196. And Found

“Von, you got a minute?” asked Rog.

“Sure, come on in.” Von was sitting at his desk looking better than he had a right to look considering what he had just experienced on world. His desk was immaculately clean and organized, which only made the crystal decanter of golden snoot look like it had Rog’s name on it. “Care to join me?” asked Von, knowing from the look in Rog’s eyes the question was rhetorical. He pulled out a second glass before Rog could answer.

Rog forced a smile, his eyes fixed on the glass. Von had the lights set on evening ambiance, which gave the snoot a sunset golden glow as he poured. Snoot was thicker than water and had the most unique and pleasing sound as it rolled from the decanter into crystal, the soothing sound opening to mind all things warm and wonderful as if the door to some fantastic place had just opened. “Thanks Von.” Lifting the glass to his lips, Rog let the warm smooth snoot linger on his tongue before lifting his chin, a gentle nudge to move the sweet nectar along.

“You know,” said Rog, “if we were back on Hyneria, we would be preparing for the big holiday. Family, food, friends,” lifting his glass, “snoot.”

Von smiled and took another sip without breaking eye contact with his guest.

“Do you ever miss it?” asked Rog.

“Miss what?”

“Home. Your family. Hyneria?”

“My home is here Rog and the members of this crew are my family, but that is not the answer you are looking for, not exactly what you want to hear is it?”

Rog pulled his cheeks up in smile without teeth. He knew Von was right on both accounts. “Damn you Von,” he laughed, “I wasn’t asking you for the truth.”

“I know. I can see the pain in your eyes and I think I know, well, let me rephrase that, I don’t know, but I’m open to listening. My words may have ringed true, but there are other bells in the tower and they have every right to sound their truth too. So pull that rope. Pull it hard, ring those bells. From the look of things, we’ve got time on our hands.”

“Maybe it’s the snoot, but I have no idea what you just said, although it sure sounds sophisticated, Taoesque even. Can you translate that into something this ol’ farm boy can understand?”

“Taoesque, now there is a word I don’t think I’ve ever heard.” Von laughed harder than he had laughed in some time. “Been spending some time with Kyra I see. Look, I’m aware of what happened with Yul. I understand there was a note too, which, before you ask, I haven’t seen. But you know what, I don’t need any of that to know something is weighing on your mind, or heart as the case may be. Body language doesn’t lie and yours is transmitting like a blinking neon sign.”

“Really? Uhm, that transparent?”

“Yep. Like a pane of brand new glass. Now I’ve got time on my hands and nowhere to go, so the floor is all yours.”

Rog placed the edge of the crystal glass against his lower lip, hesitated slightly, and took another long sip in the dim warm light. Von had an avuncular way about him, the room felt cozy and the snoot was starting to warm his belly and loosen this tongue. “I hardly know where to start,” sighed Rog.

“Start with Yul. Tell me what is going on there.” Von had been reading before Rog showed up and still had his reading glasses on. In a gesture to say you have my full attention, he reached up and took them off, letting the blue onyx frames rest on his chest, suspended from a cord around his neck.

“You know she tried to commit suicide. Why, is still not completely clear and she isn’t talking. So that part is still muddy and part of me understands her not wanting to talk and part of me is going crazy not knowing what is going on inside her head and part of me is pissed that she won’t open up to me, that she is holding back and part of me is trying to understand that maybe she just needs a little space. If that is all there was, no big deal. But she left a note. She hasn’t asked about it or alluded to it, so I’m not sure that she remembers writing it. I’ve read it and so has Kyra, which, remind me later, that’s a whole other subject. Anyway, the note was tear stained and certain passages are blurred and it is unclear exactly what she said or meant. She alluded to many issues, which, quite frankly, don’t completely add up to the suicide attempt. There is still something missing and like I said, she ain’t talking right now. But one thing in the note was very clear. She was not the one that was supposed to be on Bravo and it seems obvious that that was a factor of stress.”

“Does she explain the who and what behind that statement?”

