Ariel stood in the doorframe, still as a photograph, watching. John secured his kit. Items laid in order, neat as plan before contact, clear as a high mountain pool. One by one, routine memorized in the name of freedom, the remoras of necessity attached themselves to his frame and he looked cold as business on a Monday morning. In the turn, brown eyes met blue, father to daughter, the rope of connection swaying in the mind as the uncertain winds of mission stirred fear in a young simple heart. And for a wordless moment, a pause, as one looked down and the other looked up.John knelt. Ariel stayed, holding the frame with tiny knuckles white in the whipping swirl of currents melanic.
"Ariel." He called.
With eyes full and cheeks quivering, her little hands began to shake.
"I love you," said John, his words a lasso.
Not moving, Ariel said. "You're leaving."
"I'll be back--"
"I don't want you to go."
"There is a man that is going to help us. I need to go see him. He has a ship for us. A bigger ship."
"I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. You always leave. Always."
She turned and ran, his words echoing in the empty frame, "Ariel. Ariel."
"John," commed Kyra.
"What?"
"It's time."
25 comments:
What a nice surprise to come home to, :-), a new chapter.
The image looks wonderful beneath the title. Sometimes at Trebuchet, when the next follows the one before, and one is left in a permanent state of whiplash, they blend together like the colours of a rainbow, each lovely and part of a whole. Here it comes into full force, alone, with the words as a frame. Truly beautiful image.
So clearly this scene appears, of Ariel framed in the door, John gathering what he needs on auto-pilot and the moment when he realizes that she is there and what she must be thinking. In that moment, there is little choice, and one sympathizes with John knowing that he not only has to leave her at a time such as this, and that regardless of how he were to explain it to her, even if he had the time, she will not be able to understand. Her mother leaving her was not a choice made by Cait, just as simply John leaving her now is a choice made. All he can do is trust that when he returns, he will be able to give her what she needs from him. One comes out the end of this wanting desperately to embrace the both of them, or at least see them embrace each other. Beautifully written, delightful as always with the gleam of phrases such as cold as business on a Monday morning.
Quick version, may be back with more after a re-read after dinner. :-)
This chapter hits very close to home for me. Maybe too close.
One of your most poignant and memorable commentaries ties back to this chapter. Not easy for either of them.
True. Had forgot about that. Recording in a hotel room, alone, on the road.
I wish I could put my finger on it, Trée...what it is that's changed the flavor of your writing in the last..month? I'm sort of spaced on the time thing these days..BUT it seems in the recent past :)
(Pause: LOVE the art for this piece AND the new header art. Your creativity has taken on brand new dimensions and it's really wonderful to experience!)
There's something very mindful about your writing...the words are crocheted together in such an artistic way - like creating a storyfractal :) THe words play off of each other so beautifully.
And I was also captured by the sentence: "as cold as business on a Monday morning."
WOW Amazing!
Grace, I'm not sure I can define it either, but you have noticed a change. Not so much conscious as much as some internal need to express an image with words, to weave them such that someone might want to come back and read again. I used to have a lot of readers. Over time, almost all of them have drifted away. Somedays, I reflect and think of fading away also. But most days, I feel motivated to write something so good that people would want to come back, would want to visit for the writing, not so much for plot (I think any idiot can write plot and that plot is highly overrated) but to create a turn of phrase that sticks in ones mind, not just today, but tomorrow and the morrow after and ten years hence. I want to write such to make time stop, to suspend the worries of a reader, if just for the moment of reading. So, I write to be read aloud, where rhythm and diction and pace weave a mood in harmony with the words. I have a long way to go to be as good as I would like, to be as good as I think I can with more experience, more time, more love and more passion.
Thanks for noticing and thanks for reading. Means more than I know to say. Peace to you my dear friend. :-)
:( I'm sorry that your readership has dwindled....what you write is GREAT. Can you think of anything in particular that might have cause it? Or is that just part of blogging...you've been around for awhile!
As long as you are staying true to your own special Voice, then the change is a positive one. Hopefully you're not changing it for those 'out there', whoever they may be. You have a unique style and voice all your own.
Not drinking much these days, but *Cheers* :) Here's to renewed readership and pass me the gummies...
Damn glad you choose the bears. I'll take the rum. :-D
As for readership, a few factors: (1) some former readers no longer blog; (2) some found the story too much to follow over a long period of time and drifted away; (3) some found the story too much work, which is to say, too much to read and too much to think about--didn't suit their blogging desires--not many people write a story post by post on their blog; (4) and this goes for non-bloggers like friends and family, as they have told me quite bluntly, the story is just not their cup of tea.
