806. chatoyant eyes

T: When Yul stormed off did you have any idea what was going on?
K: I knew something wasn’t right, but my mind was preoccupied with Mairi and to a lesser extent John.
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Skeleton Chapter: This is where I simply tell you what happens as opposed to writing of it.
The relationship of Trev and Em, was to Yul, devastating. She saw that what they had, she did not. Unable to carry the weight of a moment that was of all moments, the sun to her long buried seed, she sought and found a supplier. Her vial, long empty, now full again. Only in this way could she cope, the pain released from her mind as the sweet serum entered her veins. On this night, she was a day out from resupply. To leave within the dusk was to leave her tether to life. To leave now, she thought, was death and pain. To stay she knew would be death too, but a sweet death, absent agony and anguish. What seemed a choice to everyone else was never volitional for her.
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Of what Rog saw:
She appeared as fire and hell, hypnotic chatoyant eyes singeing reason from my skull. Her breath, an updraft of wrath, contempt, of sun-licked anger, bellowed from parched lips. The wind of her tongue whipping my self-righteous indignation. My knees knew no brace. My arms hung impotent. Again her words came, jagged, raw, lacerating the flesh she had held so dear. I rose or so it felt for all seemed into, against, the air humid, heated, fierce as my very nostrils screamed and burned of her atmosphere. All was not as before. Facts came fast. She moved to a line once seen, now erased, snorted into the maelstrom. And I saw what I had never seen, the gutting, the spilling. She was of this, I was convinced, consumed. Just a wisp of what was.
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Yul, from her journal some weeks later:
It had been coming for some time. Or, perhaps it is more fair to say, what had been put in motion by birth, by fear and rejection, by a hatred I never understood, could never grasp or protect myself from, had been unleashed. Freed to wreck havoc. Fear reigning lawless. Memory violating me again and again; for who can protect you from what is inside? Who can hold what can’t be held, as invisible as the thought not thought, the word not spoken? So there is this falling, this pain so great, burning as only truth burns pure, that one seeks not salvation but surrender. I had found a supplier. Had told no one. In this way, I survived. The shipment coming tomorrow was my life, my protector, the love I knew I would never know. To leave without it was beyond my ability to imagine. It was as if asking Em to leave without Trev.
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T: So what did you do?
K: We left her.