Rog just shook his head. “No. In her note she talks in riddles. There is a strong sense of guilt, which is understandable in light of her mindset at the time, but she alludes to certain relationships in her life that caused her great pain, and apparently, still do. Why she had this breakdown now, I have no idea—just makes no sense to me. Still, that’s not what really bothers me. What really bothers me is she pretended to be someone that she wasn’t. I feel dirty, deceived, played for a fool and now she won’t talk, which, probably is a good thing since I’m sure I’d say some things I’d regret.” Rog paused as if to allow his thoughts to catch up with his tongue. “Feedback?”

Von thought for a second. “Keep going. I’m listening.”

“I don’t know what to say Von. I feel lost. Lost from Yul. Lost from Kyra, and, perhaps, most disturbing, I feel lost from myself.” Rog stopped and leaned over placing his forearms on the top of his knees. He looked up at Von. “I’ve never felt lost before.”

“When you say “lost from yourself,” what do you mean?”

“There is an anger inside of me I don’t know how to explain, almost like my body has been invaded my some alien creature. This is not me Von. I don’t get like this. Do you understand? I all but attacked Kyra just a short while ago.” A pale smile emerged from behind Rog’s eyes. “I will say this, she can hold her own. I walked in like my balls were made of brass and she handed them back to me on a platter. Kinda made me horny actually, if you know what I mean.”

“Yes, been awhile, but I think I know what you mean. Now tell me. What happened between you and Kyra. This is the second time you’ve alluded to some sort of confrontation.”

“It was about the note. When I read what Yul had to say I was shocked. But when I watched Kyra read it, something just didn’t seem right. It bothered me. And the feeling didn’t go away, it kinda grew. So, I confronted her in her quarters.”

“About what?”

“Whether she knew, knew that Yul wasn’t supposed to be on Bravo.”

“What did she say?”

“Said she knew. Well, actually, she said she figured it out from what she knew about Yul from the manifest and from what she saw and heard from Yul onboard. Said anyone with ears and eyes would have seen something was not right. Speaking of which, did you know?”

Von hesitated.

“You’re shiotting me. You knew?”

“No, I was just thinking, trying to think through the things I remember Yul saying and doing. Some things seemed not quite in sync but I can’t say I really thought much about it. Besides, in my mind, what was and what is—two different things—and after my time in the hands of the Javalinas, well, let’s just say it took a lot of time on Silus to make peace with the past and to let it go. So to answer your question, I didn’t know.”

“Well, I blasted Kyra for not telling me.” Rog stopped as if the statement demanded a reaction from Von.

Von didn’t say anything.

“Von, I don’t blast anyone like that. And I have no idea where it came from and that scares me. As soon as I walked out her door my first instinct was to run to the arms of Yul, for her to tell me everything would be okay and to go back and make things right. But as soon as that thought popped into my head, I realized the Yul I was thinking of no longer existed and those arms I longed to feel wrapped around me might as well be back on Hyneria. So, I came here.” Rog reached out his glass and Von poured. “Tell me what you’re thinking. Help me see what I’m not seeing.”

“You sure you want to hear what I’ve got to say?”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t. Besides, my balls are already on the platter so take your best shot.” They both laughed as those with bellies of snoot are wont to do.

So Von said what he had to say and Rog listened. Then they both sat for a long time, lost in their glasses as if the words spoken were rocks tossed into the pond of their souls, ripples slowly moving toward the shore. After a while, Rog stood up, thanked Von for the advice, and the snoot, and made his way back to his quarters. So much to think about and yet, at the same time, there was really nothing to think about at all.

Categories: Story, Rog, Von

195. Lost

Rog stepped into the hall, which for all intents and purposes might just as well been no man’s land. He had flown hoppers in every canyon on the southern reaches, known and unknown. Never once did he lose his way. Those days were gone, forever. There would be no more hoppers, no more hot meals after a hard day’s work on the ranch, no more ninker this or ninker that, no more Chaz. And now, his one foothold on sanity, appeared to be but a dream; his ability to control his environment and outcome, a hazy mirage shimmering in the back of his mind.

