligent life forms on Hyneria.”

“What makes them so special Papa?”

“Well, Fossil Valley can be a very dangerous place and on more than one occasion a wayward Hynerian has gotten lost in the valley without food or water. Pufferbills have always come to their rescue. The mother stays with the stranded traveler, bringing food and water while the father floats back to base camp at the entrance to the valley. The only time the males come to base camp is to lead a search party back to the stranded traveler.”

“And Kyra.”

“Yes Papa?”

“There is one other thing that makes them very special creatures.”

Kyra’s coal black eyebrows rose ever so slightly.

“If the search party is delayed . . .”

“Yes Papa.”

“If the search party is delayed, pufferbills will sacrifice their own wellbeing, even their life, to protect the stranded party. There is not another creature as selfless as pufferbills.”

“Can you hear me Kyra? Kyra?

“What loving creatures Papa.”

“Kyra, wakeup sweetie. Kyra, I have an important message for you. Come drink your snizzle before it gets cold.”

“Goldie, what are you doing here?”

“Waking you up sweetie,” said Goldie. “Sounds like you had a wonderful dream. We do miss Papa don’t we?”

“Yes Goldie, I do miss Papa. I miss him very much,” said Kyra, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “How did I end up in my quarters?”

“I’ll let Trev fill you in. I’m afraid he needs to talk to you about Kieran.”

“Oh My Janus, Goldie.” What has happened?”

“I’d better let Trev tell you sweetie. He said to send you down to his lab as soon as you were awake. Should I . . .”

Before Goldie could finish, Kyra was out the door.