(ed note: this chapter takes place on Hyneria, in "story time" almost two years earlier, shortly after Bravo departed)
Zeke's leathery hands, hands of love, of care, of concern, tossed more feed into the basin like rain to soil, life supported from hand to mouth, of one above to those below, not unlike Janus to Hynerian, or so it was believed. His golden wabi's, koi mouthed, fed in the clear and quiet waters of their enclosed universe, peacefully unaware of the troubles without. What was the difference, if he left. They would die as would those left on Hyneria, regardless. Looking above, his mouth as agap as the feeding fish, he had not the energy to question Janus.
Blu hovered to his side, his perse hue blending into the prevailing mood. The skies of Valla had long since given up bright for dark and brother sun, once omnipresent, seemed permanently censored by a dense gray ceiling of roiling clouds. The palette of yellows and oranges and azures gave way to an endless monotony of dull gray and slate blue, as if the planet itself was winter depressed. The cheerful beaches of the compound, a canvas for so many joyful memories, seemed faded and abused and hardly recognizable as spumy waves slammed ashore with roar and slap as if the bewildered hoary sea wanted to strike out at the only object in reach, a cornered, cowering coast.
Above the gentle bubbling of the basin, Zeke spoke. "Blu, what do you think of Ji's proposal?"
Blu glided closer and his eyes begin to glow and blink as if he were carefully considering his response, as if fearful of emoting. "I don't want you to leave me."
"I won't leave you."
"You have no choice. I am a mechanical. If I go, then I deny a sentient a place."
"I didn't say I was going."
"You must."
"Why?"
"Hope."
"Then I will find a way to bring you. There is always a way."
"And if you bring me, who will care the wabi's?"
14 comments:
:)
Happy Post Stuffing Day!!!
I love the painting that makes up your header! Papa lookes like a Pleiadian (or what I picture a Pleiadain to look lik).
The eyes are FANTASTIC!
Thank you Grace. Now I'm going to have to google Pleiadian. :-D
The combination of Papa's portrait and the editor's note letting us know we were headed back in time and place to Hyneria meant I had to pause before I even got started, prepare myself based on the heretofore for something wonderful, but as always there is no preparing for the great whoosh that chapters such as this one cause. Beautifully written, you tend to start as you mean to go on, and more often than not the first sentence is among the most memorable in a chapter. Poetry to your prose. :-) How masterfully the contrast is shown in a series of descriptions of what was and what is and all the while there is the declaration of what will be. Blu's answer of hope provides hope too that there is a chance something Von caution offered to Kyra just might prove to be true, perhaps Zeke did not perish on Hyneria. Whatever his decision was, suspense is now rife with the suggestion that at this point in time, and thus as far as we know, nothing is yet final and there may well be a future to the past.
I skipped too fast past the scene description, which are in a word marvellous. Sentences such as The skies of Valla had long since given up bright for dark and brother sun, once omnipresent, seemed permanently censored by a dense gray ceiling of roiling clouds. to quote just one such a wonderful concoction of words, each giving the impression as it precedes the one before of being chosen with love and care and concern, the language is delightful, the scene described somber, not least when shown what the changes have wrought in Papa. he had not the energy to question Janus.
So many details that make this story magical, amongst the greatest of those the mechanical beings of Blu, Goldie and Pinky and the traits that you have given them. They too have touched through their words, through their love, the hearts of your readers. Goldie especially, but Blu too, at the dock and again here.
I've said it before, you are up there with the best of them. You have a thoroughly impressive ability to paint a picture with words, so that not only is it seen, but it is heard, it is felt, like Von's hologram, there is a sense that one could reach out and touch.
Wonderful chapter in every way, within itself, within the story. And I haven't even mentioned the fish, of what it would mean to Papa to be suddenly given a choice.
