I will always believe that people can change, not because they do, but because I have to believe that I can.
There are only a few stories in the world and none of them are important.
What, How, Why: Of the three you can have the first two, I’ll take the third.*
Plot hides and deceives. A red flag in the face of our bullheadedness.
You have to believe to see. The heart has its own eyes.
Burden is not of pack but of thought (burden of pack ache shoulders nein as thoughts heavy smart the mind).
I was not cold until someone said it was cold.
I miss my son.
* Here Von is rationalizing two questions that haunt him: (1) The last day: when, where, what, how?; (2) Did Ceru die alone, did he suffer?
11 comments:
Hey you, so very, very nice to see a new post. :-)
Going to mull for a while and I'll be back in a little bit. I can say already though that Von's Journal chapters are always thoughtprovoking and just plain wonderful, this one was no different.
Still love the fractal. :-)
Take your time. ;-)
All this while, Von has as far as we know kept his son to himself, not speaking of him or sharing any details with the other crew members, at least to our knowledge. It was, as we know, only after listening to John and Rog that he showed a loss of control for the first time. Now when I think of Von, I think of those evenings spent with Rog, I think of him with Kyra, with John, of all the times he has been a steady comforting and supportive presence to so many and though we were not unaware of a past that was painful, we also knew that he had not only come to terms with what had happened to him but that he had gained from it. Given Emy at one point alludes to Von not having anyone to say goodbye to and what recent chapters have shown us of his dock story, it confirms that Von has even away from our eyes kept Ceru very much to himself. We know from seeing him with the book of letters, from seeing him on the dock just how much he must miss his son, and though there is not much in the way of direct description we can at least begin to imagine what thoughts must have gone through his head and still do, when he learned of the book, when he learned of what his son had done for him, that until that very last moment Ceru had not intended for his father to see the letters and that Von now knows that Zeke was aware of them. Von is philosophical anyway, these particulars could only make him more so.
A little hesitant to comment upon his words here, other than to say they are evocative. The first gives a distinct impression of wishing that he might change, of regrets while wise to the impossibility of changing what has been and thus there is only the option of changing what is ahead, changing what is inside. The first and the last feel very much like bookends suggesting that everything in between was borne from thoughts about his son.
It's very much a journal post. :-)
Keep in mind, Von is the only one on board that had a child (to the best of our knowledge). Like a soldier who cares not to discuss war with anyone but another soldier, Von had no one on board he felt could comprehend. The second factor to consider is if Von had mentioned Ceru earlier, he would have opened himself to a fair number of questions as to why he was on board and how he could leave a child behind, even an adult child. So, in essence, Von had no place to go nor the motivation to share until such point that another father, in combination with Rog and John's failure to see the big picture with regard to the mission or the smaller picture with regard to a "child" Em that he finally let loose. Just my two cents. I could be wrong. :-D
:-) If I were a cartoon character, I would have a light bulb hovering over my head with a small metallic chord that you just pulled. In short, so clear to me now that you have voiced that difference, from what we have seen of him, this is how he would be most likely to feel.
Have I told you lately how much I love the story? :-) And moments such as these, when we gain some insight into one of the characters best of all.
Happy to be of assistance. Now, I'm wearing an old pair of jeans san boxers. Make Annie proud. :-D
:-D Sweetie, as in all things, I shall do my very best and have as much fun as possible during.
strange... I was using the same words almost, yesterday...
Don't know when, how & why it will strike/ Life scares me/ Death is okay/ It strikes only once...
The heart has its own eyes... classic!
The last two points are poignant...
Mona, nice to see you stopping by. I think about you often and hope that you are okay. Thank you for the kind words. :-)
Beautiful graphic! Its one of the nicest ones so far. Story is good too *grins*
Thanks Jenni. :-)
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