Categories: Story, Rog

194. Waves of Regret

Kyra drew her knees tight into her chest and wrapped her arms around her long legs, fingers laced like shoe strings and pulled just as taut. Her butter-soft leather chair warmly molded to the curve of her back with her long flowing black hair cascading over the top. Rog had left just minutes ago yet it seemed as if the world before his visit and the world after were separated by eons. Regret, Papa had often counseled her, was a tool to educate, not a whip to lash. Sounded good at the time, but Papa never did explain how to let the whip go once it was in hand; nor did he allude to the thought that sometimes the pain just felt good.

She turned the lights off, preferring to let the glow from the planet below illuminate the room, reflected pity perhaps; and she wondered at the psychological suggestions made in such a simple act. Mairi was down there in harm’s way and she was up here safe in her own quarters. She had saved her own skin but had failed at saving Mairi. Now, someone else was in charge and her services were not needed. She couldn’t argue with John’s logic, but what she was feeling right now had nothing to do with logic. Matters of the heart speak another language.

Her actions, she thought, could she see them for what that were? The answer was a muddy no. The monkeys in her mind were rattling their cages; it was impossible to think clearly. They were hungry; she had no food. So she looked on and felt sorry for herself and the rattling increased. The mental cacophony didn’t bother her, which she knew would come and go like rain showers, as much as the sedated velvety sensation of pleasure, or perhaps numbness, she couldn’t decide which, that occasioned the pity.

So she sat and stared at the planet below allowing her mind to drift in the waves of memory. This planet didn’t look all that different from Neraj, which made her smile when the memories of her and Rog, standing right in front of this same window, took their place in line. Seemed like such a long time ago. He was a good Hynerian. Not a bad bone in his body and he had been through so much. Almost died. Saved by John, a miracle of fate one could say. And then from the edge of one cliff he was jerked to safety only to find himself on the edge of another. She could only imagine the stress he carried whispered that whore--hindsight. And then there was the note.

His behavior was understandable. Hers she thought, not so easy. She should have known better, she did know better. Never use the word “should,” Papa said so often. It is one of the most evil words known to Hynerians. The rattling increased and her head began to hurt. The waves of memory picked up speed and instead of lapping at the shore came crashing against the bow of her psyche, skies gray, future uncertain. Never underestimate the power of a single kind word, or even a sincere touch or a caring look Kyra. These things have the power to change the course of a life. I have made the rounds of many a Tao on their death bed and I can say this without any hesitation. In their hour of repose, what they remembered most, were most thankful for, was not the opportunities and successes and accomplishments in their life, but rather they recalled as precious gems those singular moments when a few kind words forever changed their life. Their only regret was never having taken the time to thank the person. Keep in mind, however, it goes both ways. The tongue is sharper than any sword and can harm in ways invisible to the eye but leaves scars forever debilitating.

Her chest welled into a sigh in sync with the waves of her mind. She had lashed out at Rog, emasculated him with her tongue. He had tried to smile and make a joke at the end, but that was just Rog. She could see the hurt in his eyes, the stoop of his weary shoulders as one more burden was heaved upon them. He came in anger and fear. He came bearing the gift of opportunity and, she thought, I threw it back in his face and kicked him between the legs and then had the temerity to demand from him not once but twice, an apology. My Janus, what was I thinking?

Kyra uncoiled her legs and commed Rog. “Rog this is Kyra, come in.” No answer. “Rog, can you hear me? Over.” Still, no answer. She glanced down at her comm. He had turned his device off. “Goldie, can you find Rog for me and tell him I need to see him right away. It’s urgent.”

Categories: Story, Kyra

193. Fragile

“Come in Rog. What do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” said Kyra.

“You read the note.”

“Yes.”

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Did you know?”

“Rog, there was much in that note. Can you be a little more specific?”

“Come on Kyra, I lost my humor on the stone cold floor and search as I might, I can’t frailing find it! Did you know she was not supposed to be on Bravo?”

“Not at first.”

“So you knew. At some point you knew.”

“Yes Rog. What’s your point?”

“My point? What’s my point? Are you shiotting me. My point. I’ll tell you my point. Here it is. When were you going to tell me?”

“I wasn’t.”

“Ooooh, is that right. Well that’s just frailing great. If you weren’t . . .

“Weren’t what?” Go ahead, finish your sentence. You got something to say, then drop some frailing gonads and say it.”

