“Yul, I’ve got something I need to say,” said Rog. “I’m not sure why I didn’t say this sooner, but, well—“Yul sat up, opened her teary eyes and smeared her little fists across her face. “Rog, before you say anything, there’s something you need to know.”
“Baby—“
“Let me finish.” Rog sat up and Yul summoned her courage in what was only a second but seemed to both like a minute or more. “My name is not Yul.”
If Rog was a clock, he just stopped ticking; as he would later say, for one of the few times in my life, I had no response. He knew all was not right with her past and that she was not the one that was suppose to be on Bravo and had concluded that perhaps some sort of foul play was involved, something that Yul felt the need to hide, or at least not disclose. He had made peace with that picture. This name thing, however, caught him off-guard and his heart sank as if those five words had moved his peg back to the starting line.
“Rog?” Yul snapped her fingers. “I’m right here baby. Talk to me.”
“Sorry, Yu--.” Rog hesitated, hoping something intelligent would pop in his head, like real fast. “Okay, let me say two things.” Then he hesitated and rubbed his jaws as if they were rusty and needing oil, as if the rubbing would loosen his sticky hinges of articulation.
“Okay, whenever you are ready,” said Yul, filling the uncomfortable silence with a tone tinged with fear not unfamiliar. She rarely opened herself up because the few times she had, instead of love and understanding, she was judged and convicted. The pain of self-righteous condemnation was not a feeling she wanted to ever experience again. As Rog hesitated, she braced herself like one on the ground expecting to see the foot and not the hand.
“First, I don’t care what your name is, the person I see in front of me and the person I have come to know and love does not change with a label. Good milk is good milk, my dad used to always say, and don’t ever let no salesman convince you otherwise.”
Yul tried to laugh. “What the hellocks does that mean?”
Rog smiled that smile that only he could. “It means I love you, not your name, not your past, not my idea of who I think you are. I love you Yu--, or, well, crap, I forgot my second question. Not that it matters, but, what is your name?”
“I was called Alyssa, or Aly for short. Yul is my identical twin sister’s name.”
“You have an identical twin sister?”
“Stop it. I know that look. I’m serious Rog.”
“I know you are baby, but an identical twin. Give me a minute.”
“Imagine all you want, she was nothing like me. In fact, quite the opposite.”
“Sooooo . . . ?” (said slowly and softly as if he was tip-toeing through a minefield)
“So, you want to know why I’m onboard and she isn’t?”
“Yes. No. I mean . . . “
“Spit it out.”
“I mean yes, I want to know the story, but no, it don’t matter. As I said, what is done is done and that doesn’t change good milk to bad.”
“Her name was on the manifest. So, I assumed it.”
“I figured as much. You don’t have to share with me why if you don’t want to.”
“Ranch boy, it’s not a matter of want as much as need. You deserve to know and I need to walk to the edge and face an old fear. So I reckon, as you might say, we have a mutual interest.” Yul reached out and took Rog’s hands as she leaned forward. “But I need to ask you one thing first?”
“Sure.”
“When I fall, will you catch me?”
Rog smiled with eyes like full moons sitting on the horizon of his rising cheeks. “I think I can answer that question in one word: abso-frailing-lutely!”
And so Yul began to talk, and a lightness she had never felt came upon her as if each piece of her story was a rock taken from her shoulders, presented to Rog, and laid upon the floor.
Categories: Story, Rog, Yul, Paintings
36 comments:
No doubt in my mind, Rog would come through. Time and time again, he has shown how solid he is. Wonderful turn of events, it warms the heart to know there are people out there who (and there are though this is here), who will look past the surface to what is underneath, both in others and in themselves. That last part is the most wonderful, knowing that whatever it took for her to show her ghosts, it eased her, lifted her, rather than taking her down.
Recently, as these characters become more and more real, there are aspects to their lives that though evoke curiosity almost seem as though they should remain private. Whether or not you have the intention of relaying more detail to us within the story, it just feels like it is enough, Rog knows, Rog will understand, and that's the important thing.
Nicely done, once again. :-)
And a happy Wednesday to you, x
From Meg:
I just read this post. . . . .on my phone of all places, cause I just can't get into blogger at work right now - don't know if its going to be a temporary thing or not. Anyway, I went and read it on phone and then when I went to post a comment it wouldn't take it through the phone (really getting frustrated!!!) but what I wanted to say was:
OMG - was so not expecting that !!! Did I miss something along the way? Was Alyssa introduced before at all?
I just love how your write the interaction between Rog and Yul - probably the most of any relationship in the story,
and now the twist and turns that Alyssa can bring to the story - my oh my!!! As always Tree, love the post, love the story -
thanks for the fix!!
