day fifty:
high level of anxiety (financial/employment)--mood remains steady, stable, neither high nor low
day fifty-one:
internals remain steady/healthy/normal--stress/anxiety still high (money issues)--high levels of stress make judging effects of meds difficult--the general sense is of transparency, which is to say, I cannot tell, other than a very healthy frame of mind, that the Sertraline is in my system--side-effects are virtually nil--general attitude the last two days has been very good, very level and a good countersink for the high levels of financial stress
as I reflect on the last year, I can say without any reservations, I am thankful for the humility and grateful for the perspective gained from having my financial situation turned upside down--my levels of compassion for others has grown as I have dealt with my own mental illness and how I have experienced first hand how dependent we are on the bucket of chemicals that make us who we are--rebuilding my professional career will not be easy but if I have learned anything in adversity, it is that there is more to life than what we do, more to who we are than the title on our desk, more to the value we offer than the checks we can write
I am also extremely grateful for the wonderful friends I have in this online world and their magnificent encouragement and support--don't ever let anyone tell you that online friends are just imaginary or pretend--sending love and hugs and kisses--you guys have meant the world to me
4 comments:
Sounds like you have made it across the bridge. Sit, Eat, Rest. If anyone deserves it, my friend, it's you. It's been a long hard journey and you made it to the sunny side...the sunny side of life. Good luck with the job hunt.
I hope the new year is all that you hope and dream for.
Thoughts and Prayers
Love
TIGHT HUGS
hH
Mon Cher Ami...
Cette année qui vient de s'écouler n'aura pas toujours été emplie de bonheur et Dieu sait combien elle aura pu vous désservir. Je suis attristée de vous savoir ainsi, démuni et impuissant face à ce coup du sort.
Sincèrement et du plus profond de mon coeur, je souhaite que cette nouvelle année puisse vous apporter tout ce que vous n'avez pas eu durant la précédente. Que le courage soit encore plus fort, et que, de ce combat, vous puissiez en savourer la victoire.
Je n'ai que mon sourire et ma pensée à vous offrir .... et puis mon soutien, mon cher Trée !
Je vous embrasse !
I do so love you, dear, sweet heart, for so many reasons, and for hearing your words here, speaking of what this past year has bestowed upon you, that which you will keep close as you make your way through the next. It may very well have been said a million times before, which makes it not less true but more, that which does not kill us makes us stronger. For what you have learned in the past, your future will benefit. And there is indeed something to be said for having come through the hardest of times, an anchoring knowledge that lines the stomach and lifts the heart, wind in the sails if you will knowing as you make your way through stormy waters that invariably lie along any course, you can handle your ship.
In regards to your final paragraph, 'tis so very well said.
I wish you well as you seek new employment with the hope that you will find something more pleasing than you can imagine. Love and hugs and happy days ahead, x
Ladies, thank you. Wishing you each all the love and happiness that you can handle in the year to come. Love, hugs and kisses.
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