“Okay, okay. You want to hear what’s on my mind. Well, I’m sick and tired of your holier than thou attitude about this ship and everyone on it. I don’t give a runt who your frailing grandfather was, the truth is not your toy to play with as you choose. You had no right to withhold that information from me. How the frail do you think I feel right now, knowing every step of the way you knew. You knew, and you said nothing. Nothing Kyra.”

“Rog, let me ask you a question. Would—“

“I don’t want to hear no Zing Tao pampus shiott. Geeesh, do you have any idea how sick and tired everyone is, and I mean damn frailing drag my hide home tired sick, of hearing about Papa this and Papa that. And just look , where has all that Zing Tao crap gotten us. Uhmm, where Kyra?”

“You ungrateful little shiott. If I recall, your sniveling pathetic little scene in the bathroom wasn’t gonna bring Yul back now was it? Answer me. Was it Rog? Was it gonna bring Yul back?”

“That’s a cheap shot and you know it.”

“Oh, I see. You can dish it out but you can’t take it. Get back to me when you grow some.”

“Kyra, that’s not what I meant.”

“Is that an apology? Well, I’m all ears.”

“Look, the point is, you had no right to withhold that information from the rest of the crew.”

“The crew? Or you? Which is it? Forget that. What difference would it have made if I had?”

“That’s not the point.”

“Well, what exactly is the point then?”

“That you should have told me. If I’m going to follow your lead, I’ve got to trust you. That’s the point.”

“I’m going to ignore that last comment. And I say again, if I had told you, what difference would it have made? Would you have thrown her out of your bed? Maybe left her on Neraj? Ostracized her from the rest of the crew? Exposed her to the Animus virus? Tell me Rog, what possible benefit would it have been to any one, including Yul, to have divulged information known only to me. And by the way, I only had a head start. The clues were there for anyone to reach the same conclusion I did.”

“I’m listening.”

“The only information I was privy to was the flight manifest. Standard background information, which is not always accurate—for a variety of reasons, both official or otherwise. The real clues were revealed in time, for those who had the eyes to see and the ears to hear. You were in love Rog, blissfully blind love, and the Yul you loved was as real as the hand in front of your face. She didn’t deceive you. Love never does.”

“I don’t see how can you say that. Everything she represented herself—“

“Shut up and sit down before you say something that is really gonna piss me off. Now look at me and open those big ears of yours because I’m only going to say this once. I didn’t bring Yul back. She came back for you.”

“What the—“

“She loves you Rog. Can’t you see that? She didn’t have to come back. She heard the beat of your heart and she made a choice. She chose love.”

“But how can I—“

“Rog, have you been completely honest with Yul on every personal detail of your life?

“Yes.”

“If that is true, then you should thank Janus she still loves your sorry hide. If it’s not, well, tell me Rog, where is the line between you and her?”

“This is more Zing Tao crap isn’t it?”

“Yes, Rog, very high level top secret stuff. Don’t tell anyone.”

“What a pampus hide I am.”

“Yes, well said. Apology accepted. By the way, what is that smell?”

“Goat’s milk. You like?”

“Janus no. Dismissed. Now. Go.”

Categories: Story, Kyra, Rog, Yul

192. I Know

T: Rog, thanks for granting us this interview. Kyra will be along in just a bit but I think we can get started.

R: No problem. Let’s do it.

T: If you would, start from your time in hospital.

R: Sure. My recovery proceeded much faster than anyone expected; and, I was able to convince John to release me a day early without telling anyone. I wanted to surprise Yul. They had flowers, which may seem like a strange thing to say, but in space, you don’t exactly come across them everyday and we hadn’t for some time. Yul loved flowers so I knew I had the perfect makings for a wonderful surprise.

T: Did you know at this time why Yul had acted so strange when she first came to visit you?

R: No frailing clue. I felt like such a blockhead because all the signals were there—that something was wrong—but I was so self-absorbed in my own good fortune I didn’t see it. I suppose Kyra is right. We do see the universe as if we were dead center and everything else revolves around us. Not exactly the best prescription for building a relationship is it.

T: I suppose not. So you got out a day early and no one knew.

R: Yep.

