Credit to
Girl Punch for this find. Enjoy.
Remember the book - "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well,
here is a true life example from the University of Phoenix. An English
Professor assigned his students to a joint writing exercise that quickly
degraded - check it out...
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The
process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to
his or her immediate right.
As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a
short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send
another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then
add another paragraph to the story and send it back also sending another
copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on,
back and forth.
Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the
story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the
e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The
story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).
THE STORY:
(First paragraph by Rebecca)
-----------------------------------------------
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now
reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind
off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about
him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
(Second paragraph by Gary)
--------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about
than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with
whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to
Geostation 17", he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar
orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could
sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a
hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him
flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca)
---------------------------------------------------------
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her
youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no
newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of
innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one
lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
(Gary)
---------------------------------------------------------
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands
of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mother ship launched the first
of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks that
pushed the unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress
had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who
were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the
passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth,
carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to
stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium
fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President
slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm
going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
(Rebecca)
---------------------------------------------------------
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semiliterate adolescent.
(Gary)
---------------------------------------------------------
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at
writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have
chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F***ING TEA??? Oh no,
I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
Rebecca)
---------------------------------------------------------
A**hole.
(Gary)
---------------------------------------------------------
B****.
(Rebecca)
---------------------------------------------------------
Get screwed.
(Gary)
---------------------------------------------------------
Eat sh**.
(Rebecca)
---------------------------------------------------------
SCREW YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
(Gary) ----------------------------------------------------------
GO DRINK SOME TEA - *****.
***********************************************
(TEACHER) A+ - I really liked this one. Only group to get an A.
Bet you haven't seen this pic in a long time. A body genetically built to cycle, from a larger heart and lungs to a longer femur. A body that produces less lactic acid and has a main artery from the torso to the lower body that doctors just can't believe it is that big. If God ever created someone to excel at Grand Tours, then he created Lance.
