day fifty-four:
overall, mood consistent/steady/good
music still not as it was--poetry not of interest--neither is reading
day fifty-five:
if your life sucks, no amount of medication is going to change that
day fifty-six:
doctor's appointment--agreement that meds are working--next appointment in three months--we stay the course--since the meds have been working exactly as they should over the last several weeks and side-effects have abated to very low levels, this will be the last journal update (assuming nothing changes)--what I am dealing with now is no longer clinical depression but the daily travails we all have in our lives, both personally and professionally and I see no need to document beyond my experience taking a psychoactive drug--I am very thankful for each and every one of you that have followed me over the last two months and have offered me so much hope and encouragement--I would hug you all if I could--thank you
10 comments:
Hmmmm, mixed emotions concerning this post. On the one hand, I'm so very happy the meds are working for you, and that you realize you have much work to do. I have no doubt that you will come out stronger (mentally). You know what needs to be done, and how to do it. Now you must execute your plan :-) On the down side, not being able to follow you leaves an absence, a hole if you will.
My friend, you will persevere. If there is ever anything I can do, please don't hesitate to give me a shout.
Thoughts and Prayers will always be with you.
Love and TIGHT HUGS too.
H
If there are new developments with regard to the Setraline, which I'm still taking at the same dosage and will for three more months, I'll add them to the journal. As always, thanks for the hugs. :-)
Looking back to just before you began this course, and those first couple of weeks, though there was great hope and faith, and determination throughout that you would arrive here, where the meds are doing precisely what they are supposed to and with minimal side-effects, where you are in agreement with the doctor regarding outcome and the future, could only be called a definite success.
Your openness throughout these posts, which brought very many of your most admirable and lovable traits into the spotlight so to speak, your strength and determination, your awareness, your hope and appreciation, your particularly tuned emotional sensitivity and thoughtfulness to mention but a few, and as throughout the life of your blog, friends and strangers alike have been drawn to you. You are a very special person, the reflection hereof seen in your inbox throughout these 56 days (and more).
if your life sucks, no amount of medication is going to change that I couldn't help but smile at the plain truth and as spoken, expressiveness. None of us need a headstart, but coming from behind nobody needs. With your toes on the starting line, the wish now is for favourable winds.
Love you dearly. Bless your loving, giving heart, never more visible as these last several weeks.
I agree--mixed feelings, yet mainly positive. You have done what you set out to do, and documented it with courage and grace. You have identified the issues to deal with now, separate from the medication. That doesn't make it any easier, perhaps, but it can give you the focus you need to stride on into the next phase. Good luck, as ever, and all my support.
Ian
and so it begins.
i want for you goodness, depth of feeling, creativity, and wealth, however it shows itself.
xo
erin
Erin, I want the same things. Hugs and kisses.
Ian, I'm having second thoughts about the journaling so we might see a bit more. If nothing else, it keeps me writing. I am a different person on the meds and I want to explore those differences so as not to lose the person I was and with each passing day, it gets easier to forget the premed me versus the med me. The changes are more good than not, but I do miss the emotional range I had before.
Autumn, you know I am a simple man with simple needs/wants/desires and I tend to see the world through the eyes of a child. Sometimes I just need my hand held. ;-)
:)
Here's the thing about sucky times in our lives...they always hold something of real value for us, on some level. AND
Tough times don't last. The Wheel always turns. Here's to Life giving your Wheel a HUGE push...better times await.
Keeping the faith. Feeling the Love. Sending you a Hug.
Thanks Grace. Is that hug with the black and tan or without? ;-)
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