T: And you had flowers.

R: Yeah, I did. Very exotic. John said Cait grew them in their garden and that they were sure to make the impression I was after. I knew Yul was going to love’em. I was determined that whatever was bothering her I was going to fix, or, as I used to think, use my force of will to wash away. Much power in a smile, but sometimes . . .

T: Sometimes? Please continue.

R: Sometimes you need just a little more. And sometimes [Rog looked down], sometimes you just need a little luck. Hindsight, well, I’m getting ahead of myself.

T: So you were released early. What happened next?

R: I walked, no, actually I ran to my quarters, jumped in the shower and tried my best to scrub that hospital smell from my hide. You know, the one that reeks of stale linens and that strange metallic scent. So I scrub my skin red, jump out of the shower and as I’m standing in front of the mirror drying my hair I’ll be damned if that smell isn’t still there. No can do. Believe me, there would be no babies if we all smelled like that and besides, the last thing I wanted to remind Yul of was that moment in the room.

T: So, how did you get rid of it?

R: Look, if you are going to interrupt me every time I get started on this story, I’d just as soon stop now.

T: Sorry, please continue.

R: First time I met Yul I had used some homemade goat’s milk soap in the shower that morning—very strong scent that tends to stay with you all day. She loved it. Said it was pure Rog. Down-to-hyneria, strong and pure with a touch of raw integrity, whatever that meant, but she just loved the smell. I didn’t normally use it since it can overpower all other smells, not a good thing in tight quarters; believe me, in space, a strong smell can get old real fast. Besides, I didn’t want to interfere with the flowers, but, as they say, desperate times call for desperate measures. So, I jumped back into the shower.

T: I take it, it worked?

R: [Rog laughed] Yeah, it worked. Couldn’t smell the flowers anymore but what the hell, I was after bigger fish if you know what I mean. And failure, as they say, was not an option. Had a lot of confidence at that time in my life. Ignorance breeds it—or stupidity—take your choice. You know how they say everything happens for a reason?

T: Yes.

R: Well, drum that idea out of your head. Sometimes shiott happens and there ain’t no reason. And there ain’t nothing you can do about it either. That whole universe thing again. Truth doesn’t bargain nor suffer fools-kinda like Yul I suppose. My nut was a little tougher to crack. Dad always said I preferred the hard way. Can’t say he was wrong, although at the time I would have lived up to his argument.

T: Not sure I follow that last bit?

R: Maybe a couple shots of snoot will clear your head. Hey [Rog motions to my assistant], bring us some snoot or whatever you call that stuff. We’ll sort you out. Anyway, this is what you don’t know. The whole time I’m pimping in front of my mirror, Yul was sitting in front of hers too. You got that Jack? Ask Kyra about the difference a few seconds can make. Frailing vanity. Cost me a few minutes. Not much of a trade but then again hindsight is a cheap beotch turning her last trick of the night. How was I to know?

T: [Puzzled look]

R: Not your fault. I’m getting ahead of myself. All these memories exist for me as one thing, a single event, and I don’t normally separate them out into chronological order. So here we are, me getting ready for my surprise visit while at the same time Yul is sitting in front of her mirror. She is getting ready too. Of course, I had no idea.

T: Okay.

R: So I sneak down the hall and let myself into her quarters. Of course, I had the code for silent entry. Her quarters were dark, which at the time I thought was a little odd, but again, I wasn’t really thinking about anything other than my own agenda; was feeling quite proud of myself actually. I called out her name. No answer. I knew she was there—in her quarters that is. I saw a dim pale blue light coming from her private quarters, so I tip toed toward the bedroom. The light was coming from her bathroom. With the flowers held behind my back and the biggest grin I could muster I poked my head around the corner.

[Assistant shows up with snoot] Care to join me?

T: No thanks.

R: Suit yourself. [Rog knocks back his shot and mine and tells assistant to bring more] I wouldn’t normally drink during an interview but I think you’ll understand in a minute. Have you ever had a moment when you felt her heart was going to knock itself right through your chest and onto the floor?

T: Well . . .

