Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Intermission

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

Desperate

Dear Desperate:

Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2.

Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program.

DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3.

Also, running Nagging 5.3 too often can sometimes cause Husband 1.0 to secretly install Mistress 1.0, which would then require you to run Private Investigator 7.5 utility and possibly even Attorney 9.0, which could lead to a system wide failure and the need to reboot Husband 1.0!

Everybody clear on this now?

Tech Support

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

*snort*

See whst happens when you use window applications too frequently? Everything gets so monumentally Scre**d hehehe.

You can always turn to Mac - believe me, he rawks!

(I just hope boyfriend 5:0 isn't reading this!)

Trée said...

Leigh, I've always had a soft spot in my heart for women of Mac persuasion. They just have that little bit of mystery and panaché about them that drives me wild. :-)

Trée said...

Oh, and if they know a good mount when they ride one, that's a plus too. :-D

Anonymous said...

ROFL, that is too funny :0D

hope you are having a great day!

Anonymous said...

mmmm, a bit of sassiness is coming out. I like it! So, ummm I wonder what type of software would be compatible with your hardware???

Thanks for the lighthearted intermission.....it beats the hell out of bag of popcorn and a bathroom break.

t/c

Anonymous said...

So I take it Husband.1 was invented by Bill Gates. I'd really like to have sympathy for the poor lady but come on now, EVERYBODY, knows this particular product comes with bugs galore. She should have checked her warranty more closely.

Trée said...

Jack, I'm with you on that one. Always check the warranty. Caveat emptor! :-D

Trée said...

Meg, there is a whole other side to me you haven't met yet. :-D

As for the software question, I've found my hardware seems to be highly compatible with most of the packages currently on the market. A little sassiness is a plus. :-)

Trée said...

Doing well Tube. Hope and trust you are too. :-)

Anonymous said...

That was so much fun. You're a clever fellow aren't you? Had me laughing all of the way.

Anonymous said...

What A Great Analogy!!!
I so have the same system failure...

Trée said...

Liz, so good to see you stopping by. You know you are always welcome here and I always have plenty of tea and cookies just for you. :-)

On the piece today, I would like to say I wrote it but this was one of those internet email things that get sent around like a bad fruitcake. Thought it might make a good break from the story. Glad it made you smile. :-)

Trée said...

Gradually, thanks for stopping by. Hardware and software, getting them to work in harmony can sometimes be a challenge. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh. I thought I had seen it before but its great to see it again. Just one question, where can I get a hold of boyfriend 9.0 (the kosher version)???

Anonymous said...

Absolute fits of giggles, thank you so much!!! Funniest thing I've read/heard all week :-D Lol, going back for another read.

Anonymous said...

rofl, help, have tears streaming - know what i'm like, will be difficult to stop again :-D!

Trée said...

Jenni, I'll see what I can do. Are you open to relocation? :-D

Trée said...

Glad to bring your day to a close with a laugh and a smile Sunshine. Sweet dreams when you get that far. :-)

Anonymous said...

ROFL! I have seen this one b4 Tre!

Keshi.

Trée said...

My dear angel, I've started a new business called Smile Makers Inc. You're one of my first customers. :-)

Anonymous said...

Install Boyfriend 6.0. With virus protection.

Trée said...

Good advice Chicky. I don't trust a woman who complains like desperate. :-D

Anonymous said...

Speaking of mounts? Hows your GPS?

*snort*

(I really need to tell that devil on my shoulder to behave himself!)

Good afternoon to you :-)

Trée said...

Leigh, I think it's in need of a little hands on maintainance. Otherwise, I have every indication it's in perfect working condition. :-D

Anonymous said...

**Smile Makers Inc.

me? me? ur sure? :) And am I a customer or a sales person in ur business? lol!

Keshi.

Trée said...

Smiles are contagious my dear angel so I would say you are both customer and sales person. :-)

Anonymous said...

LOL Intermission. You're so cute.
I saw you sneaking around my fridge. Whatcha looking for? Cold beer? Icy mug? Nooo...whipped cream, huh? Uh-huh. :P

Trée said...

I was hoping you had some cherries, and the whip cream of course. :-)

Trée said...

Whipped cream too if you got it. LMAO

We can deal with the whips later. :-D

Anonymous said...

I'm quite fond of whipped things. ;)

Anonymous said...

LOL...I LOVE THIS!!! Great post! :-)

How are you T ?!

Trée said...

I take it you have some experience in these matters? :-D

Trée said...

Y, I'm doing great, but it seems I'm about to get a whipping and I think I'm going to like it. Bring those boots Aggie. :-D

Good to see you again Y. :-)

Anonymous said...

My standard response: "As far as you know." LOL
Are you messin with the fridge because every time I refresh I get a whole new jumble.

Anonymous said...

Ah - I got fridge control and left you a message. I'll leave you with that. LOL
Great big, snuggly hugs.
Nite nite sweet man.

Trée said...

So good to have you stop by and play for a bit Aggie. Warms my heart like you don't know. I'm feeling like a midnight snack so I'm on my way to "the" fridge. :-D

Anonymous said...

This is so hilarious it hurts. I hope you don't mind if I link back here and post it on my blog. This is a MUST SHARE!

Trée said...

Jason, no worries, post away. :-)