Sunshine, I think at some point we are going to learn what happened on the dock between "Yul" and "Aly." I already have a good bit of the "why" worked out in my head and it fits very nicely with what we know so far.
Having said that, I'll have to give your sentiment some serious thought, in part, because I had never thought to think where some information should remain private. Interesting idea and I'd like to hear more of your thoughts along these lines, if you care to share.
I think these last couple of chapters have shown us a side of Rog that we haven't seen much of, which is the incredible heart that he has, and it also shows us he is more than just brawn and heart, but there is a very clear thinking head on his shoulders, which his use of language sometimes covers up.
As always, thanks for the very, very engaged comments. Always my pleasure to see what you have written. :-)
Meg, the pleasure is all mine. Glad you found the WordPress site and were able to comment there. Happy to be of service. :-D
By the way, I think you might be the first to actually read a chapter of this story on a phone. I think there should be some sort of reward for that. :-)
I read that back just now and in doing so, I can see that it doesn’t read exactly as it was meant. If you gave me a choice on any given subject/scene/etc, I would choose to know. What I was alluding to is how real the characters have become and just with real people, one would not wish to intrude on what is private unless that person is willing/wanting to share – neither does it mean that we will be completely left out, nor that we cannot know them completely without knowing everything. This scene just seemed so very personal, real and a central moment for the two of them. In other words, why this came up on this chapter in particular is that, were we not to hear anything else, there is an established trust based on the heretofore – trust in what Yul has to tell, we would find understanding for, along with Rog, thus trust in Rog’s reaction too.
Rog, more than many, is a very vivid character. We have seen him in many varied scenes, one couldn’t help but have gained a clear impression of him (combat, the past and his brother, with Von, in the room, his relationship with Yul which has been shown in again a variety of situations, the future, interactions with Kyra, and a whole host of others). Maybe it was there in print, maybe it wasn’t, maybe it was between the lines and maybe it’s all imagination :-), but to me these chapters build on what was there, his decency, his heart, his wit, his loyalty, his sense of fun and how he loves. We knew, and now it is being confirmed.
To reiterate that main part, certainly would we want to hear more about the sisters and what happened at the dock (very excited to hear more about that in fact), but somehow as a confession to Rog tied into the request for understanding and continued love, even more significant by way of the rejections (etc) she has suffered along the way, the way I cannot help but feel is that this moment is theirs and I don't need to know the details to know the outcome.
Okay, bed, I'll re-read that in the morning and see if I need to re-write what I re-wrote. :-D
Have a wonderful evening, xo
Wow. Tried not to read all of this, because I'm at work, limited on time and computer, but found myself catching/sneaking snitches of your words. It's like the book you just can't bear to put down... I am cheating myself though - because reading in bits and pieces just manages to put it all in a jumble instead of a flowing series of events. I see them swirling in my head - all at once. I need to just WAIT until I can do the story justice, and lose myself in the characters once again. When I found myself tearing up at Yul's thoughts... sheesh. It's just a story for crying out loud... isn't it?
Don't keep the good bits "private"! Perhaps "Yul" can share them with us in a dream and not share them with anyone else. At least then we will know what motivates her / her story. Some of us like to have things spelled out. In detail!
Amazing post - as usual.
What a story, what an author! Leaves us all in awe.
Ur new profile pic had me drooling at work LOL!
Keshi.
WOW, Rog is my hero. I loved this chapter, there were no judgments, he knew that he loved her and her name did not matter. She trusted him enough to tell him and that says so much about her too. She is really fighting to put her past to rest and move forward. Way to go Aly. I think Rog is sexier now than ever. *dreamy sigh*
HUUUUUGS to you and Jack!
Evening, poppet, how'd we do?
Victory! Tigers 41 Irish 14. I bow to the power of your pompoms. :-D
Excellent news! Beers on me to celebrate. :-D Have a good one, and sweet dreams when you get that far, x
Glad I came back when I did. This is so spellbinding. I confess that I do want to read more about the details.
No worries Deb. We are going to see Yul and Aly's dock scene and find out just what happened and why. I do have to warn you, this will be a Kleenex chapter. :-D
As always, thanks for the very, very kind words. Always appreciated. :-)
Karen, I'm LMAO at not only your comment but some of the others as it concerns Rog. When I wrote this chapter, and even now when I reread it, I hardly see Rog, almost to the point that he is only there to give Yul a stage. For me, this chapter is all Yul. :-D
I find it utterly fascinating to read how others see the story and it thrills me to no end to have this interaction and sharing and to see different interpretations of what is going on and why and how it changes one's view of the characters. I'll let Rog know (but I won't tell Jack) how you feel. He'll be flattered. :-)
Keshi, so good to have you back. Thanks for those kind and endearing words. Much appreciated my dear friend. :-)
Jenni, hopefully we won't have to wait long to find out, in detail, what happened and why it happened that fateful day on the dock. This "dock story" really fits in well with what we know so far and I think will fill in some gaps, not all, but some of the gaps we have about why Yul has done some of the things she has done of late. Thanks, as always, for reading and leaving such nice comments. :-)
Terry, so good to see you back again. I've missed having you around.
