Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Day: 41
am: morning perfectly normal, which only serves to highlight the last couple days--to know what is a disease of the brain and what of the mind becomes difficult and, to some extent, there seems to be some connection between the two as if one feeds the other--on good days, like today, I must remind myself that the real work is on the bad days and to remind myself that despair will work against any and all effort--that in these moments of darkness I must create that separation that allows me to stand outside of disease, to know there is a part of me the disease cannot touch--or so this is what I tell myself--on good days--to remember on bad days--because, on bad days, I won't believe it
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leave yourself notes
everywhere
believe yourself
only when you are telling the truth
(i laugh)
be more well then not
and know even in between
you are loved
do you celebrate Christmas?
enjoy the holiday, Tree
xo
erin
My dear friend, enjoy the good days and be prepared for the bad! I'm glad to hear you feel normal. From someone that EVERYONE considers crazy, well, that would worry me. lol But seriously, the fact that you are aware of and realize that there is still work to do, and the work will have to be done on bad days shows that you are well on your way to be completely "normal". You haven't mentioned the pressure on the cap of you skull, has that disappeared, or are you still being "guided"? You mentioned that your reading seems to have returned to premed status, what about poetry? So many questions...sorry!!! If there is anything any of us can do, please let us know. The calvalry will come running to your aid with swords held high and shields.
As always my thoughts and prayers are wilth you always.
TIGHT HUGS!!!
H
thinking of you today, with joy and trust...
love,
R.
Tree,
I hope you continue to stay strong and believe in yourself on the good days and the bad.
I wish you a very Happy Holiday.
Bless your heart.
Your words here are so sound, deep and simple, written with directness and eloquence and intimacy, words that will toucn all who read on a personal level whatever the nuance of their day today between red and yellow, by the same token, in as far as you are you and another is another, your expressiveness allows as clear an understanding as is possible. For all those who come here to visit with you, for so many reasons and for these past 41 journal posts, hearts hug, hearts hold, hearts hope there will be many more days good than bad, knowing meanwhile with thanks from your words, your perserverance, your analysis, your strength of heart will be able to do for you, what we as those who care long to do.
Written very quickly, will be back to say it better. Our Christmas is today, house full of family, cooking, noise, :-), miss you. x
Merry Christmas, Tree... I feel disconnected from your words as I didn't have the time to keep up with your posts. I failed to come often and at least sit with you and give you a hug. However, I did find myself thinking of you outside of this virtual world. Strange, I know, but nevertheless, you were in my thoughts. I shall do better in the near future and show my silly face over here more often... I shall sit with you on your bad days and laugh with you on your good days. May today, be one of the good days and may you make a pleasant memory that will comfort you when the next bad day comes around. Big HUGS, my dear Tree.. Merry Christmas
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