R: Hold that thought. When I poked my head into the bathroom Yul was lying on the floor, a dark blue liquid dripped from the corner of her mouth and had formed a puddle on the floor around her cheek, which caught the flicker of the candles she had burning on the vanity. That dance of light was the only thing moving. [Rog stopped, starring straight at me]

A: Kyra has arrived. Should I bring her in?

T: [I looked at Rog] He nodded.

K: I hope I’m not interrupting.

R: Not at all. Your timing is right on, again. I was telling our friend I had just walked into the bathroom and found Yul on the floor.

K: I see. Please continue.

R: At that time in my life, I felt I had experienced quite a bit. When I saw Yul, unconscious, cold, on the floor, my knees buckled at the hands of fate and I knew—I knew in that instant, in a flash and I can’t emphasis that enough, the moment was quicker than the snap of my fingers, I knew that I knew nothing and I knew that my whole world, everything I thought I held dear, trusted was so, was slipping away. Hard to explain the moment, the feeling, the sensation. Your eyes see and your mind thinks but there is a disconnect between the two. All that you stand upon gives way and the emotional fall knows no bottom; and so you fall into the pitch of darkness for what seems like eternity. Part of you just wants to hit bottom and end the nightmare. But there is another part, arms wailing, that wants to grab hold of some imaginary branch. Your heart feels like it is in your ears, your stomach in your throat while your mouth lips words--but no sound comes out.

K: Was this the moment you commed me?

R: No, not yet. In what seemed like a lifetime but must have only been seconds I dropped the flowers, fell to my knees and immediately grabbed her head—my Janus, I had held her head a thousand times and it had never felt this leaden. The conversation is still as blurry in my mind as her face was in my tear streaked eyes and I wasn’t sure how much was directed toward Yul and how much toward Janus. She had no pulse. Her eyes were open, wet; and they seemed to be staring directly at me, kinda like one of those painting that no matter where you stand in the room the eyes always seem to be looking right at you. They looked like doll eyes, glassy and all I can remember is violently shaking my head back and forth.

My Janus, those eyes. Do you know what it is like to see those eyes, those eyes you have seen so many times, those eyes that animate your every waking moment, those eyes that have brought pleasure and delight in the sparkle of midnight stars. Do you know? Can you imagine seeing those eyes staring back at you now—lifeless, begging? They seem to say, where were you? Where were you when I needed you? And all you can think is what a frailing stupid idiot you were pimping in front of the mirror because that is where you were.

T: With all due respect, seems a little harsh to view your actions that way.

R: [Rog smiled] I had dropped the flowers on the floor when I saw her. After all the begging and pleading and swearing I pulled her limp head into my chest and cried for I don’t know how long. I think the goat’s milk scent interfered with my ability to smell, but when I pulled her head to mine and that viscous blue liquid rubbed against my skin, the burning sensation told me what I needed to know. And then I saw the vial, broken as my soul, upon that stone cold floor. That is when I commed K.

T: [Turning to Kyra] Where were you when the call came?

K: I was in my quarters standing in front of the window looking down at the planet and wondering how I had let John talk me out of accompanying his search and rescue team. Preoccupied, in my own world one could say. I knew I would only get in the way of their teams and that John was right, still, I felt I owned it to Mairi to be there when they found her. So, I was having a pity party and my mind was filled with the self-doubt that only the ego can manipulate.

T: What did Rog say when he commed?

K: He said, It’s Yul, it’s Yul. Please Janus, It’s Yul. What have you done baby. My Janus, what have you done? I commed that I was on my way. When I walked into that bathroom he had Yul’s limp body pulled tightly to his and the two of them were smeared in what appeared to be a purplish blue liquid. I knew instinctively the situation. Not good.

R: I don’t remember K arriving. One moment I was pulling Yul to me as if I could squeeze the poison from her pores if I just held her tight enough and then the next moment I felt K telling me to let go.

K: Actually, I told you to let go of her hands and to hold her head in your chest as if her very life depended on hearing the beat of your heart and to think of nothing else. Oh, and I think I told you to keep your mouth shut too if I recall correctly. You were mumbling like a baby.

R: Really?