Yes, it is just a story, but if you would, please don't say that too loud. I'm still thinking if I search hard enough in the Caribbean (my retirement plans), I might just find Kyra and Rog and a few others and I'm not ready to pop that bubble just yet. :-D
Sunshine, I need to spend more time rereading your comments here before I try and respond. I have a feeling I think I know what you are saying, but then again, I've been wrong before, many times, too many times. :-D
Now bring those feet over here so I can rub them. :-D
Don't worry about it. :-)
Happy day to you. I see you managed to put in that new feature, looks great.
Yes, it was about Yul, but Rog could have stomped out but he didn't. How romantic... made me swoon. LOL There need to be more white knights in this world. ;-)
Thank you for not ratting me out to Jack; he should know he's always got a special place in my heart, but this time Rog just did it for me. Whew. Just in case Jack is feeling lonely, make sure he knows I send him some kisses.
Rog provides in this chapter something which everyone ultimately desires, unconditional love, hence his role here is so notable. Basically, I agree with Karen. :-)
Sunshine, I'm just shaking my head (in a very good way with a large smile) over this chapter in the sense of what I suppose is a gender bias or perhaps just a writer/reader gap between the intent in writing and the reception in reading (neither right nor wrong--and I think a very good thing). I honestly wrote to part of Rog in this chapter as one who simply had made peace with his issues concerning Yul's past and behavior and was willing to put all that aside and see her for what she "is" not for what she "was" or what he thought she "was." I really didn't think his behavior was all that big a deal (oh, and by the way, one of my aborted chapters was a conversation between Von and Rog where he basically told him to get over himself--and he did--so in my mind, Von kicked him in the arse and he got his mind right about opening his heart and mind to loving Yul). So I suppose, in my mind, Rog was just back to being Rog, nothing really special, just kinda the way he is. In other words, I didn't really think that his behavior was "all that." Just kinda what I expected him to do after Von got his mind right.
Yul, however, as least for me, is the one that had to climb that mountain of fear and open herself (and she has been hurt bad before) to Rog (who recently looked like he was also rejecting her) not knowing how he would respond. The courage it took for her to admit that, I felt was/is a turning point in her character, a point where for the first time, she can be honest with Rog and later, with the whole crew.
Well, that's the word on the street from my house anyway. :-D
Karen, was that a special place in your heart for Jack, or a special place in your hands? Just want to be clear before I pass the message on to our friend. You know how excitable he is. :-D
Tree!! Look how far you've come! Working with colors - and I could have guessed your soft, decorative style before it ever came out. It suits you well.
The fracs are a-f&#king-mazing as always!! I just updated Apop again but I amd SO out of practice. Ah well, I'll keep enjoying yours and aspiring to them. :)
Love and hugs to you sweet man.
Clear sky tonight. Beautiful moon shining down on my grinning face!
Oh Aggie, you are always so nice to me. Thanks so much for those kind words.
Boy, wish we had clear skies. Raining cats and dogs here at the moment. Never fear, up above the clouds I know our moon shines bright. See you at 10. :-)
The mystery deepens. Why is Aly using Yul's name? Where is Yul now??
Saffy, Yul's name was on the flight manifest for Bravo. If Aly had tried to board as Aly, she would have been denied entry. The real Yul stayed behind on Hyneria, in Aly's place.
I admit it... it was both ;-) and perhaps one or two other places.
Oh my, I'm not sure Jack needed to hear that right before bed. He's a rather light sleeper and has been known for some solo nocturnal activities. Gonna have to keep an eye on the boy now, or is that a hand. :-D
I'd vote for a hand...... or two... perhaps some warm kisses?
I think you have Jack's attention now. The boy looks like an Irish Setter on the hunt. :-D
He deserves some pets and kisses then; most definitely.
He does respond to loving pets, no doubt about that. Treat him well and you have a friend for life. :-)
Nothing but the best treats for Jack...
:-)
I see what you mean. Thing is, I think we all had such confidence in Rog, that he would come through, but it's the words that he uses that just have that swooning (as someone said) effect.
Naturally, as a continuance of the chapter below, Yul's step to tell Rog is huge, massive, but I guess, Rog being Rog, it all falls into place and though she takes the step, as you wrote, he will be there to catch her. Which doesn't lesson in any way the act of courage, but it does make the reader worry less about what might happen, and as such Rog takes his part of the focus.
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