No worries, I've been writing to the tune of the story in my own mind and heart. I do have one reader that has been with me since the beginning, commented on every single post (some more than once) and has provided me with more encouragement than I can repay. If she were ever to abandon the story, I think I would still continue since the characters have really taken over my heart, but without her, it wouldn't be the same; (5) the story is just a couple weeks from being two years old, and many new bloggers simply can't or won't take the time or make the effort to follow a story so far in progress; (6) and my greatest fear, the quality of the writing has run some off; (7) I lost at least one reader when my story took an explicit sexual turn; (8) who the frail knows :-D; oh, and (9) I had one faithful reader that imploded with a hateful tirade attacking me, my wife and my readers. :-D
I think that about sums it up. ;-)
I'll take that glass of amber now if you please. :-)
"I love you," said John, his words a lasso.
that is beautifully depicted. No other words could have captured that better...
I love the way your imagery is developing these days :)
Also the home of Kyra & co is hypnotizing and beautiful in the movements it depict in the visual!
Thank you Mona. The relationship between John and Ariel is very close to the relationship I have with my son. When I write and comment on the two, I am opening my own life and my own heart in a most raw way, and not all of it is pleasant, but I promise you this, it is all real. I feel for John and I try to understand Ariel. I try hard. And no matter how many time I fall, I will get up again. As the proverb says, "Fall seven times. Get up eight."
The ocean is no match for the tears of my heart.
Mona, in case I wasn't clear, bless your soul for the wonderfully engaged and insightful and brilliant and loving comments. Pick your god(s) and I will partition blessings on your behalf. Janus, by the way, is on board. He owes me. ;-)
What John has to do is plot. "Not leaving" is not. Ariel knows. So does John.
Tree, I know only one God...I do not believe in slaying God into pieces as humanity has done...
Good Saturday morning Tree !
Beautiful fractal !
And you painted the distress of John's leaving, beautifully...
Saying 'I love you' is a lasso... So sweetly said...
Mona, that makes my job a lot easier. :-)
Thank you Annie. Of everything I wrote in this chapter, I'm surprised people liked the lasso metaphor most of all. Goes to show what I know. :-D
If anything, the image in this post is even better than your previous "orange" clock! I love how the fractal nature of the image is clear, and how one can see smaller clocks alongside the larger one. Nice perspective too. Of course this chapter is beautifully written. As for losing readers, I don't stop by as often as I should, simply because, for some weird reason, your blog does not come up in "bloglines" which is how I keep track of the other blogs that I follow. Its not a big deal for me, but it does mean that I sometimes won't drop by for a while - especially when life gets busy and I forget to check your over here and see if there are any more installments :)
Jenni, thanks for the kind words. I'm currently using a horizontal version of this image as my desktop wallpaper. It really is spectacular in the large version.
Love the song, love the fractal, love the chapter. It's altogether truly beautiful.
Thanks SJ. :-)
OK..how did I miss the memo that you are married!? lol
Imploding Ex-Followers be damned... It's what's in your heart that counts. And your reasons make sense.
I find I'm really struggling these days with Blogger Identity,,,does that make sense? Knowing who I am in 'real' life, and expressing that...is so much easier than expressing ALL of who I am once I start blogging. I want to compartmentalize myself a little bit...or now, maybe, I'm a little gun shy of showing too much.
To have someone tell me that she saw (in a psychic way) a bloody future for me because of my political rants was just..well..odd, frankly.
I find myself in a place again where I need to work out some things, and the blog might not be the best place to do it. I have, in the past, just thrown it all out there and damn the consequences.
Can't seem to do that now. :) No wonder why some people have 2, 3, 4 blogs at once! lol
Grace, I don't usually share personal information on my blog but I am married, thirteen years. It is my second marriage. I have one son from my first marriage and two step-daughters from my current one. My wife reads my blog and on occasion will comment on a post.
As for imploding bloggers, well, I think some of them take the whole blogging thing a little too serious and read into comments stuff that simply isn't there. And then, for reasons unknown, they say things that cause great pain and suffering. If you're not careful, they can suck the life right out of blogging. At the end of the day, and I think you hit the nail on the head, you just have to be yourself and if people can't accepted you for who you are, then, well, they were never going to accept you anyway. Peace my friend. Been traveling all day on the first day of a six day road trip. Best get some sleep since I've lost time moving east. :-)
Hey, I only have three blogs. :-D
This image is just lovely! I like the detail and the dark tones. I'm a fan of purples.
Thank you Chicky. The horizontal version is my current wallpaper. :-)
Post a Comment