K: Yes. Now, as I said before, shut up. I think he wants to hear the story from one who was there. [Kyra winked at Rog and Rog signaled for more snoot]

T: Kyra, the floor is all yours.

K: I held both of Yul’s hands in mine with my chest pressed up against Rog’s back as he held her head in his chest. All three of us are still on the floor. I closed my eyes and focused my heart. My mind filled with white light and I saw Yul and then Kieran. Yul spoke first and this is what happened:

[Yul]: I see the light. I feel the light. And you want me to go back to darkness? (laughter) Get the frail out of here.

[Kyra]: The light will be here—when it is your time.

[Yul]: And who are you to tell me when my time is?

[Kyra]: I have something to show you. (I showed her the scene back in the bathroom with Rog holding her head tightly to his chest, his eyelids shut so tight they appeared to be squeezing out the tears that were raining down upon her beautiful mane.) Our life is not ours alone. The way to light is love. This room is not the room, but rather an antechamber, a waypoint so to speak, the nexus between this world and the next one. If you decide to stay, I cannot promise that when we leave you will remain in light. Look again at the scene below and ask yourself: Did you bring love here with you or is that love crying out for you right now? Look Yul. Look at those hands holding your head so tightly to his chest. Can you hear the beat of his heart? Can you feel the energy of his love? Can you see the light in his soul shinning out for you? Look again. Tell me what you see?

[Kieran] Time is running short. You must decide. We cannot hold this chamber open much longer.

[Yul]: (She looked again. Kyra’s eyes were closed and her entire body seemed to be trembling with a slight glow, her hands locked on hers. Rog held her head and sobbed) I don’t know. I don’t know if I can go back to what is there. You don’t know everything.

[Kyra]: True, but I do know love and I know there are no guarantees on when or if you will ever find it. But I will say this, when you do find it, run, run like the wind and embrace it like Rog is embracing you right now. If you can’t see that, if you can’t feel the merging of his soul into yours, then I say try harder. Yul, listen to me. I can’t stay here much longer. I’m your ticket back. Come with me. Come with me now.

[Kieran]: Ask yourself where love is. If you believe you have it here, then stay. But if love is back in that room, then go to it. That is where you belong. Either way, you must decide now.

R: All I know is when she released the contents of her belly and that blue slime spewed all over me I thought I had squeezed the life out of her. And then she coughed and threw up some more and I could feel a pulse and her eyes blinked and looked at me in a way I don’t think I had ever seen before. All I could say was that I loved her and that is when she spoke these words: “I know.”

T: [Period of silence] Kyra, you said there was a note.

K: Yes, we found a note. She never asked about it and so we suspected she didn’t remember writing it.

T: Can you share what was in the note?

K: Perhaps another time. It doesn’t really fit with this part of the story.


Categories: Story, Rog, Yul, Kyra, Kieran, Earth, Interview

191. Tightening the Net

Looking from the Aegis' bridge, John spoke to Tom. "Beautiful isn't it, the net. Is it fully operational?"

"Yes sir," replied Tom. "Ain't nothing on that planet getting off without us knowing."

"Good. Status of our search and rescue mission?"

"Teams fully employed. We expect contact within hours."

"Thanks Tom. Alert me as soon as contact is established, I'll be in my quarters. I want full A/V Tom. No unexplained static this time."

Tom nodded.

"And Tom."

"Yes sir?"

"We need the Null alive. As for the rest, use operational judgment. "

"Understood."

Categories: Story, John Discovery

Housekeeping

I've finally complied The Story into a single file, which is why you may have seen my blog change from black to white and back again (had to change it in order to capture black text for cutting and pasting as I quickly realized white text on a white page was a little hard to read).

No worries, the soul of DT is black background--the images and ambiance simply fit the story and the images best. My question, however, is this: If there are those that find reading the story with black text on a white background much easier on the eye, I'm willing to perhaps change for a day or two each week (beta blogger makes changing colors about as easy as it can be so really no extra work to do so). Give me your feedback in comments please. Of course, if everyone is fine with the traditional white text on black background there is no reason to alternate.

A few stats on The Story to date:

Chapters (postings): 190
Images: 221
Word Count: 68, 866
Pages (single spaced--sans images--size 12 font) 203