Reverence for Life, the philosophy of my hero, Albert Schweitzer. Last night we trapped a possum and this morning I relocated the little guy to a more sylvan setting, free of charge of course. As ugly as these little creatures are, I could only wonder what he was thinking while in the cage, watching me come out, not knowing my intention. Did he feel fear? Did he think I might kill him, eat him, torture him? And through it all I thought of Schweitzer. I thought of life. I thought of what the powerful do to and with the helpless, to those different. And, with loving care, I covered his cage last night with a blanket, gave him some carrots and lettuce, fed him again in the morning, and then gently moved him into his new abode.
And so, in a sense, Papa has to make some hard choices, ugly choices, the kind of choices that will chose one over the other.
I believe everything feels... the possum would have felt fear, hope and the joy gifted by the mercy shown to him/her.
"Blu glided closer and his eyes begin to glow and blink as if he were carefully considering his response, as if fearful of emoting. "I don't want you to leave me."
Blu feels...
Miladysa, I wouldn't disagree with you. As for Blu, I have no doubt that he does as does his mechanical twin, Goldie. Papa (Zeke) wouldn't have built them any other way. :-)
Your story is coming along wonderfully. You are growing in your writing and it shows in many ways.
I will keep reading.
T
T, nice to see you again. Thanks for the very kind words. Monday marks the two year anniversary. Who would have ever thought. :-)
Congrats on that. I would have thought it. You are dedicated to your writing. I am around. Just quietly reading. You look good.
Thank you T. The story has been a blessing to me in more ways than I know to count. On Monday we will toast two years and toast again to the next two years. Visitors are always nice. Thanks for stopping by. :-)
First, let me say that I like this installment of the story very much. As always, you tell it with the perfect flourish. But what I really want to talk about is the portrait of Papa. Did you paint it? Whoever created it, it's beautiful!
SJ, I did the painting using Corel's Painter 9.5 and the artist oils brushes. If you like to paint and don't mind a digital canvas, Painter is hard to beat.
As for the story, your kind words are always very much appreciated. Thank you Sherry. :-)
Papa is a juxtaposition of so many things. The warmth of the face against the icy slate blue eyes and snow Grey hair...Of day against night ,of sun against moon...Of clouds against sun...
The image of Zeke feeding the fish is beautiful, the golden fish feeding in the clear water, unaware of the troubles without.
"The cheerful beaches of the compound, a canvas for so many joyful memories, seemed faded and abused and hardly recognizable as spumy waves slammed ashore with roar and slap as if the bewildered hoary sea wanted to strike out at the only object in reach, a cornered, cowering coast."
Such a wonderful imagery, you personify so well!
Blu's statement is significant. While he wants Zeke to escape and find hope, he wants to remain back & be with the wabi's. That is more hope, as surely he sees his role as significant in preserving Life.
We all are here for some purpose & that purpose is Life itself!
Mona, I wish dialogue came a little easier for me. I try and put myself in the shoes of the party speaking and instead of writing with intent, with knowing what is to be said, I simply let the conversation flow as it occurs to me it might--in that moment, which is to say, if I wrote the dialogue again, even an hour later, it would look somewhat different.
What I like about the seemingly contradictory statements that Blu makes (as a robot or mechanical), knowing of course that he was built by Papa and Papa had the ability to put a bit of himself into the programing (just as he put a bit of Grandma Kyra into Goldie), is we see a very non-Spock exchange--neither logical nor consistent. Papa asks Blu a simple question--what do you think of the proposal and Blu responds with a very humanesque answer--"Don't leave me" which also shows an intelligence since to make that statement means he has been thinking ahead and making assumptions and reaching conclusions. Then, when he gets what he needs most of all, which is not to be taken if Zeke leaves, but to be told he would not be left behind (these two things are not the same), then he is free to give what Papa gave--Love. So he passes Papa's Love from himself to the other living entities in this chapter--the wabi's. One thing Blu does not do is differentiate between living "things" and in his mind, the wabi's have as much right to life and comfort and care and Love as any other living thing. In short, I like Blu even more than I did before. :-D
Mona, as always, thank you for your so very wonderfully engage comments. I do love them so.
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