Walking lapsI see smiles
and eyes
fragile
they seek
need
a smile
a glimmer
of eye
a fair exchange
a smile
for
a smile
a look
for
a look
a hunger
for recognition
acknowledgement
acceptance
of hands joined
in common
purpose
miss a smile
miss a look
and the laps
get lonely
as eyes
stare ahead
and lips once
raised
remain
quiet
6 comments:
Innovative and original, simple and real, you have a way of not only handling a thought with care and attention that is rare and wonderfully sensitive, like a light shining upon, a glow unlike any other and what might have been known is know known more intimately, known in a way that would never otherwise have been. You are like a narrator to the world, directing attention that might wander elsewhere to what is meaningful. I read an article yesterday about a recent study, whereby figures have been put on a fact of which we were all aware was true to some extent. The official extent according to research is that happiness, smiles, vibrations can travel three degrees of separation.
I love the way that this is written, versus short, lines of syllables that are countable of one hand, the symbolism that can be found in the word 'laps'. I have to point out, though it may seem a very obvious thing to say there is something about the way that it is worded that lessens the emphasis, as though the acknowledgement is not made that there is love and openness in the seeing, as though it comes so naturally credit is not given, that doesn't make the kind of sense I was hoping to, but what you are seeing here, what you are describing is seen with pure eyes and though you approach it as you do, your manner is unassuming so to speak, no direct acknowledgement of the fact that where you have looked, not enough do. Which is not to say, the final verse was not read as it might be read. Your use of the word lonely reminds me of a piece of cloth being wrung, every last drop of moisture sought, there is such a quiet intensity, echoes, powerfully affecting, lending an even greater sense of poignancy to the words that follow. This is such a beautifully written poem, a masterpiece. I loved it.
Thank you Ms Storm. I often go to my local park where they have a beautiful tree lined one mile path. People walk in both directions and so, if others are walking laps like you are, you see them pass every ten minutes or so. If you make eye contact and smile, and they do the same, you find they do it every lap. If you miss a look and a smile, the next time round, they seldom look or smile again in the passing. Rarely, it seems, does this not hold true and I wonder if people simply don't want to look where the look is not returned.
truly people are afraid of emotions.people also misread expressions or lack of them. It is the nonsureity of thoughts behind a smile that makes one hesitant...
Mona, if we were to ever meet, you'd see one thing from me--a smile of happiness and joy. :-)
There is a saying 'if you see a person without a smile, give them yours'
I like your words told, you. As I know this moment too.
SarahA, I like that saying. :-)
As always, thanks for the kind words. :-)
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